To not find 'guys' an offensive term?

[DrSheldonCooperPHD]

We have a new manager at work. Our team is 20 people (12 women and 8 men).

New manager held a mini informal meeting this morning, all very nice and very chatty. At the end he said something along the lines of 'thanks guys, great meeting' and one of the women in the team said 'excuse me? guys? That's extremely offensive to the majority of the team who are female!' And walked out of the meeting room.
The MD was also in the room and he and new manager left for another meeting shortly after so I've no idea what happened (if anything) after.

Would this offend you? It didn't even really register with me until she piped up. Everyone seemed very bemused by it all.

wow your colleague sounds like she has a massive chip on her shoulder and bloody hard work. Do you work in the Public Sector by any chance?

Now if he’d said “Thanks lads” then I wouldn’t blame her

Doesn’t offend me - now ‘people’ irritates me!

Some people just look to be offended. Ladies and gents, boys and girls, men and women - all upset someone.

Personally I don’t like the use of “guys” as I find it too much of an Americanism but I wouldn’t be too offended if somebody used it. Where I used to work our line manager used “Chaps and Chapesses” which used to make me cringe too.

I wouldn’t have said anything but come on, this is bonkers

I always thought ‘guys’ was a casual name for a group of people of any gender.

It’s not though is it? The fact that it’s common usage to use it this way is indicative of inherent misogyny, because Guy is not a neutral term.

If a manager referred to a mixed sex room as girls or ladies, how would men respond? The fact that there’s no direct equivalent of “guys” to refer to women is also telling.

If he'd said 'thanks to the ladies for the tea and biscuits, if you could get the washing up done sharpish that would be fab. Well done men for the great work' I might have something to say.

I use 'guys' for both mixed and single sex groups to be honest. I'd happily say to a group of female friends or colleagues I'm friendly with 'right guys, we ready to go for lunch?' and if one of them was offended I would think they were nuts.

I asked my daughter btw. She said 'peppa peeeeez' which I think translates to 'what a terribly condescending thing to suggest you do Mummy, when you are a grown woman who can think and feel for herself'. Roughly.

Taking offence at the inoffensive makes it harder to get genuinely offensive things taken seriously…

This is one of those things that isn't a little thing though. As pp have said if your husband came home from a night out with his female colleagues and said "been out with the guys from work" you would imagine a bunch of men. Not all the women in his office and him (and i can imagine the AIBU after that)

When the default is always male (think of a soldier, think of a nurse, think of a kindergarten teacher, think of a CEO - how many of those were women in your head?) then we accept that the male is the right way to do things.

I think "team" does sound a bit David Brent but I'd prefer it to "guys" "lads" or "ladies". I'd even prefer "folk" although it slightly makes me want to gag.

Whenever the issue of gendered language crops up i mention that when the Uni in Dresden (I think) updated their handbooks they decided that since the majority of the faculty were women, and using a language that genders everything (and using the gender inclusive language is considered a bit clunky still) they replaced all the male pronouns with female ones. And unleashed a mighty shitstorm even though they made no announcement or anything.

In my studies i once mentioned in a tutor group that in a modern, recently rewritten course on International Relations that none of the referenced works were by women - to be jumped on my male fellow students as "we only need the best". (course chair agreed with me and it was updated again shortly after)

I still get people asking me if i was a type of secretary when i was in the army "surely they didn't give you a weapon/let you drive trucks/go on exercise…" and the desire to throat-punch is great.

The little things underpin the big things and are equally valid to call out.

It’s ridiculous to get upset about that.
‘Guys’ can be a collective as a whole make or female or meaning males. Depending on the context, you know which one is the real meaning.
I use ‘guys’ when talking to a group of female friends. I’m in my mid 20s.
How old are the women who got upset about it?

It’s common parlance but men would not put up with being called ladies just because we said it was gender neutral. It’s only ‘gender neutral’ one way round. Gender neutral toilets are men’s toilets that women have to put up with. Gender neutral terms are terms for men that women have to put up with. Ditto Chairman.

I wouldn’t object but only because I already know that men are the default.

Working my way through the thread so I haven’t finished yet

But

But technically she’s right because the fact that it is standard practice means that we see men as the norm

This sums up the ‘problem’ i would have with it

Doubt very much i would do anything in the situation outlined in the OP...except explain to anyone confused by the taking of offence WHY a woman might find it offensive

Seriously? Her reaction was pathetic and unprofessional imo. If she had an issue, raise it, sure, but in front of everyone and then flouncing out? Not okay.
I call my group of girl-friends guys quite often... no men at all there... it’s not playing down or writing off women, it’s just a group term to me.

Mind you, my manager sometimes says ‘cheers children’ or ‘thanks kids’ so what do I know? 😂

Yeah still agree with those commenting along the lines of binterested

Guys is on the list of words at work (pasted on the wall I kid you not) that we are not allowed to use. Some days I find it best not to speak at all.
It does sometimes slip out but thankfully the desk I work at don’t have sticks up their arses.

Is manager young? Teen Dd and her female friends use guys I thought it was from watching American tv.

Where I used to work our line manager used “Chaps and Chapesses” which used to make me cringe too.

That’s very 1980s. It’s what people said where I worked 30 odd years ago!

Do you work in the Public Sector by any chance?

Now I’m offended as I work in the public sector, so plan to walk off in a strop. I’m absolutely fine with guys though!

Guys is on the list of words at work (pasted on the wall I kid you not) that we are not allowed to use. Some days I find it best not to speak at all.

Seems like the best policy these days!

Some people spend their lives finding things to be upset and outraged at. It must be exhausting.

I’m in my 50’s and use guys for a group of people no matter what gender.

I had a member of staff who would refer to us all (male and female) as 'ok you bitches'. People would be swooning at their desks and signing off sick if she said this now!

can you imagine the reaction if he said gals instead of guys? All the men would be calling HR department complaining

I use guys to refer to everyone, even an all-female group. I’d not be in any way offended at being called guys collectively.

can you imagine the reaction if he said gals instead of guys? All the men would be calling HR department complaining
I think the women would be complaining more about being referred to as ‘gals’ judging by some of the threads on the feminism boards. People getting up in arms about people calling their friends ‘the girls’ god forbid

Some people spend their lives finding things to be upset and outraged at.

it is perfectly possible to be sick and tired and fed up of all the sexist bullshit that crops up without it taking up more than the minute it takes to take someone to one side and ask them not to do it. It's not always outrage and upset and frothing at the mouth and having a tantrum.

I don’t see it as sexist bullshit at all though. It is common usage by people of both sexes to groups of both sexes. What would you have preferred he said,Brefugee?