When my new DP moved in, my benefits were stopped as between us we were over the threshold. It was expected that he would pay towards my DC. Why isn't this the case when NRP moves in with someone?
This is what gets me. All my benefits stopped when my DP and I moved in together, as it was seen that he would contribute as a NRP to the children. And yet, my ex’s wife as an NRP isn’t regarded as someone who should contribute to our children. This doesn’t make any sense to me. Perhaps those that devise the system have never been in this situation themselves. There certainly are loopholes.
My ex husband never wanted to be a SAHP when we were together. All he had to do when we were married after his full day working was arrive home to a hot meal with us all and then bath the children whilst I cleaned up and washed up etc so he could have fun with them as he hadn’t seen them since 6.30am that day. He got to do bath time and story, which I though was lovely for him. Plus he was never the cleanest of people so it worked well. However, whenever I went upstairs to watch the children playing in the bath, he was on his phone sat on the floor not interacting with them. I observed this on every occasion. He often told me he found the children hard work.
My ex husband is in his mid 40s.
He had an operation in October but has been recovering since. The children said he is absolutely fine and can do everything. He shows now signs of illness. He isn’t taking medication. He has his other son who is 18 months full time with his wife at home. Can’t see how he is too unwell to have his own children who are actually very helpful rather than a hindrance. However they do see them as such.
I do think it is wrong that the children can’t kiss their brother. It took until they were 6 months old to be able to hug and hold him. They wouldn’t allow them round to see their baby sibling until he was 6 weeks old. We heard every excuse under the son.
I think it is sad, and the children feel the same, that they went on three holidays in the UK without them last year. The children feel excluded and not part of their lives.
Just because I don’t receive maintenance doesn’t mean their dad can’t see them. As their dad has often reminded me... I can’t force him to see them any more than he wants to, but he can force me if I reduce/stop contact. He has all the control and that’s the way they like it. They often cancel. If I say the children have a bit of a cough they can’t visit. Obviously I would t send them round with sickness bugs etc but if they would go to school then they are fine to go to their dads house.
Does anyone of there is anything out there for support for parents like me in this situation. Just to talk to, as I feel so sad and low for the children to go through this.