Apologies but I’ve name changed because I can’t risk this being linked with other posts. I’m not new. Been here for a year or two. I want to be able to be specific here because I’m in a dilemma and need advice so name change makes sense. This is going to be really long so thanks in advance for reading.
I am very worried about a child I know. He is 6 years old. He lives with his mother. He has been taken from his mother by the police twice in the recent past because she has been drunk with him and he has been in danger. Prior to this there were other referrals to social services to do with alcohol use and very low school attendance. The cases are then closed after a time. This last time the police found him alone and he was taken to live with his father. Social services were involved but didn’t take him into care because he had his father to look after him. His mother had been required to give up drinking and to attend AA meetings. After a couple of months he was returned to his mother and she said she had stopped drinking.
The child’s father had recounted numerous times that the child had witnessed his mother being violent and aggressive and to different people including the father. He described the little boy as being frightened and distressed. When mum was found intoxicated in the street with the child, the father was asked by the police about whether this had happened before. He lied and said it was the first time.
The child is underweight and has a health condition that does not seem to be dealt with responsibly.
Tonight I have been told that the mother has not stopped drinking and has attacked the father this evening after drinking all afternoon. Both parents were drinking with the child present. Mother was very drunk and attacked father and then took the child home on her own. The father is very upset about being attacked but doesn’t seem to be able to understand how awful this is for the helpless child.
I feel I must report her to social services because I am now aware of this. The father is very angry with me and does not want me to report it. He said he never wants to speak to me because of this attitude of mine! I have said it has to be reported and the little boy needs to be protected. The father doesn’t seem to have empathy. I’m very shaken by this argument with the father because I had no idea that the child was still suffering and also I’ve been called disloyal for suggesting that it must be reported.
I don’t know exactly where the child lives but this evening I’ve been walking about the streets close to where he lives in case he was wandering about in the storm. (He has wandered off previously).
I feel so sad for the child and guilty too. I have often offered to have him with us but this is turned down or ignored. I’m ashamed that I didn’t call the police and I feel complicit in the neglect for this.
I know In my heart that this child will be taken into care. I know that there are some carers who are not great. He probably should have been removed long ago. This is going to cause huge fallout with ramifications probably forever. But I can’t ignore this and I’m shocked that the father is doing nothing.
I’m repeating myself now. I have to report this don’t I? Would the School be a good starting place? Would they say who had reported? I really can’t sleep for worrying and I wish I could just go and get the child.
Any advice? Anyone had any similar experience?