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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To write a left of thanks to the school?

61 replies

SidsWife · 09/02/2020 20:09

About 2 hours ago I had a quite big, crying screaming breakdown which resulted in a panic attack.
My amazing, beautiful 5 year old sat me down on the floor and did “mindfulness” with me. It was a series a breathing exercises which she lead me through in such a professional way I couldn’t believe it was her. Turns out they do this at school every morning after register and if they ever feel overwhelmed at school they can volunteer to do it with their class mates. I’m just so in awe and so grateful. I feel like I should thank the school personally, or is that a bit too weird? I’ve never heard of this before but think it’s such an amazing thing.

OP posts:
BikeRunSki · 09/02/2020 20:13

You must absolutely thank them!! They probably struggled to justify the resource to do this in school. Showing them a real life example of it coming good would be amazing.

Confrontayshunme · 09/02/2020 20:13

Thank away! Schools never have any idea whether things are working for kids outside school so they would probably be really thrilled.

Stompythedinosaur · 09/02/2020 20:14

Can i gently suggest that if you have limited resources at the moment then focus on getting the help you need rather than on thanking the school. It's not good for your dc to be put in that situation and it's important to work out what support you need to avoid it in future.

redexpat · 09/02/2020 20:16

Your kid is awesome!

But why were you having a panic attack? Are you getting help? Flowers

BigPinkFlower · 09/02/2020 20:17

Maybe they could get you some help from a family support worker if they have one?

SidsWife · 09/02/2020 20:18

Everything’s just getting a bit on top of me atm.

I’ve just spoken to her about it again and she said it’s actually older kids from the school which come around and do it with them which is even more amazing. I’m definitely going to go in and ask who’s in charge of it all and thank them personally. I’ve never been prouder of my daughter.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 09/02/2020 20:19

She's a brave little girl. I'm surprised she didn't call an ambulance.

I'd be a bit careful what you tell the school to be honest, in case it prompts a safeguarding investigation.

Are you ok now OP?

ScarlettDarling · 09/02/2020 20:21

Your five year old sounds like an absolute little star. Definitely tell the school how impressed you are with the mindfulness and how helpful your daughter finds it.

On another note though op, hope you're ok. Sounds like you were under a lot of stress and you're obviously aware that it's not great for your five year old to be seeing you having breakdowns like this. Really hoping you have some other support you can call on...but keep doing the mindfulness with your daughter, it's great!

SidsWife · 09/02/2020 20:22

Literally anyone can have a panic attack. Not sure why I should be “seeking help”. Also definitely not a safeguarding issue.

OP posts:
newbingepisodes · 09/02/2020 20:22

I regularly thank places if they've done something good for me. In letter or in email.
I've worked in environment where you only ever get shit - retail, NHS etc etc so I think it's nice to send thank you notes if people do good things.

Duckduckduck123 · 09/02/2020 20:22

Definitely write to the school, they will really appreciate knowing that it is truly making a difference to their kids lives.
Oh and Flowers for both you and your amazing little one

SidsWife · 09/02/2020 20:23

I’m going to go into the school first thing Smile

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 09/02/2020 20:26

It might be seen as one though, so I'm just saying be prepared for the conversation to possibly take a different turn.

Having a 'big, crying screaming breakdown' and a 5 year old child having to deal with it, would be a cause for concern I'm sure.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 09/02/2020 20:29

I know it wasnt your fault but it's not a five year olds job to calm you down like that,its a lot of responsibility for such a young child.I hope you feel better soon.

B0bbin · 09/02/2020 20:29

I used to organise mindfulness sessions in a school and management team gave off impression it wasn't important/ rolled their eyes because it wasn't about maths or literacy targets.
So, i think the incredible skills you have just seen in your child definitely deserve mentioning. Hopefully the school will see how beneficial this can be and the PSHCE lead/ SENCO/ class teacher who initiated this will receive praise/ be chuffed it is working.
Also, really glad it helped you. I hope you remember this next time you feel down. Xxx

IgnoranceIsStrength · 09/02/2020 20:30

I agree with others who say you need to look at some professional help. I have never had a screaming fit and panic attack to the point that my 6 year old has had to help. There is no stigma in getting help.

Blueemeraldagain · 09/02/2020 20:30

I’m a teacher (although in secondary) and if a student told me their parent had had a huge crying screaming breakdown and they had had to deal with it all on their own that would 100% be a safeguarding concern. And that’s with students aged 11-16, let alone 5.
However, I would urge you not to see this being flagged up as a bad thing. It sounds like you could do with some extra support or even just a kind ear at the moment.

DontFundHate · 09/02/2020 20:31

I agree with a few of the other PPs like @Stompythedinosaur please seek support for yourself

gypsywater · 09/02/2020 20:32

It's so sad that a young child had to witness this :(

Stompythedinosaur · 09/02/2020 20:32

Literally anyone can have a panic attack. Not sure why I should be “seeking help”. Also definitely not a safeguarding issue.

Yes, anyone can have a panic attack. But if you have them, you need to make arrangements so your young child isn't having to take an inappropriate level of responsibility in supporting you. It's great that your dc is so mature, but it is damaging for dc to feel responsible for their caregivers emotions.

What's happened has happened, but I do think you need to make sure it doesn't happen again (and I do think the school will potentially look at it as a safeguarding issue - I would).

Oysterbabe · 09/02/2020 20:32

I wouldn't be advertising that happened either. It's not a situation a 5 year old should have to deal with, she must have been frightened.

80skid · 09/02/2020 20:32

Wow, what a fabulous thing for your daughter to be learning and how amazing for her to be able to help you.
I hope you're ok. I'm sure the person who coordinates the mindfulness will be made up to hear how they have benefitted you Thanks

SidsWife · 09/02/2020 20:32

I won’t say anything then.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 09/02/2020 20:34

However, I would urge you not to see this being flagged up as a bad thing. It sounds like you could do with some extra support or even just a kind ear at the moment.

Yes I was just thinking that and perhaps some support for the 5 year old because as mature as she sounds, it may have affected her quite deeply and perhaps she needs to talk to someone other than the OP.

Blueemeraldagain · 09/02/2020 20:34

Then I hope your DD does.

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