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Original poster

To write a left of thanks to the school?

61 replies

SidsWife · 09/02/2020 20:09

About 2 hours ago I had a quite big, crying screaming breakdown which resulted in a panic attack.
My amazing, beautiful 5 year old sat me down on the floor and did “mindfulness” with me. It was a series a breathing exercises which she lead me through in such a professional way I couldn’t believe it was her. Turns out they do this at school every morning after register and if they ever feel overwhelmed at school they can volunteer to do it with their class mates. I’m just so in awe and so grateful. I feel like I should thank the school personally, or is that a bit too weird? I’ve never heard of this before but think it’s such an amazing thing.

OP posts:
Schmoozer · 09/02/2020 20:36

Just to echo what previous people have said,
Your dd sounds amazing, but it’s not good for a 5 year old to have to manage her mum having a big crying screaming breakdown
That’s hard for other adults to experience let alone a child .....
I personally wouldn’t be commending the school, and bringing this to their attention !!
And I would recommend you get some mindfulness classes or ways to regulate your moods and emotions effectively without your little one having to do that for you

Stompythedinosaur · 09/02/2020 20:38

Struggling with mental health is 100% nothing to be ashamed of. Tell the school - they will be a support to your dc while they process what happened. But tell your GP too so you can access support too.

Tombliwho · 09/02/2020 20:40

Its fantastic that she was able to help but a 5 year old shouldn't have to. Yes anyone can have a panic attack but the screaming breakdown leading up to it..? It must have been really really frightening for her.
I wouldn't be telling the school but I would be seeking further support from the GP. This isn't "normal" behaviour and it does require some help.

Schmoozer · 09/02/2020 20:41

Yes, actually that’s a good point from Stompy, let school know so they can give your dd extra support, as she processes her experience.

OscarWildesCat · 09/02/2020 20:42

I have to agree with others here OP, fantastic what your Daughter did but she is 5 years old OP, a baby herself, she should NOT be having to do this for you and you need to make sure you are getting the help you need, a panic attack and a, "crying, screaming meltdown" are different things and absolutely not something your 5 year old (who's basically still a baby) should be dealing with from the person who should be protecting her.

Fr0g · 09/02/2020 20:46

I think it would be lovely of you write or email to thank them, but be subtle/economic with the truth about the "quite big, crying screaming breakdown which resulted in a panic attack" - ie just say things were 'getting on top of you' or similar.

putting it in writing means they can share it with the organiser, wave it at the next ofsted inspector, and that you won't feel any need to share.

I used to have a friend that taught primary school - she always did a meditation session with her class after lunch, when I asked her about the benefits, she said it gave her fifteen minutes peace and quiet Grin

ShesGotBetteDavisEyes · 09/02/2020 20:46

I wouldn’t say anything - agree with pp it could be misconstrued. Also I don’t think it’s normal to act that way in front of a 5 yr old - you maybe need to speak to your gp if this is a regular occurrence.

IndianaMoleWoman · 09/02/2020 20:48

Your daughter has done a wonderful thing, both she and the school should be commended. You can also ask the school for an Early Help Asessment, which would help you to access support and monitoring for both of you.

Original poster
SidsWife · 09/02/2020 20:51

I just think she deserves an award or something (they love giving awards for things at her school). And I want them to know how much help those sessions are doing. I’ll have to think of a way to do it without getting my kids taken from me.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 09/02/2020 20:53

Are you getting any professional help OP?

ScarletAnemone · 09/02/2020 20:57

Wow, your daughter sounds amazing. What a star she was.

Kittykat93 · 09/02/2020 20:58

Op there's no need to get all defensive, people are just concerned that you're at the point of screaming and breaking down and your 5 year old daughter having to witness and calm you down. No one is saying you'll have your kids taken away. It just must have been very frightening for your daughter to deal with.

comfysocks8516 · 09/02/2020 21:14

I agree your daughter will certainly need support after witnessing that, so I’d be telling the school so that she has someone outside the home to talk to

Blueemeraldagain · 09/02/2020 21:14

Jumping to the worst possible conclusion even though it’s extremely, extremely unlikely is another sign that you’re under mental strain at the moment. Catastrophizing will definitely lead to things getting on top of you again.

Winterwoollies · 09/02/2020 21:18

I say ignore the naysayers and thank the school. How wonderful that your little girl responded in that way; calmly, lovingly and with a little clear head. Panic attacks are so common, they’re not going to call social services on you.

People on here are so dramatic.

I hope you’re ok x

WorraLiberty · 09/02/2020 21:22

Winter, panic attacks are quite common, yes.

But having a "big, crying screaming breakdown which resulted in a panic attack", certainly isn't.

Who are you to say they're not going to pass the info to SS, that her 5 year old child had to deal with this alone?

Do you think they'll just smile and say thanks for the compliment?

WorraLiberty · 09/02/2020 21:23

Although to be fair, the school do need to know as her DD may need to speak to someone after dealing with it.

MintyMabel · 09/02/2020 21:29

Literally anyone can have a panic attack. Not sure why I should be “seeking help”

Sure they can. Collapsing in a heap in front of your 5 year old isn’t common, nor good for your child. It’s always a good idea to seek help if you experience what you did.

RedHelenB · 09/02/2020 21:30

Dd may well say something in school anyway so I dint know why people are encouraging you to hide it from school.

Babynumber2dueNov · 09/02/2020 21:30

As a teacher in a deprived area, who works with families of all kinds, including those with severe MH issues- can I just say that all those saying don’t draw attention to it are being ridiculous! Yes, it’s not your daughters responsibility OP, but just like if you broke your ankle, you’d be amazed if she could ring an ambulance. MH is the same as physical health and no more a danger for OP’s DD than seeing her having a mild asthma attack. If you’re suggesting not to praise this child through (unjust) fear of negative impact through outing a very minor MH issue than clearly you’re off of the problem PP’s!
Well done to your daughter and if I were her teacher I’d be beaming with pride!

roundtable · 09/02/2020 21:33

Seek help for you and your child op. She was great but that's a lot for a young child to go through.

Take care Flowers

WorraLiberty · 09/02/2020 21:36

All people are saying here is that the OP needs to be aware that the conversation may take a very different turn.

The OP is focusing on how wonderful her DD was in that situation (and she absolutely was) and also focusing on giving thanks to the school.

But she doesn't seem to be focusing on how this may have affected her child. However, the school probably will and that's something the OP needs to be prepared for.

Imknackeredzzz · 09/02/2020 21:41

Hi OP I hope your ok. Your daughter has been a star but you do need to look after her mental health

If I’d witnessed that as an adult I’d be somewhat traumatised by it, imagine her as a 5 year old and you as her primary care giver. She may well need to talk to someone about this. And yes please do speak to your GP so that this doesn’t happen again in front of your child.

But yes she’s amazing

Original poster
SidsWife · 09/02/2020 21:51

I’m not going to say anything. I’m just going treat her to something instead.

OP posts:
queenqueenqueen · 09/02/2020 21:55

Poor little girl and poor you. Please, please get the help it sounds like you need for DDs sake
💐

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