I guess I should ask for a handhold and some miracles if you have them

[EightiesHair]

I have been suffering symptoms of a yet undiagnosed condition that has been affecting most areas of my life since october/november. Been awaiting test results for weeks. Doctor receptionists have been very unhelpful and seem unwilling to schedule another appointment despite symptoms getting worse, me being physically exhausted from the slightest thing, and worried about the effect of my symptoms on my unborn baby (18 weeks). Iron tablets are having no effect on the anaemia I have as a result of my symptoms.

My 10m old is missing out on the fun, energetic mum I was before getting ill and I feel like a failure of a mum and housewife because I am slacking massively in housework too simply because I am physically too weak to maintain the house as I used to when all my energy is going to our very active baby. Some days I feel I will collapse. Even carrying him up the stairs to his room literally floors me when I get there.

2 weeks ago my DH and I were given 6 weeks notice to move out as our LLs are selling the house. EVERY promising lead we've had to renting another has come to nothing - DH has bad credit so it's bloody hard enough as it is (and the latest offer we had, LL asked for our references before we move in, next day texts DH to say sorry her cousin has broken up with her boyfriend so she's renting the house to her instead .)

There's more but I will stop listing all my rants. I'm just so worn out from our situation. This is our first family home together and our LLs had given us the impression we would be here for years and years if we wanted so this came as a shock. And my constant struggles with and anxiety about my health and also how it could affect my pregnancy are consuming me but I'm getting nowhere despite being told even if this particular test comes back negative they will still to investigate due to the severity of my symptoms (so why not refer me for a scan or whatever now rather than wait? The symptoms I have tick every box for cancer as well as Crohn's so I am nervous as hell and want it investigated sooner not later! And we can't afford private healthcare).

Sorry this is just a pity party rant. It's been going on for so long now I don't want to go on about it any more to my DH I try to be strong for him and our baby and always put on a brave face but I don't know why everything seems to be falling apart

hand hold and a hug, jog on hug objecters op needs this.
hope you feel better soon and that the rest will fall into place

I'm so sorry, no real advice but that's awful. Make sure you keep reaching out for friends and family for support, you'll be surprised who comes through for you.

In terms of your illness keep pushing. It goes against what we are taught to be nice and patient but especially as you're pregnant you need seen. Keep a detailed diary of sleep, symptoms and what food you're eating to help the process. There are apps that can help with that.

Best of luck and you're amazing

Crying here now thank you both so much for your kind words. I don't know why the voting is there

Sending you hugs. Try not to stress about it all, what’s for you won’t go by you. Things have a funny way of working themselves out. Regarding your health issues, I was diagnosed with ulcerative Colitis in 2017, I had not been well for a couple of years, Doctors were convinced it was endometriosis, waiting for this test and that one. Eventually they did a laparoscopy, when my symptoms got worse and I couldn’t go to work, was exhausted like you’re saying, impacted on family life with my DC’s reminding me of the times I used to be able to play with them! Anyway laparoscopy was clear, which made them jump into action and do an emergency colonoscopy which showed the Colitis.
If it is IBD you have then stress will make it worse so I guess in the situation you are in now that could make sense. If you can’t get another rental I advise you go to the council, they have an obligation to provide you with temporary accommodation (no B&B as you have a child and are pregnant) until they find you permanent accommodation. They can also sometimes help by paying a deposit for you and them creating a bond with LL saying they will pay for any damage you may cause etc. Please speak with local council or citizens advice regarding your eviction. Wishing you the best of luck

Wow you have been through a lot Smurfy I'm sorry to hear you suffered so long before a correct diagnosis was made! I hope your health is improving and the condition more manageable now. Thank you for your advice re the council. That very reassuring that there is emergency backup like that. My DH did make one call to the council and the lady told him she can't help us until we are homeless and then literally laughed. A bit insensitive on her part! But I'll definitely mention what you said to DH thank you.

So sorry you're going through this. No advice just a hand hold and 💐💐

Eightieshair I can’t believe how rude that woman was to your DH! Ask for an appointment with the homeless team at your local council, take the paperwork you have from you LL. they may well wait until the date of your eviction to give you somewhere but at least they will have notice. It happened to us about 5 years ago, we were helped to get a deposit together but we were also offered to be put in emergency accommodation, we didn’t take it as we could have been put anywhere within our local authority area and it really wasn’t possible with our DC’s school, DS was attending CAMHS at the time and school were working with them to support him and DSD was sitting her higher exams.
Don’t let them fob you off.
Hope you get this sorted and your health too. P.S when I was pregnant my iron levels were low, I couldn’t tolerate the tablets they gave me so I bought Spatone instead and mixed it with apple juice I found that quite good x

What are your Symptoms, OP?

Ask to have your thyroid checked. I developed post-partum thyroiditis after DD being born and I honestly thought I was dying! I would sleep for 10 hours and be so exhausted when I woke up, that I would cry and beg my DP not to go to work. Lots of other symptoms too (you haven't said what yours are), but the exhaustion and weakness were definitely the main ones. It took 5 months to get a diagnosis and, in that time, I convinced myself I had various forms of cancer/ brain tumour/ MS and developed health anxiety, because no one was taking me seriously and kept putting it down to me having a young baby. It usually rectified itself within a year of birth.

Sorry your struggling Eighties, DS was diagnosed with IBD in 2019, has your GP referred you to a Gastroenterologist? If not, you need to be pushing for a referral. Has GP tested inflammatory markers?

DS was referred by GP to Gastro, & at the same time he started him on a course of steroids, which eased the symptoms. Unfortunately then DS fell through the cracks in the system, & was told he would have to wait 6 months for a colonoscopy - it eventually got to the point where like you he was exhausted, not coping, & barely able to get out of bed, at the Drs on a weekly basis, & steroids stopped easing symptoms.

GP referred him to Gastro, via A&E/Urgent Care.

He spent 10 days in hospital, whilst they did what they, he was on IV steroids, & iron transfusion, tablets wouldn’t have been enough, colonoscopy done & IBD diagnosis & treatment started. Since then he’s been readmitted 3 times, once via A&E (at the weekend).

Don’t let the receptionists at the GP surgery fob you off, book an appointment, Someone also needs to be chasing up your blood test results. Do you have anyone who can go to the GP with you who can support you & help support your request to be referred urgently? My DS just didn’t have the energy to push it with anyone, so we did it together.

Do you think they are not seeing beyond the fact that you’re pregnant? I don’t know what your symptoms are, but just wondered if they’ve put it down to being pregnant & are thinking you’ll “get over it”

Good luck & keep pushing

Thank you all for your replies I appreciate them all. I only have a few minutes to reply didn't want to just vanish so to answer the questions of what my symptoms are they are the following:

Needing urgent loose bm suddenly multiple times through day and night. Sometimes bad stomach ache first sometimes little to no warning at all and I have to literally run to the loo or risk not getting there on time.

Blood with every bm, sometimes blood is all that actually comes out. Over the months the amount of blood has increased.

Very strange looking bms, and it seems like my food isn't being fully digested.

Anaemia which the iron tablets I was prescribed aren't touching.

Generally weak, exhausted and worn out all the time.

Had an appointment weeks ago, the GP literally spent 10 minutes looking up how to diagnose Crohn's in pregnancy (my brothers have it) then said I don't know how to diagnose Crohn's in pregnancy, sent me for just a blood test and asked me to see a different doctor for the results.

A week later a different doctor gave me blood results. Low potassium, anemia and 2 inflammatory markers. He got me to do a stool sample and said the original doctor should have done that. And since then (4 weeks ago) I have been ringing to find out results and they're still not in.

Sorry baby crying will pop back later

Aside from your stomach/bowel problems, have they tested for Glandular Fever?

Sorry your feeling so unwell. Hope you get help with that but on your housing situation, do not leave. Your landlord can give as much notice as the like but you don’t need to move out in 6 weeks. All they have done is say they intend to seek possession. You will need to leave at some point but it can be many months from now so you have more time to find something suitable. Talk to shelter.

Your landlord needs to give you two months notice in the UK.

@EightiesHair

Have they done a liver function test? Have you had any itching without rash? Do you have discomfort in your right side?

Oh, OP, I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time. Lots of unmumsnetty hugs for you and and . I do hope it gets sorted out soon. Can you contact PALS about the delays? I don't know if they deal with GPs surgeries, but there must be someone to complain to. The practice manager?

GP here, OP - it sounds like you need a colonoscopy fairly urgently, I’m not sure why your doctor hasn’t referred you yet. It can be done during pregnancy if it’s clinically indicated, and in your case it sounds like it is. Can you go back to your GP and ask specifically for this to be done?

Stop taking the iron tablets, they don’t work and they make your poo disgusting. Try Spatone sachets or floradix instead. Take it with orange juice - vitamin C helps with iron absorption and DO NOT have tea or coffee for an hour before or afterwards because it prevents iron absorption.

I suspect sorting this out will help with your fatigue- was always a problem for me in pregnancy until I discovered Spatone. You can actually drink it in the orange juice or Ribena - blackcurrents also good source of vitamin C.

@Bibijayne why do you ask about liver function test? You just described me - itchy legs particularly at night - no rash. Sore back which is located on lower right hand side not spine but further to the right - thought it was muscle? Wakes me through the night as it and after I lie down for a while.
Also tired alot.
As it happens gp did take bloods in Thursday and I'm pretty sure liver and kidney function were one of them but he didn't say why just that he was looking to rule everything out (testing levels of 10 different things)

Op have you have your b12 and folate levels checked? For some reason mine drop in pregnancy although they don't know why. My mum was the same.

Are you on an assured shorthold tenancy?

The notice period is 2 months and has to be served on the correct day too. (I’m a LL)
Get some advice from CAB or Shelter.

They're symptoms of intrahepatic cholestasis of pregnancy. The main bloods to check are bile acids for confirmation, but they usually need to be done in hospital. You can also get similar symptoms with gallstones and functional gallbladder disorder. The itching is caused by liber salts and acids not being processed and ending up in your blood stream. Very unpleasant. I ended up very sick in my third trimester but had been having symptoms from around 19 weeks.

Worth visiting the icpsupport.org website for info and advice.

17 months postpartum, I've also been diagnosed with a functional gallbladder fault which gives billiary collic symptoms (usually associated with gallstones but no stones). Meeting with a surgeon soon to see if I need my gallbladder or my bile duct valve muscles repaired.

Thanks for the info @Bibijayne

Had an appointment weeks ago, the GP literally spent 10 minutes looking up how to diagnose Crohn's in pregnancy (my brothers have it) then said I don't know how to diagnose Crohn's in pregnancy, sent me for just a blood test and asked me to see a different doctor for the results.

If he doesn’t know how to diagnose you, he really needs to refer you to someone who can Eighties.

The council CAN help you before you are homeless and they have a duty to do so. Your landlord can't throw you out with six weeks notice either. If you can't talk to a housing officer at the council then talk to CAB or shelter. The person you spoke to needs to be pulled up about her attitude.

The way it works at the council I worked for until recently. Is that you need to put in a housing application now. If you become homeless you then put in a homeless application and they would put you into temporary accommodation. I cannot stress enough that if you move out on the day the landlord has said, you will be making yourself intentionally homeless. You cannot move out until they take you to court and get an eviction order, even then you don't move out until the day the bailiffs are due to come. Make sure you take advice from your local council about this because most of them are really hot on it. They would not be obliged to give you temporary accommodation, if they decided you had made yourself intentionally homeless, but social services would be obliged to accommodate your child. You don't want that to happen.

Basically the time frame is that your landlord will have to serve a section 21. That gives you 8 weeks from when it is served. You ignore that and they apply for a court date, that probably takes about 4 weeks They get an eviction order which gives you 2 or 4 weeks to leave, you ignore that too. They then get a bailiff's warrant (another week) and on the day you are due to be physically evicted, you leave. The housing team at the council will advise you but the whole process takes about 15 weeks so you will not need to leave in four weeks time.