People who call themselves emetaphobes - are they for real?

[haychee]

I hadnt even heard of this until a thread i started which mentioned the word puke produced an effect on some that they coudnt even come on to mn until that thread had died. They couldnt even bare to read a word?!

Another thread running now, is talking about how some are affected by this phobia. Some of them i can see it is a real big problem and for them i do have sympathy. But some, who like me, do not like to see others being sick but are classing themselves as emetaphobic - this im finding difficult to comprehend. I dont like it at all - i avoid being too close to someone (eg kissing dh or dc if they have been ill in the last few days) for fear of exposing myself to a possible bug. But im not emetaphobic - please tell me im not.

I had hyperemesis during my first pregnancy, mixed with whatever that virus thing was that was lurking in hospitals at the time (not mrsa , the sickness one). I had months of hell with it, and then for 2 years afterwards I was terrified of being sick.

I was lucky, it was just myself I had the fear of, and could deal with my daughter if she was sick (with obsessive handwashing/dettol etc to do my utmost to stop me getting it). I don't know how or when it stopped, I know I my desire for another baby was fighting with my terror at it happening again, but whenever it happened, I somehow got to the stage of dislike rather than panic attack terror.

The 2 years of fear, panic attacks, sobbing in a corner at the idea that I might catch something were terrifying.

I am lucky, those on here aren't that lucky, and this thread implying that they are just weak and should get over themselves is sh*tty.

When i said i didnt want to put myself at risk of possibly catching anything, i meant, i wouldnt kiss my dh or dc if they had been sick within the last few days - i would however comfort them and help them in any other way i could

i am glad you gave up the nursing. you sound like you are disbeliving of people who have real phobias, i don't have any phobias but i understand and certainly respect that other people do.

To be fair Haychee, all you need to do is look up the definition of "phobia" and you will see something like

"an uncontrollable, irrational, and persistent fear of a specific object, situation, or activity"

So you might see your posts questioning and disputing it as an attack on phobias.

Did you ever consider that?

"I hadnt even heard of ematophobia until just recently on here. I havnt had a sheltered life so can only assume these people are an extreme minority."

"Unfortunatley, i do feel that some use these title too easily for really minor symptoms."

"But anyways, i was general surgical and didnt have much contact with phobias - far more of a mental health case imo!"

You can accuse me of 'attacking' if you want haychee, but I am amazed at how quickly you have become an expert on the subject .

From never having heard of it, to knowing who is faking, yet still not understanding that anyone can be phobic about anything, it really doesn't matter which ward of the hospital they pop up in! All that in one night. Well done.

Good grief.

Im not implying they are all weak and should get a grip. Im saying i have little knowledge. Im saying i dont agree with some who call themselves phobic. Im saying i do have huge sympathy for those whose lives are revolved around the phobia.

Please read thoroughly before posting.

Likewise Haychee.

Goodnight

you don't sound like you have any sympathy to me, i might be reading you wrong.
to me it does read very much like you feel those affected are just being weak or making it up

goodnight weinestein

"I think what im trying to say is that some are using these titles (ematophobia or any phobia) to describe just a little weakness in their ability to cope with certain things."

"I was trying to show how times have changed, how these days people are using these types of abels to exscuse themselves from things they would rather not do."

"Those who just dont like certain things and would rather avoid them just need to deal with it"

All of that came across to me as being weak and needing to get over it.

You can't tell how someone else feels about something! Who is the same as you and who is different. You'd get on well with the midwife who told me I just can't cope with pain - it turned out my "early, gentle contractions" were doing a hell of a lot and I was suddenly ready to push - surprisingly, yes, they did hurt like hell.

Damn... just typed and lost a long message. Ah well... that'll be because I am weak and pathetic, then!

I have described myself as emetophobic, though maybe, by haychee's standards, I don't 'deserve' the term. I use the term as a convenient shorthand (on here, where I know there are people who do understand, not in everyday life, where, rather, I try to avoid talking about it) for the feelings that puke induces in me. The feelings are very real and physical. They are not 'just in my mind' or what I would call a 'normal' distaste (because, of course, no-one actually likes sick).

I hate myself for the way that I behave when my dds are sick. I loathe the fact that I feel a physical revulsion for them and, yes, want to run away. It breaks my heart to remember a time when my dd was crying for me to hold her, and I just couldn't do it. I feel like - and maybe am - the worst mother in the world. This (and not just pathetic self-pity... when it was just me that was affected I just coped with it as best I could) has made me seek counselling to try to deal with the problem. The counselling hasn't helped much, but it has helped a bit, and I hope to continue to improve. (I have, recently, coped - sort of - with one dd being sick when there was no-one else around to help, so maybe I will get there in the end.)

To be honest, haychee, I don't really mind if you think that I am 'just weak'. You're probably right. But I swear that if I could find a way to 'pull myself together' and just get on with this and cope with it, I would, I really really would.

Im no expert. Just how i feel - having only really read / heard about it here.

I dont like spiders - i hate them but im not arachnaphobic.

I dont like dealing with sick and would definitely rather someone else would do it for me and avoid situations wherei could become sick - but im not ematophobic.

Where is the line where on one side its just a fear and on the other its truly extreme and life dominating?

I think that is the point - no one person can say where the line is. It is down to the individual to decide and for others to respect their judgement.

God i wish i hadnt used the word "weak"

Thats what i have trouble with, respecting their judgement! Totally.

Really haychee? I don't think anyone has noticed, don't worry.

I dont respect alot of other peoples judgements alot of the time come to think of it. Should i??

StG

Sorry, just had to add, that, obviously the feelings are 'in my mind' because the way that I react is clearly excessive in relation to the actual 'risk' involved. What I meant was that they manifest themselves in real physical reactions.

Oh, and I am not as bad as some people I've spoken to on here. I can eat out, my diet isn't limited by this, I drink alcohol (though admittedly in small quantities), and I can read the word (though oddly I have a bit of a problem if I have to read the word for those animals that are like mice but a bit bigger ).

Anyway, I hope this thread has broadened your mind a bit.

I mean, i could quite easily say i was ematophobic and then i could more easily avoid those events of cleaning it up or comforting someone during an episode. But i have to deal with it in my house because im virtually unaided (have a dp but is as helpful as a chocolate teapot). I have to do things i dont want to, things i might find scary - i have no choice.

"Here we go, the usual mn stuff. Attack!"

Have you no sense of irony?

Its truly awful for you ellebell, thankyou for being patient with me. Would you be upset if you got talking to someone who called themself ematophobic when really what they describe is verging on a normal reponse. I think i would if i suffered as much as you and they are going on about how awful it is for them - when its nothing in comparison to how you suffer?

Lol @ MrsJC.

Quite

Must go to bed, put dc to bed earlier than usual expecting themup earlier now

Actually (I am taking at face value now your statement that you really want to try to understand this), I think that it's helpful to have to deal with things that scare you. I am scared of flying. I am not phobic about it, but I really really don't like it (it makes me horribly stressed and I have to close my eyes for take-off and landing). But what I find is that once I've done it once, I find it easier to do it again (e.g. the return journey is always less scary than the journey out somehow). If, for some reason, I had to fly every week, I think that in time I'd get used to it and would get over my fear (perhaps not actually like flying, but at least not worry about it). I am hoping that, with real effort, I may come to get over my fear of puke like that. But my reactions to someone throwing up near me (or even the thought of it) are so much more extreme than my reactions to flying. I can now force myself to be near my dds if they are sick and I have held my dd's hair out of the way when she was throwing up once. However, it is making me feel queasy just writing this and I am a bit shaky just explaining this to you; whereas when I talk about being scared of flying it doesn't bother me at all - only the actual fact of being on a plane scares me. I think that's where the dividing line is between just not liking something or a 'normal' fear and a phobia. With a phobia, the reactions are extreme and (as you said right at the beginning) incomprehensible to someone who doesn't share the phobia (you said 'incredible', but I think 'incomprehensible' is a better word - you believe that the phobia exists, but you don't understand it).

By the way (lest anyone take me for a wuss ) can I just add that I am fine with needles (so much so that, when I spent some time in hospital when pg with dd1, they were sending student midwives in to practise taking blood from me) and I have given birth without pain relief.