To ask your DP’s most annoying trait

[Wonderland18]

Mines is more he is a culprit of my pet hate of noisy chewers.

He also always eats his cereal with a tiny teaspoon and it’s just not right to me at all,

Do your dp’s have frustrating traits? AIBU to ask you to share?

Snoring.

Procrastinating. He will always do something, but leaves it until the very last possible second, which drives me insane. If I say “are you going to do X” it gets his back up and makes him leave it even longer. When we go out, it’s him who is faffing at the time we should have left.

Overall he’s a good one, even if some nights I lie awake plotting to kill him because he sounds like a digger.

Just remembered because it is happening now - NEVER shuts his face. Even when he can see I'm reading, listening to the radio or following something on TV, he just yammers away. I have tried pointedly ignoring him, politely pointing out that I'm reading/listening to something, blatantly telling him to shut up. Nothing works. He has talked the whole time I've been typing this. I think I'm going mad!

Leaving the downstairs toilet seat & lid up. I constantly put I'd down when I walk past and 10 minutes later it's up again! I've even sent him info on how unhygienic it is but no change.
Not putting the nappies in the bin properly so the nappy bin lid stays open and the whole nursery then stinks!
Telling me that I nag him when I repeatedly ask him to stop doing these two things!

Does anyone else keep asking them to stop with the annoying habits or am I actually being a nag?

Snoring. Sleeping with his knees in the air (legs bend or one crossing the other) and his arms above his head. This is prime snoring position and it does my head in.
Eating his bogies and lying about it 🤢
Shiting immediately after he’s eaten - even if we’re still eating off he trots for his umpteenth shite of the day. Shitting at least five times a day for 20+ minutes at a time (and no he’s not masturbating as the stench of shite fills our teeny wee house)

That he makes out to all and sundry that he never has any time to do his work or anything for him because the kids and I take up ALL of his time.

The reality is that he is a workaholic who speaks to his kids about 10 minutes a day M-F and then sees them for about 5 hours for the WHOLE weekend. I can't remember the last time that he last cooked them a meal or put them to bed.

Like, if he's away on a work trip for 3 days over the weekend, he'll say to me. "Sorry, I'm not going to be around next weekend. I know it's hard on you having to deal with the kids when I'm away" and I'm thinking "actually, it'll make fuck all difference as we never really see you anyway. The kids really won't notice!" I do EVERYTHING for those kids, talking to them, playing with them, cooking, cleaning the whole house, laundry, school paperwork, birthdays, Christmas, playdates, holiday activities, school runs, school events, running them to their 5-6 clubs a week including the 3 days DP is at home. Plus working 20 hours a week during school hours. 2 kids with SEN so no picnic.

The worst bit is that he genuinely seems to think he spends time with us!

On the 3 days he is home, he's locked away in his office working.

Sniffing - all of a sudden a bout of allergies take over and all he does is fucking sniff. Reckons he doesn't know how to blow his nose properly (he is pathetic at it to be honest).
My mum's partner also does it constantly and she's ready to murder him after 5yrs of it.

Singing the first line of a song just before the actual singer does, kind of like proving how well he knows the song! Both me and DD15 get so annoyed...but I know we're getting off lightly compared to some!

Suddenly remembering he has to do something as the film / series starts.. Then saying ‘oh don’t worry about pausing.. Then returning and asking what’s happened..

Lip smacking and loudly chewing every, single, meal..

Sticking his tongue right out into every cup of tea before taking a sip like a LIZARD! 🙄

Leaving manky dishwater in sink for hours / overnight with washing up cloths festering in there - so they absolutely stink - then moaning about wastage when I have to bin them because duuuuh!

Never replacing anything he’s broken, but profusely promising to replace it - every - single - time!

Winding the kids up right before bed so it’s much harder to get them to go to bed as they’re all whipped up.

Being inconsistent with kids - youngest DD whinges all the time to get her own way and he almost always gives in and she’s learnt it works.. So I’ve become the bad guy for saying no and sticking to it.. So frustrating

Today I would say breathing, but that's just because I had a procedure today and am all post-anesthetic miserable and nothing is right.
Most days I would say he is really shit at loading the dishwasher properly and hangs the washing out all wrong.

He only butters one side of the bread when making a sandwich with two slices. It means it's a crap dry sandwich that doesn't hold together. Drives me mad.

Hanging washing inside on a lovely summer day when the rotary line is up.
Dramatic sneezing.
Putting the heating on before a bloody jumper.
Refusing to put a jumper or coat on and moaning that he's cold.
Not cleaning his teeth daily, or preferably, twice daily 🤢
Smoking in the car despite asking him not to.
Leaving DIY jobs half done.

This is easy as he currently has a cold so I'm being frequently reminded.

He won't get a tissue until it's the last possible moment.

Spend as long as he can sniffing or squelching his nose.

WTF man?! There's a box of tissues right there!! Just blow your fucking nose.

Mine turns Jewish sometimes. If he’s done a particularly big sneeze for example, he’ll then add on to the end “oi oi oi” in a Jewish accent! He’s not Jewish! It really F’s me off. He’ll also constantly say “ooooh we’re getting old” after every single ache or pain. So getting off the sofa and you’ve sat there too long and your arm has gone numb...he’ll get up and stretch it out and say “oooh I’m getting old” WTF? Stop stating the obvious. Everybody’s getting old and nobody cares!! Arghhhh

in a Jewish accent!

'Jewish' isn't an accent...

His belief that there's a magic fairy who empties the drainage board.

• If ever he decides to 'help' me by washing dishes, he'll leave the stuff on it, for said fairy to clear, and instead, play a perverted game of Jenga where the aim is to balance dishes and pans 2 foot high..

Ffs.

You probably mean Yiddish poop. We're a race and religion, we don't have a uniform accent.

He tells me about his dreams. I DON’T CARE 🤦‍♀️😤🤯🤬 In my head i’m going ‘la la la’ whilst he tells me thrilling tales of being a unicorn on a bike....

Another loud sneezer here. And when he drinks his coffee, he slurps, swooshes it in his mouth like mouthwash, before the loudest swallows. I honestly can't bear to listen to him eat, I have to secretly put my fingers in my ears.

Explosively loud sneezing!

He says he ‘can’t’ sneeze without yelling his head off at the same time.

My cant breath through his nose (a medical thing) and honestly it drives me potty

This!! I had a knife in my hand preparing a meal and he was stood behind me like Darth Vadar and for a split second I nearly stabbed him.

Extreme I know.

Sticking his tongue right out into every cup of tea before taking a sip like a LIZARD

Oh holy shit I’d be planning his death!

He is pernickety - he likes things like books perfectly arranged on the shelves. His drawers and wardrobes are organised to perfection. We have the cleaniest, tidiest bins and recycling systems.

If we are going out and I am driving he gets in the car with his shoelaces undone and there is then a faff and delay while he ties them.

The envelopes. Every single day he notes all his spends on an envelope. These are kept in elastic bands in one of his drawers. Every Sunday night he compares the previous weeks spends to spends 7 years ago before he throws that weekly batch away. There is usually a running commentary. I have mentioned on several occasions that this could be accomplished on an excel spreadsheet.

His notebook of words. If he happens across a new word he will note it with a definition in a little moleskin.

His socks must be folded, his boxers pressed and folded into 4 with the waisbands alternating in the pile so it is an even pile, real cotton hankies neatly pressed and perfectly folded into squares with crisp creases and 90° angles. I have had to coach cleaners to get this right.

He is a workaholic.

I do love him dearly.

I’m totally guilty of the getting into the car without tying my shoelaces.. DP hates it..

Lizard tonguing tea has made me chuckle 🙈