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Original poster

Phil Schofield coming out as gay...

77 replies

girlie123 · 07/02/2020 10:08

Is anyone else really shocked - I had no idea whatsoever, not that I should have I don't know the man personally or anything.
It must have been so hard for him and his family and I take my hat off to them all as from the piece he has written it sounds like they are handling it like mature adults, a lot of tears and heartache but also a lot of love and support.

OP posts:

PrincessHoneysuckle · 07/02/2020 10:38

His wife and kids would have been told long before it became public.
I think they might continue living together they seem to love each other very much.

sarahjconnor · 07/02/2020 10:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PineappleDanish · 07/02/2020 10:39

it pisses me off no end when people do what he has now done, saying the family are being supportive etc,

Indeed. Now that he's released that statement his wife. daughters, members of the extended family aren't going to be able to make a statement saying that they're not supportive, because that would be seen as homophobic. They have to put up, shut up and pretend it's all lovely.

RufustheLanglovingreindeer · 07/02/2020 10:39

Im not 100% sure where i sit on the ‘brave’ bit

But i dont think say it knowing what this will do to his family is very brave is brave at all

BercowsFlyingFlamingo · 07/02/2020 10:40

Not sure why this is newsworthy. Lots of people are gay. It's none of my business. My thoughts are with his wife and family though.

mencken · 07/02/2020 10:40

it isn't that long ago that being gay would really wreck a showbiz career - George Michael was just one example. And it wasn't acceptable in kids TV - anyone remember Michael Sundin from Blue Peter?

I would say that it is only in the last 15 years that it hasn't mattered.

no excuse for lying to the wife - IF that is what he has done, we don't know. Hope not...

Chickydoo · 07/02/2020 10:41

That poor woman. She's the brave, strong one. PS can gloat & be happy & relived he is 'out' she on the other hand has to pick up the pieces, deal with her own emotional fall out & start again. I hope she is ok.

Hagbeth · 07/02/2020 10:42

I would be devastated. 27 years of living a lie.What now? Will she face the future and old age alone?

LittleDragonGirl · 07/02/2020 10:42

More shocked to find out hes been married for almost thirty years with kids then that hes gay

HouseworkAvoider10 · 07/02/2020 10:42

………………..surprising nobody.
This has been floating around for a looooooong time.

more power to him.

The80sweregreat · 07/02/2020 10:44

I'm so pleased that people have mentioned his wife and support for her as she will be needing it just as much as him. If not more.
Especially if his been indiscreet or things start to emerge from a 'source' ; once these stories break there is always a flurry of things being leaked. I may be wrong in this case, but it tends to go that way historically.
I hope his wife has a strong family around her. She is going to need them.

cavabiensepasser · 07/02/2020 10:45

Let's gather round and celebrate how he used and exploited a woman for decades, shall we?

Abouttimemum · 07/02/2020 10:45

I feel so sorry for his wife. It’s not brave to lie to someone for 27 years.

Noconceptofnormal · 07/02/2020 10:45

We don't know what had actually happened.

It is perfectly plausible that his wife had known about this for years but because of their platonic love for each other they have been happy to stay married. PS is a very very wealthy man and so his wife may have just felt happy to continue living a life of luxury. If that's what has happened it's not so bad.

I suspect this has been the status quo for a while but he's had to come out due to the tabloids getting hold of a story.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 07/02/2020 10:45

I hope his wife has the support she needs at a time when she is expected by society to be happy for him.

This - even if she knew, and his daughters knew, this is publicly humiliating them in a huge way.

I'm not surprised at all - I always thought he was. But I also think he's a nasty, spiteful individual who is coming out now because it suits him to do so - he's been getting some bad press lately, and wants to pull the rug from under. I suspect he isn't the nice guy people think he is.

There is no reason why he couldn't have been open about his sexuality long ago. He's in the entertainments industry, and it is a very accepting arena when it comes to sexuality.

Had he been a lumberjack, maybe it would have been different . . .

GiveHerHellFromUs · 07/02/2020 10:46

She spent however many years with someone who didn't love her.

I don't think that's true. I think he loves her very much, just not in the way she loves him.

HamsterInSpecs · 07/02/2020 10:46

As somebody who has been through this, it is utterly heartbreaking. It completely tore my family unit to shreds. I wouldn’t be surprised if he has been having sex with men behind her back for a long time. There are many married men that openly state on gay hook up/dating sites and apps that they are married and family life is just a cover up. The effect it has on immediate family members can be devastating. I found it traumatic in my case, and many feelings are still with me 7 years down the line. The constant questions of ‘what if’ ‘how’ ‘why’ still plague me to this day. I can no longer trust. My sympathies are with his wife and daughters.

Stillfunny · 07/02/2020 10:46

If this was in the Relationships threads , I don't think he would be thought of as brave.
I know that we do not know how aware his wife was., although he seems to imply it was recently that he told his family.
So , then , for quite a few years he has been deceiving his wife and living a lie . And I wonder about the physical side of their marriage. Has he been unfaithful ?
He didn't have to come as gay to have done the honourable thing and leave the marriage.

My sympathies are all with his wife. I feel so bad for her. I know that I would be thinking that my long marriage is now a mockery. Due to his selfishness.

Bit harsh, I guess. But I am leaving it there.

melissa1215 · 07/02/2020 10:46

I had no idea, I feel so sad for his wife

Disfordarkchocolate · 07/02/2020 10:46

I'm a bit torn here. I don't think it's brave if we suddenly find out he is about to be outed or a new partner suddenly appears. That to me shows he has been deceiving people.

If he's been struggling with this and has always been honest with his wife about this, then it's is brave.

There is nothing brave about infidelity, no matter what.

NoSauce · 07/02/2020 10:46

Hard for his wife. I’m guessing she’s known a long time from what he said on the interview.

MNHQ

HebeMumsnet · 07/02/2020 10:48

Morning, everyone!

We've got several threads running on this story at the moment. Obviously people want to talk about it but we just want to have a tidy up and keep things largely to one or two main threads.

We're going to close this thread to new posts in a moment but if anyone would like to continue the conversation do pop over to Chat where this thread is running. There's also one over in Telly Addicts, if you'd prefer.

cavabiensepasser · 07/02/2020 10:48

@GiveHerHellFromUs she could have had a life with a man who did love her in the same way she loved him. He's a coward.

Sickofrain · 07/02/2020 10:48

In as much as I'd ever thought about it (hardly at all), I'd always assumed he was gay. I had no idea he was married and had kids. I hope his wife and kids are getting the support and privacy they need.

AllHeart1 · 07/02/2020 10:48

If he was gay he shouldn’t have got married. IMHO.

it’s very sad that people live for years. Not being able to reveal that they’re gay, but I don’t think that it’s ok to marry someone for the show, have children with them, lead them to believe you are a couple in love and then shatter their world with something you have known all your life.

When coming out you are responsible to no-one else but you if that’s just how you’ve always felt. But if you bring others into your life under false pretences then yes, you are responsible for the hurt you have caused those people if you then come out.

It’s no different to having an affair IMO.

If someone posted that they’d told their partner they’d always wanted to sleep with other men/women (depending on the sex) then nobody would be supportive of that and would be telling the partner to ltb.

But someone comes out and says that they’ve always wanted to sleep with others of the same sex and suddenly we must support them and hope the family are loving and supportive? Why?

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