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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to buy a dish washer?

38 replies

BadRuby · 07/02/2020 10:03

DP is the designated washer upper in this house but he will leave the sink piled up for days before he gets around to doing anything about it.

We refitted our kitchen and I insisted on a dishwasher. It's only a small slimline one.

DP says I am replacing him Confused and is sort of upset. I pointed out that we have some things that need hand washing and he cheered up a bit at that.

I can't quite believe I'm having these conversations with him. I thought he was winding me up at first but he seems to genuinely want to wash up.

Was I being unreasonable to buy a dishwasher and effectively make DP redundant?

OP posts:
Vulpine · 07/02/2020 10:04

Of course you should get a dish washer

misskatamari · 07/02/2020 10:04

If he wants to wash up, he should do it in a timely manner then! I’d snap if we had washing up piling up for days!

PurpleDaisies · 07/02/2020 10:05

He’ll get over it. Get a dishwasher!

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 07/02/2020 10:06

Nope, get a dishwasher. He'll get over it.

crosspelican · 07/02/2020 10:08

Jesus Christ. YADNBU.

bellinisurge · 07/02/2020 10:09

I thought they were a poncy lazyarse waste of money. Until I stayed somewhere self catering once that had one. I was an idiot. They are awesome.

ItchySeveredFoot · 07/02/2020 10:09

He's being ridiculous. Get a dishwasher. Give him another job.

Waspnest · 07/02/2020 10:12

Maybe assign him another job like cleaning the toilet? (if he doesn't already do it) I'd be annoyed about the washing up piling up, does he know it annoys you?

The more I read MN the more I realise I will never understand male psychology, men seem to express their feelings (insecurity/anger/jealousy etc.) in such weird ways.

k1233 · 07/02/2020 10:13

He can still load and unload the dishwasher - nothing stopping him...

Original poster
BadRuby · 07/02/2020 10:16

Waspnest

Maybe assign him another job like cleaning the toilet?

Excellent idea Grin

I'd be annoyed about the washing up piling up, does he know it annoys you?

Yeah it's one of the few things we argue about. Occasionally I'll snap and start washing up myself and he will come and take over.

OP posts:
NoRegrets123 · 07/02/2020 10:24

I had the exact same issue with DH. It wasn't so much that he would leave dishes around though for ages before washing them - but he was really terrible at doing the washing up and I was always finding bits of food on the supposedly clean plates Envy

He's happy now though as we have a baby and knows it saves loads of time.

Jeleste · 07/02/2020 10:33

I think assigning a new job to him is a great suggestion. Toilet cleaning would also be my first pick.

SunshineAngel · 07/02/2020 10:41

Replacing him? My DP and DSS (they share the job) would be thrilled if someone replaced them in this respect!

If he doesn't want to be "replaced", tell him to clean them every day instead of leaving them to pile up. We're in a similar situation, except that we have nowhere to put a dishwasher unfortunately.

TheNoodlesIncident · 07/02/2020 11:01

Well, they still need loading and unloading. He can do that as one of "his" jobs. And having a mini version, you'll find that sometimes you can't fit all in, especially as some items are top rack only. Top rack space is premium! So he might have to handwash a few things anyway.

I find it annoying that we have a dishwasher and sometimes used items aren't put inside it, neatly out of sight. Words are said about that, it's daft having a device that stores dirty dishes prior to washing them and not taking advantage of that.

You'll love having a dishwasher OP, even the slimline ones can fit oven racks Smile

Urkiddingright · 07/02/2020 11:06

Replacing him with a dishwasher Grin, that’s hilarious.

MereDintofPandiculation · 07/02/2020 11:11

I feel the same about the sat nav...

AriadnesFilament · 07/02/2020 11:12

WTF?!

RedRiverShore · 07/02/2020 11:18

He will probably still be able to do the saucepans as sometimes it’s hard to fit them in a slimline One and I sometimes have to do an extra wash

Mercedes519 · 07/02/2020 11:20

He can do what my dad does...washes it and then puts in the dishwasher!

As a PP has said they still need loading and unloading and you can let him be as precise as he wants to be with that Grin

LakieLady · 07/02/2020 11:20

He can have the job of loading and unloading it.

And if that's not good enough, he can just use it as a cupboard to keep dirty dishes in, get them out again and wash them by hand. Grin

SuperMeerkat · 07/02/2020 11:22

Love ours so much 💖💖 I didn’t even want one as was happy with extra cupboard space when we refitted the kitchen but DH was keen. Now I couldn’t imagine being without it. You must have one, i’m telling you!!

LightDrizzle · 07/02/2020 11:25

I wouldn’t be without one. I’m sure I waste more water hand washing than by using the dishwasher. It does it all in one go.

DarklyDreamingDexter · 07/02/2020 11:34

Once you get one, you’ll never look back! They don’t load or unload themselves so that’s a job he can do. If it cheers him up there’s always extra pots and pans that won’t fit in or need extra scrubbing!

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 07/02/2020 11:55

If he’s anything like my dh (we’ve had a dishwasher for decades) he’ll look on the loading of it as a peculiarly male art form, and will insist on reloading to his scientific method in order to cram as much as possible in, if you’ve had the temerity to attempt it first.

If he will also see to the unloading/putting away, that’s a bonus.

redwoodmazza · 07/02/2020 11:58

I used to think it was dreadful when the washing machine broke down...
BUT when the dishwasher did - it was AWFUL!!!