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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not allowed to watch pre school acrobatics

56 replies

Howdidido · 06/02/2020 15:28

Took DD to a new trail acrobatics class for 3 and 4 year olds. Was a bit confused when I was shown to a tiny room. Turns out they expected me to wait in this weird ante room while DD went to the class on her own.
Was in a village hall but run by a dance school I could only find on Facebook. There were only 3 kids in the class. The other two looked like they attend other dance classes with the school.
I said I'd rather watch and very reluctantly they said I could but I'd have to leave after 10 minutes. In the end I stayed for the whole class. DD (and other kids) weren't distracted at all by me. In fact the teacher was the one who asked me if I thought they were doing well. So i answered "amazing" and went back to sitting quietly trying not to be involved at all. The teacher at the end said she'd have to ask her boss if I could stay. I explained it's my one day with DD and I'd want to watch if we came back. Her boss approached me at the end and said they dont let anyone watch. So I said we wouldn't be able to come back sadly. Cos DD loved it.

It's quite a touchy class- e.g. with the teacher holding their hips at times
Is it weird? It feels off to me. Plus I want to see what shes doing. She does other classes with her dad and hes allowed to watch those..

OP posts:
TriangularRatbag · 06/02/2020 17:08

Adults wanting sit watching children dancing/doing acrobatics seems a bit "off" to me to be honest.

TheyDoDoThat · 06/02/2020 17:52

This seems quite normal. Little kids won’t listen and will run off to their parents at any opportunity. They are learning discipline and focus within dance/acrobatics which is vital so they try to drum it as early as possible.

Plus parents chat to each other or try to offer encouragement often in a very competitive way.

TheyDoDoThat · 06/02/2020 17:52

This seems quite normal. Little kids won’t listen and will run off to their parents at any opportunity. They are learning discipline and focus within dance/acrobatics which is vital so they try to drum it as early as possible.

Plus parents chat to each other or try to offer encouragement often in a very competitive way.

Howdidido · 06/02/2020 17:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Howdidido · 06/02/2020 17:59

Good idea to find a proper gymnastics class. Will do that.
Thanks
I wonder why it's just dance classes that have this rule. I haven't seen it anywhere else.
I dont want to do admin on my one day with DD. I want to spend it with her!
My DD would and did listen. She would only come to me if very upset. But I know not all kids would..
@TriangularRatbag why is it weird to want to watch your kid do something they enjoy?

OP posts:
TheyDoDoThat · 06/02/2020 17:59

Perfectly normal. They do this for a number of reasons. One to instil discipline and focus early on.
Two because endless chatting from parents is distracting.
Three because some can over encourage or be very competitive.

I don’t get the I paid for this comments. Surely you paid for the child to experience the sport or dance. There will be shows for parents to watch.

Original poster
Howdidido · 06/02/2020 17:59

Good idea to find a proper gymnastics class. Will do that.
Thanks
I wonder why it's just dance classes that have this rule. I haven't seen it anywhere else.
I dont want to do admin on my one day with DD. I want to spend it with her!
My DD would and did listen. She would only come to me if very upset. But I know not all kids would..
@TriangularRatbag why is it weird to want to watch your kid do something they enjoy?

OP posts:
TheyDoDoThat · 06/02/2020 18:03

Perfectly normal. They do this for a number of reasons. One to instil discipline and focus early on.
Two because endless chatting from parents is distracting.
Three because some can over encourage or be very competitive.

I don’t get the I paid for this comments. Surely you paid for the child to experience the sport or dance. There will be shows for parents to watch.

reginafelangee · 06/02/2020 18:06

My kids have done loads of activities and nearly all expect parents to leave from age 3.

BertieDrapper · 06/02/2020 18:08

My DDs done a gymnastics from around 2 years old, the baby classes the parents stayed but once they moved up to the older group around 3 years old, the parents went into a side room. They do a watching week just before the end of term.
I was fine with it but only because I knew the staff and was comfortable that she would be ok without me.
Not sure id do it with teachers etc I'd never met at that age though

APurpleSquirrel · 06/02/2020 18:14

When DD did ballet from 18months onwards they were in the studio & we parents in the room next door. The windows would often be covered as parents staring in could be distracting to the children & they'd get self conscious etc.
Now DD (5) does gymnastics & no parents are allowed in the gym but we can see in through the windows.
It's normal if disconcerting at first.

Cremebrule · 06/02/2020 18:16

I think you’re being a bit unreasonable. It’s quite normal for classes for them to go in independently. Both of the gymnastics classes near me are independent for 3 year olds but there is a viewing gallery and parents are expected to stay in case of toilet trips, same for pre-school swimming.

Cremebrule · 06/02/2020 18:17

I think you’re being a bit unreasonable. It’s quite normal for classes for them to go in independently. Both of the gymnastics classes near me are independent for 3 year olds but there is a viewing gallery and parents are expected to stay in case of toilet trips, same for pre-school swimming.

SimonJT · 06/02/2020 18:18

My son recently started ballet, I spoke to a few local places, none allowed parents to watch. He does his hour of ballet on a Tuesday, I get to do an hour in the gym next door. Win win for both of us.

SimonJT · 06/02/2020 18:19

My son recently started ballet, I spoke to a few local places, none allowed parents to watch. He does his hour of ballet on a Tuesday, I get to do an hour in the gym next door. Win win for both of us.

SimonJT · 06/02/2020 18:24

My son recently started ballet, I spoke to a few local places, none allowed parents to watch. He does his hour of ballet on a Tuesday, I get to do an hour in the gym next door. Win win for both of us.

Witchend · 06/02/2020 18:24

That's usual for both dance and gym. And actually I can understand why having seen one (and my nieces attended one) because the children are distracted by the adults being there.

aquietlifeplease · 06/02/2020 18:25

Mine have attended gymnastics classes at the local council run sports centre since they were 3 and we've always been allowed to stay and watch and in fact are not allowed to leave the building until they are 12 although we can go to the cafe, gym etc if we want.

UndertheCedartree · 06/02/2020 18:34

I wonder at these teachers who can't get DC to focus or listen, can't instil discipline or the DC would be running to parents. My DS's karate instructors had no problem with this with parents watching. If they can do it why can't others?

UndertheCedartree · 06/02/2020 18:39

I wonder at these teachers who can't get DC to focus or listen, can't instil discipline or the DC would be running to parents. My DS's karate instructors had no problem with this with parents watching. If they can do it why can't others?

Isithometimeyet0987 · 06/02/2020 18:48

My Performing Arts studio has dance, drama/musical theatre and gymnastics classes, from 3 years old no parents are allowed in the studio/gym. 2 of our 4 studios have viewing windows but we don’t really use these for classes this young as parents kept knocking on the window/waving/distracting the kids and we had other parents complaining about their kids being distracted by these parents and wasting their money, so now we only use the studios with windows if we’re really stuck like if we’re running an event/exams/auditions that requires privacy. And our gym where gymnastics classes take place without parents from 3 is no parents rule as well for the same reasons and from the small window in the door you can really only see the beams. We also had a safeguarding issue 2 years ago which was the final straw and we now have a no parents policy in our contract (contract includes more than just that btw) that’s signed before any child is allowed to step into any class.

Original poster
Howdidido · 06/02/2020 18:49

There wasnt a viewing gallery
I'd be in a weird little meeting room upstairs with the class happening in the main room downstairs

OP posts:
CottonSock · 06/02/2020 18:50

We don't stay for drama / dance class. Gymnastics the parents sit in an other part of building

Original poster
Howdidido · 06/02/2020 18:52

Like I said her martial arts class has no problem with parents. Or with discipline. And that's a lot bigger.
Good point on toileting. What would happen if she needed the loo. Would someone come and get me?

OP posts:
Original poster
Howdidido · 06/02/2020 18:53

Do people really leave 3 and 4 year olds with people they dont know?
I know this has moved on (IABU. This class isn't for us)
But it's in a village hall. I dont know these people from Adam and nor does DD.

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