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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To to leave DD alone when there are so workmen in house

74 replies

SoWhat21 · 06/02/2020 15:16

AAGH ive just realized Dd is off school the week I’ve organized to have a plumber come to do some essential work. She’s 13 and does would have stayed in house alone while I worked the mornings but not sure I should leave her now. He’s down a work for me in the past but still. Also have a painter coming but can probably reorganize him. Plumbers hard to get here.

OP posts:
CustardySergeant · 06/02/2020 17:24

WTF RB68? Did your friend complain?

Missillusioned · 06/02/2020 17:28

Given that there have been undercover camera shows detailing what some workmen do when alone with a female customer's underwear drawers I definitely wouldn't leave a teen alone with a workman.

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 06/02/2020 17:29

I've voted YANBU by accident as I read the vote choice wrong, I'm a plank Hmm Grin
YABU to leave her, I wouldn't be comfortable with that and I doubt the contractors would be comfortable alone with a child too.

FoamingAtTheUterus · 06/02/2020 17:29

You might find the plumber refuses to.do.the work with a child in the home.

When we had.some building work done a.few years.ago.the builders left when.I had.to.go put and.leave DD in bed ill. They arranged to.come.back.when I returned.

Jomarchsburntskirt · 06/02/2020 17:53

Absolutely not. @Sootyandsweep2019 spectacularly naive of you.

BrendasUmbrella · 06/02/2020 17:56

I do find it really sad that people are so quick to worry that any man may be a Peadophile these days.

It's lovely that you were once left alone with a stranger who behaved like a normal person but it's perfectly normal to not offer unconditional trust to every stranger you meet. And if you are going to say to someone "by all means, be alone in my locked home all day with my 13 year old child" presumably you trust them? I would not put my keenness to demonstrate that I believe NAMALT over the safety of my child...

QueSera · 06/02/2020 18:01

How could you even consider leaving her. YABVVVU

QueSera · 06/02/2020 18:01

How could you even consider leaving her. YABVVVU

Drum2018 · 06/02/2020 18:03

Not a chance I'd leave her. A trades person tried to feel me up when I was that age, and my mother was in the house! She was working from home. I'm late forties now and still remember it well. Dirty bastard. Needless to say she didn't have him near the house again. Anyway, for your plumbers sake and dds sake I don't think it would be appropriate. Even teachers in Ds school aren't allowed to supervise after school study if only one student turns up. They have guidelines for good reason so maybe think along those lines and hopefully you can figure out somewhere else for your dd to go, or try to get the plumber a week before/after.

duffeldaisy · 06/02/2020 18:04

Definitely not. As a teenager (a long time ago now) I popped back home to get something, and the trio of men working there wondered aloud why I'd been allowed back, because there was a risk they might rape me (which they said laughingly).

I didn't stay long enough to find out if that was them caring for my welfare, I was absolutely petrified, and it did nothing for my confidence in being alone around men.

Yes, it's a tiny risk, but it's so unfair. As others have said, to the plumber too, and one thing like that could really shake your daughter's confidence for years. Not worth it.

thekatydids · 06/02/2020 18:17

I think the plumber will probably refuse, if they have public liability insurance (do they have to have this?) would it cover them for anything relating to a minor who was without an appropriate adult? Also the safe guarding issue, they might want to be at risk of false allegations - not saying your DD would do that but they don't know that.

thekatydids · 06/02/2020 18:18

I think the plumber will probably refuse, if they have public liability insurance (do they have to have this?) would it cover them for anything relating to a minor who was without an appropriate adult? Also the safe guarding issue, they might want to be at risk of false allegations - not saying your DD would do that but they don't know that.

Aragog · 06/02/2020 18:26

We've only done this since the past year or two - DD is now 17y.

Before then it just didn't feel fair on the contractor/workmen, nor on DD either. Initially it was only with the odd one or two who we have had over to do a lot of work for us in the past, DD had met them before and DD was home revising. Before that we arranged for work to be done either when we were away or at work/school (left them with key - it was a work contact dh knew a little) or when me or dh could be at home too.

Aragog · 06/02/2020 18:26

We've only done this since the past year or two - DD is now 17y.

Before then it just didn't feel fair on the contractor/workmen, nor on DD either. Initially it was only with the odd one or two who we have had over to do a lot of work for us in the past, DD had met them before and DD was home revising. Before that we arranged for work to be done either when we were away or at work/school (left them with key - it was a work contact dh knew a little) or when me or dh could be at home too.

thekatydids · 06/02/2020 18:28

I think the plumber will probably refuse, if they have public liability insurance (do they have to have this?) would it cover them for anything relating to a minor who was without an appropriate adult? Also the safe guarding issue, they might want to be at risk of false allegations - not saying your DD would do that but they don't know that.

Aragog · 06/02/2020 18:33

We've only done this since the past year or two - DD is now 17y.

Before then it just didn't feel fair on the contractor/workmen, nor on DD either. Initially it was only with the odd one or two who we have had over to do a lot of work for us in the past, DD had met them before and DD was home revising. Before that we arranged for work to be done either when we were away or at work/school (left them with key - it was a work contact dh knew a little) or when me or dh could be at home too.

Scarlettpixie · 06/02/2020 18:55

No, I wouldn’t leave her at home. Either rearrange, take time off or arrange for her to be elsewhere.

Chickychickydodah · 06/02/2020 18:56

Most companies don’t allow a work person in the house unless they are over 18

Arnoldthecat · 06/02/2020 18:56

I wouldn't enter or work in a house with only a child in it.

MintyMabel · 06/02/2020 21:13

Nope. Wouldn’t do this. I don’t feel comfortable myself when I have folk in, best workmen or my cleaner. Wouldn’t do the same to a young teenager.

MintyMabel · 06/02/2020 21:14

I do find it really sad that people are so quick to worry that any man may be a Peadophile these days.

That has nothing to do with my reasons not to.

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 06/02/2020 21:19

That has nothing to do with my reasons not to
Same, I wasn't thinking of that at all

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 06/02/2020 21:22

He wont be allowed to be alone in the house with a minor. I work in a job where we send out surveyors to price up a job and often have them return saying that they couldn't do it because there was no one over 18 at the property.

Arnoldthecat · 07/02/2020 12:34

If the child were male would you live it with a work person ? would the work persons gender make any difference i.e would you leave your 15 yr old son with a female decorator?

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