Builders requesting drinks

[crazydiamond222]

We are having an extension built whilst I am on maternity leave. I have a 3 month old. We have 2 builders on site laying foundations who started on monday. I have been making them a drink first thing and on one occasion made them a bacon sandwich. I don't offer drinks all day because my son keeps me very busy and only naps on me and it is a 4 month job so I don't want to have to do drinks all day for this period.

This afternoon whilst I was playing with my son in the living room one of the builders walked past the window and requested a coffee and tea. I thought the request to be a bit cheeky as a) he shouldn't have been looking in the living room and b) he shouldn't been requesting. I made him the drinks anyway leaving my son on the playmat getting upset. I rushed outside as my son was upset and I wanted to get back to him. When I took the drinks outside I tripped over rubble breaking a cup and scratching my arm. The builders reply was you should have passed it through the window. I remade the drinks but suggested in future setting up a kettle in the garage for them but they said they can just bring their own drinks. I am now feeling pretty upset with them.

Just needed to vent really but what do people feel is reasonable regarding builders and drinks.

Is parenting really so demanding that you can't make tea? Fair point if he was a newborn, but he's three months old! What on earth do you think is going to happen if you pop him in his cot for ten minutes while you make the builders tea twice a day?!

They then victim blamed her, saying she should have handed them through the window

Victim blamed? How is she a victim?

This is getting ridiculous.

@74NewStreet Not quite sure what was odd about my post. Like many others, I was saying it was a good thing to provide regular hot drinks for builders. Was it odd that I said I enjoy having builders around? I know most people find it messy and inconvenient and tiresome, but I like having extra people in the domestic melée.

Oh for goodness' sake - what's wrong with having a pleasant relationship with the people building your house?

Ok - just say sorry guys I can't do tea etc as it's too much with the baby, but if you want to bring your own kettle you're welcome to get water.

Or tell their boss that, whoever you're paying.

Or, be really stressed by it and hide in the house and feel angry if they ask you for tea on Monday. And start to hate their presence. But I guess you've got another 8-10 weeks to go so might feel better if you didn't hate them. Which is why I suggested a gentle mutual appreciation club.

'Victim blamed? How is she a victim?

This is getting ridiculous.'

It sure is! Cannot believe the entitlement that some so-called professionals have or they cry foul. Glad they're in the profession they're in and not others where cheeky AF behaviour and expecting to be served hot drinks and/or food or you don't do the best job you can for the fee you've charged gets you sacked.

The OP writes that 'When I took the drinks outside I tripped over rubble breaking a cup and scratching my arm. The builders reply was you should have passed it through the window.' That was their reply when their client tripped bringing them hot drinks they asked her to make and she's the one who's been totally roasted on here! And she even made them replacement drinks.

I'm with the poster who said no wonder British builders have such a bad rap in so many places and including abroad.

She made them the drinks as they asked, twice after she fell, then offered a station, but she's been thoroughly flamed here because she didn't hop to with the tea lady charade.

She tripped over.

SHE tripped over.

How is she a victim?

She wouldn't have tripped over had they not asked her to make them drinks. and then their reply was that she should have handed them through the window and then instead of asking where the kettle was so they could make themselves drinks after they saw she was scratched up they allowed her to go in and make them replacements. But hey, they're entitled and she's a cunt for not having hopped to it with the drinkiepoos . I'd have felt bad if a friend tripped over making me a hot drink (which I would never have asked for because it's rude) and sat her down and told her to forget about it. But they're special and she's just treating them like shit. Fucking hell.

They obviously did feel as she'd gone over the rubble and probably guilty so said to pass through the window.

And tbh it is a bit daft to walk over rubble with hot tea. It's a horrid accident but wasn't their direct fault.

God there are some tight, miserable buggers on this thread. Where is your humanity and empathy? How long do you think a thermos lasts when you are doing a physical job outside in winter or a bottle of water in the hear of summer. If you don't want to be making drinks for any reason, leave a kettle and access to water. Would you work for an employer who didn't provide the facilities to make a drink? I certainly wouldn't and I sit at a desk all day.

They did feel bad

She wouldn't have tripped over had they not asked her to make them drinks.

Or she wouldnt have tripped up had she had not gone out. No one asked her to serve them tea in the garden.

Its possible to make a drink and then shout someone to come get it. She was aware it was a building site outside.

No one said she was a cunt.

You are massively exaggerating everything in this thread to make OP look like the poor ickle women at the mercy of big bad builders.

Again, how is she a victim?

@crazydiamond222 has been unfairly criticized by overall the minority, but still quite a few people. She's said she's offered to set up a kettle etc. She also said that it's a four month job, so doesn't want to be making a habit of effectively waiting on them all day. Then asked our opinions. It is also relevant that she has a four month old baby, and even if she didn't have, whatever anyone's situation, I doubt there are many people willing to wait on them all day. It's quite reasonable to just make the odd drink.

It is common courtesy to make people working for you tea, or make sure they have facilities to make their own (works longer term). OP is being v precious.

'You are massively exaggerating everything in this thread to make OP look like the poor ickle women at the mercy of big bad builders.'

And you are massively exaggerating the desperate needs of adults hired to do a job where there may not have even been anyone on hand, much less expected to make drinks.

Frankly, none of the builders on here have covered themselves in glory and this person has been completely flamed for not playing the tea game according to all manner of unwritten code.

She tripped bringing them a drink they asked for because, oh, the stupid thing, she should have just shouted on them (she also should have been making them drinks all along according to some). Then they were fine with letting her make them some more bloody drinks and told her she should have passed them through the window. She can't win for losing.

Fucking hell. Wouldn't want to hire British builders after reading this thread!

Because they asked for a cup of tea? . The fecking drama...

And you are massively exaggerating the desperate needs of adults hired to do a job where there may not have even been anyone on hand, much less expected to make drinks.

I havent discuss their desperate need for a drink. I pointed out that anyone who manages people knows that small courtesies and gestures motivate people. It's a fact

Frankly, none of the builders on here have covered themselves in glory and this person has been completely flamed for not playing the tea game according to all manner of unwritten code.

Theres been droves of builders, really? It's not a tea game or unwritten secret rule. People come to your house, you offered them drinks. If they are there for a long time, you offer another one.

She can't win for losing.

What? Are you drunk? What do you mean she cant win for losing.

She didnt need yo go outside into the building site. No one demanded she bring it out and serve it to them.

You keep avoiding it. I questioned how she was victim, you still cant answer.

You would think they spat the tea out, called her a wench and threw her in the mud and yelled for more tea, the way you are going on.

You keep avoiding it. I questioned how she was victim, you still cant answer.

I already have. Pretty insulting to insinuate someone is drunk if they don't agree with you. She was trying to be courteous to take the tea out, tripped, and then they turned it back on her and said she should have just passed it through the window and then were happy to take a replacement drink she made them instead of asking if they could just help themselves. That's not even something I'd do to a friend, much less my customer. But hey, carry on getting insulting and personal and derailing the thread, says more about you than me.

And the mean spiritedness continues. Some people are such self centred cows (sorrow to insult bovine females, men can occasionally be just as bad ). She didn't offer to supply a kettle straight off, she begrudge making a cup of tea and a lot of you are as bad. If your house is someone's workplace you have a place they can make drinks and they can use the loo unless the nature of the work means you need to pay for a portaloo ( it will be you, it will be in your bill).

OP is long gone and who can blame her, she's been called precious, making a rod for her own back, flamed for how she parents her baby, told she was 'stupid' for taking the tea out to them, accused of being a snob and asked where her 'humanity' is, told people who don't step to with the tea don't deserve or won't have the job completed as well, will be slagged off in pubs, etc. You'd have thought she'd burned puppies. Utterly batshit over perceived entitlement to fucking cups of tea.

Bloody hell, how is this still raging?? It's -Brexit- Transition Period all over again!

Takes note never to work for stormciarathegale

I didnt insinuate it. I said it. Directly. because at no point does anything you sat have anything with not being able to do right for doing wrong.

It doesnt make sense.

At no point have you explained how she is a victim or its victim blaming.

It's a really pathetic thing to do. Using those phrases trivialises actual victims and victim blaming. She fell over. She isnt a victim.

The only one insulting and derailing is you. You have accused people of sexism, of calling op a cunt, saying people expect her to be at their beck and call.

You are just talking rubbish. You keep making a point and when its questioned, you ignore it.

It's perfectly normal to offer people working in your house a drink. 2 if they are there for a while. Perfectly normal.

They shouldnt be asking. I used to do construction/development and a good plan is to get a cheap kettle and some cheap mugs,,put them on a tray and just tell the lads and ladies to help themselves. That way your not running after them all the time. They can sort their own tea bags and milk . Thats fair and thats what i used to do/preferred.

arnoldtheca far too sensible and non-dramatic for some

Dear god, Kirk, you have a chip on your shoulder that weighs a ton! Whatever. I explained why I thought they victim blamed her. You disagree. Then went on and on and on trying to make it a personal discussion between you and me. Okay, I get it. She's been utterly roasted on here for the crime of not proffering tea in a timely fashion. I find that un-fucking-believable, utterly batshit. The level at which her parenting has been criticised I find disgusting.