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Original poster

Builders requesting drinks

733 replies

crazydiamond222 · 06/02/2020 14:54

We are having an extension built whilst I am on maternity leave. I have a 3 month old. We have 2 builders on site laying foundations who started on monday. I have been making them a drink first thing and on one occasion made them a bacon sandwich. I don't offer drinks all day because my son keeps me very busy and only naps on me and it is a 4 month job so I don't want to have to do drinks all day for this period.

This afternoon whilst I was playing with my son in the living room one of the builders walked past the window and requested a coffee and tea. I thought the request to be a bit cheeky as a) he shouldn't have been looking in the living room and b) he shouldn't been requesting. I made him the drinks anyway leaving my son on the playmat getting upset. I rushed outside as my son was upset and I wanted to get back to him. When I took the drinks outside I tripped over rubble breaking a cup and scratching my arm. The builders reply was you should have passed it through the window. I remade the drinks but suggested in future setting up a kettle in the garage for them but they said they can just bring their own drinks. I am now feeling pretty upset with them.

Just needed to vent really but what do people feel is reasonable regarding builders and drinks.

OP posts:
Thewarrenerswife · 08/02/2020 08:21

I think op set the tone by making the first drinks and sandwich. Having a 4 month old isn’t a disability. Letting he/she dictate that they will only nap on you turns it into a disability. No they should not have knocked on the window, I think that was rude and intrusive. I suspect the tea station was declined because on the context it was offered under... eg, we don’t mind if you pass through the window. No, you’re an imposition, you can make your own from now on.
Lesson to learn: make a decision about if and how you’ll provide refreshments before work starts, then they know whether to bring a flask.
To make the next 4 months less awkward, I’d set up the tea station, and leave biscuits out as a gesture, perhaps even the odd donut/pastry.

MaterEstIratus · 08/02/2020 08:29

I would happily have supplied kettle,mugs, tea & coffee etc to my builders but they brought their own.i did buy them biscuits and make bacon sarnies on Fridays.

Marshmello · 08/02/2020 08:47

This really isn't a big problem.

It's standard client-builder bonding, the tea and biscuits. You made them tea so they thought that was the deal.

Put an old kettle or v cheap one for under a tenner in the garage and two old mugs and a teaspoon. Buy a bag of white sugar and a big bottle of milk. They will need access to water to fill the kettle but otherwise leave them to it. If you want your foundations done with a smile, add a pack of biscuits.

And say 'hey guys, I've put you and kettle and stuff in the garage so you can make tea whenever you like - don't want to break my neck!' and laugh with them.

They aren't the enemy. They're just people. And they thought you were approachable. That's good. Don't blow it. Just be nice but set them up so they aren't bothering you. They'll be happy with that.

HomerSimpsonSmilingPolitely · 08/02/2020 09:00

You should have just said no, nicely. Say the baby needs to go down for a nap or something. Maybe try and be out of the house as much as you can. Tough to do that with a 3 month old though.

I always offer a brew upon arrival and then one or two more times throughout the day, but that's because I think it's polite/friendly. You aren't obliged to do it.

EngagedAgain · 08/02/2020 09:05

@Herbie, 'I had builders here.. I pointed at the kettle.. they worked it out'. That makes them sound like neanderthals! Re. Another poster have we just had our first tradesman in the loo mention? Better not get started on that subject. In fact if anyone has a ahem, 'long job' on, best install a portaloo 😁

Tas1984 · 08/02/2020 09:18

First world problems wow 😆

Toomuchtrouble4me · 08/02/2020 11:19

He’s 3months old!!!!
Then he’s asleep most of the time and can’t do himself any damage in a cot/Moses basket whilst you make tea!
You only say that you offered a drinks station AFTER everyone told you that you were in the wrong here ...maybe that’s true, I suspect not. Howe er, they clearly need a drinks station so sort it out - cheap kettle, coffee, teabags, old mugs and few biscuits.
And yes, I’ve had big projects done in 2 houses - with 2 and then with 4 children.

Funguy · 08/02/2020 11:52

Of course her son keeps her busy! He's THREE months old!
I think this builder was rude and cheeky. Many workmen now bring their own thermoses so as not to bother the client.
He should not have gone to your living room window, it sounds like ridiculous entitlement.
I have worked in the building industry. Some will give you drinks, some not. I took it as I found it.
Sounds to me this was a one off nosy one who just had a chip on his shoulder. He probably got told off and quite right too.

Funguy · 08/02/2020 11:53

I have no idea why folk think your should leave donuts and pastries. They are builders, not incapable fools.

UntamedWisteria · 08/02/2020 12:02

Gosh, this is still going...

I had a builder once who asked for Earl Grey with lemon when I asked him how he took his tea....

Vulpine · 08/02/2020 12:06

So now we're meant to 'bond' with our builders. How about they just do the job they're paid very handsomely to do and leave op to 'bond' with her baby.

Alez · 08/02/2020 12:12

It's cheeky to ask you. I would offer to make one when they first come and say help yourself. If I were making one for myself I might offer to them at the same time though probs depends what they were doing. Can't believe people make them a bacon sandwich! I compare it to my workplace - no one makes anything for me there!

ChardonnaysDistantCousin · 08/02/2020 12:12

Yeah, why would I be bonding with the builders and why would they want to bond with me?

What is this? Team building or extension building?

Laughterisbest · 08/02/2020 12:34

Builders are being made to sound highly unprofessional on this thread. All this spite if they don't get fed and watered.

I notice that at least one tradesperson has posted that they don't expect it.

Surely the builders would bring a flask at least the first day till they suss out what's what.

An unoccupied house near me is being completely renovated. I'm sure the team working on it have managed to bring a kettle etc, and haven't gone the entire day without drinking something, even though there's no -one there to cater for them.

SunshineAngel · 08/02/2020 12:35

We have tea making facilities and a fridge in the garage as we've sort of half converted it into an office, so we just open that up when there's people doing work and say help yourself.

stormciarathegale · 08/02/2020 12:46

So much abuse for a first-time mum who is struggling because she's not providing for men they are providing with money to do a job. How shameful! And yy, I can't imagine all builders are so immature and unprofessional they don't bring their own food and sustenance, I mean, how do they know someone will even be in the home during their period of work, the owners are likely to be out at work themselves.

As for 'bonding', what? It's a business transaction, not a team-building exercise.

Providing an area with a kettle, water and the basics, access to water and a toilet, being a flexible customer who pays on time isn't enough?

Kirkman · 08/02/2020 12:52

So much abuse for a first-time mum who is struggling because she's not providing for men they are providing with money to do a job. How shameful!

It's got nothing to do with their sex for god sake. I have had women working in my home and make them drinks.

I go to work. For money. The company owner still makes brews. Because he knows when you treat people well, they are more motivated. It's well known for anyone who manages people.

Thank fuck my boss doesnt think, because he pays me, I dont need treating decently.

LovePoppy · 08/02/2020 12:55

First world problems wow😆
Absolutely
Shocking that paid professionals can’t figure out bringing their own food and must be “kept sweet” to do their jobs.

Absolute first world privilege right there.

First world problem that their employer, who is paying them, might be too busy to make them tea

stormciarathegale · 08/02/2020 13:10

It's got nothing to do with their sex for god sake.

Well these were men working in her home. And since when is not providing access to kettle, water, tea bags, coffee, sugar and milk for them to help themselves, via setting up a station, as was offered, not treating someone decently? Instead it's expected to be served or you're not being treated decently? Fucking hell, now that is precious.

Kirkman · 08/02/2020 13:16

They asked her to make a drink once.

It's not waiting on them. It's not a massive hassle.

Since when has making people a brew 'being served', that's precious.

Again their sex has nothing to do with it.

Can just imagine the reaction if an op came on saying her dh was looking after the baby and refused to make someone working in the house a cuppa, because he couldnt look after the baby and make a few drinks.

People would think its ridiculous that he couldnt manage the baby AND make a drink.

MalusDacus · 08/02/2020 13:21

I actually think it was quite cheeky what the builder did. My husband owns a company in that field and what I can tell you is each builder brings his own food/water or usually the company offers water on the site not the client(unless the client wants to serve something to the builders but the client is not obliged to do so).

wetpants · 08/02/2020 13:25

Kirkman Many company bosses treat their stuff very well despite never touching the kettle. And many people take a great pride in their work despite never ever even seeing their boss in person.

wetpants · 08/02/2020 13:27

STAFF!!
Grr....

stormciarathegale · 08/02/2020 13:28

'They asked her to make a drink once.

It's not waiting on them. It's not a massive hassle.

Since when has making people a brew 'being served', that's precious.'

She made the drinks, brought them out to them, tripped. They then victim blamed her, saying she should have handed them through the window and took replacement drinks she made them. Wow. That's just utterly arseholeish.

She hasn't come back because she's been utterly flamed for not pandering to these unprofessional people.

Kirkman · 08/02/2020 13:30

Many company bosses treat their stuff very well despite never touching the kettle. And many people take a great pride in their work despite never ever even seeing their boss in person.

Are you suggesting OP does those things? PRP? Early finish on fridays? It's one of the ways people who manage people treat their staff well.

Many people dont see their line manager? Ever? Ok then. But OP does see these people, so that's not relevant.