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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Builders requesting drinks

733 replies

crazydiamond222 · 06/02/2020 14:54

We are having an extension built whilst I am on maternity leave. I have a 3 month old. We have 2 builders on site laying foundations who started on monday. I have been making them a drink first thing and on one occasion made them a bacon sandwich. I don't offer drinks all day because my son keeps me very busy and only naps on me and it is a 4 month job so I don't want to have to do drinks all day for this period.

This afternoon whilst I was playing with my son in the living room one of the builders walked past the window and requested a coffee and tea. I thought the request to be a bit cheeky as a) he shouldn't have been looking in the living room and b) he shouldn't been requesting. I made him the drinks anyway leaving my son on the playmat getting upset. I rushed outside as my son was upset and I wanted to get back to him. When I took the drinks outside I tripped over rubble breaking a cup and scratching my arm. The builders reply was you should have passed it through the window. I remade the drinks but suggested in future setting up a kettle in the garage for them but they said they can just bring their own drinks. I am now feeling pretty upset with them.

Just needed to vent really but what do people feel is reasonable regarding builders and drinks.

OP posts:
gamerwidow · 06/02/2020 18:56

I usually tell tradesmen to help themselves and give them access to tea coffee and biscuits.
It's good to keep them on-side and have a good working relationship with them.
I can understand why the OP wouldn't want to keep making them tea if she got a high needs baby to look after though.
Just set them up a drink making area outside then everyone's ok.

74NewStreet · 06/02/2020 18:58

What an odd post, BoardingSchoolMater. Particularly in the light of your username...

saraclara · 06/02/2020 19:02

You offered them a tea station, they refused, but expect you to make their tea instead?

How come we've got to four pages and so few people have picked up on the point that they want you to make it instead of making it themselves!

Seriously, the cheek of them!

EL0ISE · 06/02/2020 19:03

I don’t make them tea or meals.

Like many PP I set up a tray with kettle, supplies , mugs and chocolate biscuits like Kit Kat. It’s no work ( except running the mugs through the dishwasher at night. ) It’s probably £1/ day on biscuits. If you can’t afford that £60 on the top of the three month building project then you have bigger problems that buying tea bags.

Boshmama · 06/02/2020 19:04

I'm with you OP - my baby hated being put down at all, so trying to make a round of hot drinks was difficult and sometimes dangerous.

I'd set them up a little station of refreshments and crack on playing with your new bubba 💞

Twillow · 06/02/2020 19:04

I'm guessing you haven't had builders before? You do need to look after them for goodwill. It's dirty, thirsty work and often very cold or very hot.
I'm not surprised they asked if they hadn't had drinks since first thing.

I would make my builders drinks first thing, then offer again whenever I was making one for myself and in between they knew they were free to use the kitchen to make drinks for themselves. They certianly didn't take advantage, they just had their own routines.

username58788 · 06/02/2020 19:09

This thread is absolutely insane offering builders drinks Shock. Yeah if your making one for yourself but to be a tea lady for someone doing work that you have paid to do nah . Like the op said she offered to set kettle up to help themselves what's wrong with that ? .
Some people should learn to read the post properly and then others follow what someone else has said it's a bit bullying really not nice at all .
As someone who had builders in for months while I had a extension no way was I running around with cups of tea , there Is the kettle you want a brew help yourself .

Livpool · 06/02/2020 19:09

Some people are so precious.

Make tradespeople a drink and get on with your life. I don't really drink hot drinks but happy to offer and make them for others. Making a couple of hot drinks 4 times a day max is no great hardship, and not being a skivvy

DishingOutDone · 06/02/2020 19:10

I think what happened today was very much a case of no good deed going unpunished, but I have always found on this site that a significant number of posters think builders, particularly male builders, are very important and must be accommodated at all costs and particularly when it comes to refreshments. Jesus these are men, and they are WORKING. You and your baby are secondary and frankly just a nuisance to these heroes Hmm

Serin · 06/02/2020 19:10

It's quite an intimate business having builders in. They almost become part of the family.
I make them hot drinks every couple of hours and offer cake/biscuits. In return I hope they keep their mouths shut about the amount of fluff behind the radiators. Grin

PatellarTendonitis · 06/02/2020 19:11

Oh look, a naice MC mumsnetter who's never done a day of manual labour begruding workers a brew.

Aren't you fucking embarrassed to even post this, OP?

Are you 'fucking embarrassed' to write such a nasty, sneering, ugly post about someone you know FA about? You have no idea what she does for a living or if she's 'MC' and it's no one's business. People are not forced to work as builders or joiners or do manual labour. They chose such a profession. In return, they charge their clients a rightful fee for their work, they're not doing it out of the goodness of their hearts or for free or by force. It's a cheek to also expect the client to actually make them drinks on top of whatever it is they're doing at the time, that's snobbery! In what other job do you expect your client to serve you hot drinks and food and meals or you'll do a less than best job?

What a lot of disgusting posts towards a new mum who's struggling for not jumping up to wait on people they're paying to provide a service.

Jobseeker19 · 06/02/2020 19:12

Boy, I ain't supplying anything. BYO. I'm busy

MrsBrentford · 06/02/2020 19:13

OP I posted about this last summer and got flamed too.

In real life YANBU they should bring their own refreshments IMO, and a kettle.

On MN YABU you should set up a pop a cafe for them and serve them with a sweet smile all day long.

MrsBrentford · 06/02/2020 19:14

*pop up cafe Blush

Icepinkeskimo · 06/02/2020 19:14

Can I just say something here, the majority of tradesmen/women (yes there are a few out there and I'm proud to say I have three of them on my team) don't expect to be waited on hand and foot.

If you do put a tea station out for them it is gratefully recurved and really appreciated. Anything on top of that is a fantastic lovely gesture.

We know your residence is your private space and we are temporary interlopers, and I can only speak for my team but we are aware that we do cause disruption and it's a dirty and brutal job, but that can't be helped. We always try to be mindful.

I have had and still have some fantastic clients who remain friends, I also have had clients who have been demons from day one on site.

I have a mantra treat people how you want to be treated. Karma is a bitch you see? Upset people and it comes back to. Item you in the (builders) bum.

There's been a lot of aggro on this thread, but let me tell you this I had the day from hell today with a client, and came home feeling really down. However this thread has restored my faith in human nature because on the whole I've read some wonderful kind thoughtful postings.

I'm off for a shower now as I'm not digging my dirty muddy tramp look tonight!

Roozy123 · 06/02/2020 19:14

How DARE he look into your living room! Hmm 🙄😂

Next time just say, I'll make it in a bit when I'm not busy or for him to help himself.
You tripped on rubble because it's a building site right now.
If you thought he was being cheeky you didn't have to make a drink for him, you didn't have to leave the baby and you didn't have to go out and hand him a drink?
Confused

CottonSock · 06/02/2020 19:16

I have the builders in soon. I plan to be out as much as possible. Op it's not your job to be tea lady.

Twillow · 06/02/2020 19:17

@Icepinkeskimo
*So many nice 'clients' on here who put out tea and coffee and the rest of the lovely things to make a brutal job easier on the tradesmen/women.

I can tell you from a building prospective, you are the best kind of clients we have to work with. We have two sets of clients, those who have it in their mind that anyone who works in construction is casing the joint, which simply is not the case. The there's those who treat us as human beings.

The ones who put out a packet of chocolate digestives in the afternoon, have no idea how appreciated that kind gesture is. Yes we do go the extra mile for them.*

That's good to know, I had builders in for 4 months and got quite fond of them, got to know them well and sorry to see them go at the end! They're just people like the rest of us!!

DishingOutDone · 06/02/2020 19:17

See OP?! Its your own fault for tripping and having a baby and needing building work. Sheesh.

eddielizzard · 06/02/2020 19:17

I have been in EXACTLY your situation, and no 3 mo baby of mine was easy Hmm

I did put out a kettle, milk, tea and mugs, and occasionally a packet of biscuits. If I had something nice like cake in anyway, I'd give them some. As for making them tea and coffee all through the day? No fucking way! Even a bacon sarnie I think is very generous, and I'd probably only do that if I got on really well.

You're fine - you're coping with a less than ideal situation. You'll get through it and in 10 years you'll have forgotten all this horrible-ness. Like I almost have...

Kirkman · 06/02/2020 19:18

The 'if you disagree you have probably never been in this situation' reply makes me laugh.

It couldnt possibly be that people just disagree, could it Hmm

Straycatblue · 06/02/2020 19:19

ilovesooty
@Straycatbluewould you want to do heavy manual work all day without a drink or at least the facility to make one?*

Frenchw1fe
@Straycatblue have you ever done a manual job?

I do a very manual job (my second job not my primary one) for over 12 hours a day outside in all weathers and because Im a self sufficient adult , I dont expect the people who are employing me to serve me drinks and refreshments throughout the day in order to keep me onside and do a good job , i actually plan ahead and bring my own because its not that difficult.

(and while a flask wont last the 12 hours, contrary to popular belief, manual workers will not drop down dead if they had to have a cool drink rather than a warm one and even if they did then thats something they need to discuss with their manager about their working conditions)

bugbhaer · 06/02/2020 19:20

I had enough of this shit as a young woman.

Now I tell them to help themselves to the kettle and to feel free to put milk in the fridge, but I'm busy and won't be making them any drinks. If I go to the shops I offer to pick something up for them (there's a good cafe).

I've noticed nowadays that they nearly always tell me no worries, they won't be pausing for drinks.

bugbhaer · 06/02/2020 19:21

(Actually, if it's a hot day I do offer water and if I've got it in for the nieces and nephews I offer squash).

DishingOutDone · 06/02/2020 19:21

Actually I do have a more cheerful builder story - my builders insisted they did not want my tea or coffee. I was surprised, but they insisted they would bring and make their own drinks.

Then one day they forgot their own supplies so I leapt in making a large tray of hot drinks, like the lovely hostess I am. They looked very uncomfortable, had a few sips and I could see it wasn't going well. They HATED my beverages. Maybe make them some shit tea tomorrow and they'll be falling over themselves to bring their own on Monday (although please be aware that if you fall over something on a building site its your own stupid fault as @Roozy123 outlines above).