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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Builders requesting drinks

733 replies

crazydiamond222 · 06/02/2020 14:54

We are having an extension built whilst I am on maternity leave. I have a 3 month old. We have 2 builders on site laying foundations who started on monday. I have been making them a drink first thing and on one occasion made them a bacon sandwich. I don't offer drinks all day because my son keeps me very busy and only naps on me and it is a 4 month job so I don't want to have to do drinks all day for this period.

This afternoon whilst I was playing with my son in the living room one of the builders walked past the window and requested a coffee and tea. I thought the request to be a bit cheeky as a) he shouldn't have been looking in the living room and b) he shouldn't been requesting. I made him the drinks anyway leaving my son on the playmat getting upset. I rushed outside as my son was upset and I wanted to get back to him. When I took the drinks outside I tripped over rubble breaking a cup and scratching my arm. The builders reply was you should have passed it through the window. I remade the drinks but suggested in future setting up a kettle in the garage for them but they said they can just bring their own drinks. I am now feeling pretty upset with them.

Just needed to vent really but what do people feel is reasonable regarding builders and drinks.

OP posts:
Original poster
crazydiamond222 · 06/02/2020 18:00

You are completely correct there. It was just the last straw in a day of a baby who will not stop crying, no sleep and then having to deal with multiple extension issues such as questions from the window company, kitchen fitters and architects.

OP posts:
cologne4711 · 06/02/2020 18:03

All the people I've had doing jobs around the house recently have brought their own drinks and food. Good job really as I have coffee first thing and then water for the rest of the day. Wouldn't occur to me to make tea unless they asked.

I did occasionally give them home baked goods if anyone expects that from me they'll be very very disappointed indeed. I don't bake!

cologne4711 · 06/02/2020 18:04

All the people I've had doing jobs around the house recently have brought their own drinks and food. Good job really as I have coffee first thing and then water for the rest of the day. Wouldn't occur to me to make tea unless they asked.

I did occasionally give them home baked goods if anyone expects that from me they'll be very very disappointed indeed. I don't bake!

cologne4711 · 06/02/2020 18:05

Four times the same post! Sorry x 4!

GertieGumboyle · 06/02/2020 18:07

I seem to have spent an entire lifetime with builders in my various houses, including when I had babies and small children.

If I am at home, I offer them regular hot drinks (and biscuits, though they mostly bring their own edibles).

If I'm going out, I leave it all available in the kitchen so they can make their own.

If you are going to have builders in your house for any length of time, you need to treat them as an extension of the family, IMO. I have always liked having builders to join in the merry throng, and I miss them when they have gone (probably why I always live in renovation projects). DD made one of our builders a birthday cake when she was about seven, complete with building-related decorations.

Jimdandy · 06/02/2020 18:07

YABU

I would make them the first one of the day and then just said please just help yourself going forward.

DollyDaydream70 · 06/02/2020 18:11

Tell them where the kettle and brew stuff is, leave them a packet of Jaffa Cakes and get on with your day. I think he was perhaps a little cheeky requesting drinks, but that's probably because almost everyone else would make them a few brews through the day. I have to be honest and say I think you're a bit mean only offering to make them one in the morning when they're there all day. It's manners and common courtesy to brew up for them. Do you not have a high chair or a play pen or anything you can pop your Son into while you spend 5 minutes brewing up? You could even just put him in his cot or trolley, it won't hurt him to be upset for 5 minutes.

BumbleBree · 06/02/2020 18:14

Of course my DH would make the tradesmen a cup of tea! He offered them all the time on our building site of a house for months! God that’s really making this about something it’s not! And OPs builders didn’t have access to the kettle etc when they asked (to posters saying why wasn’t access to the stuff to make it themselves enough for them). It really doesn’t take much to be a decent human being Hmm

Bananabixfloof · 06/02/2020 18:17

So many nice 'clients' on here who put out tea and coffee and the rest of the lovely things to make a brutal job easier on the tradesmen/women
Thank you ice, I always think to myself that no way would i want to be digging a trench in 30degree heat, or up on the roof lugging tiles around on a frosty morning or pick a trade and think of the worst day to do that job, it seems I always need them to do their job in the worst weather. Bad planning maybe?
So if i can make their day a little bit nicer then why not. Also a tiny part of me thinks towards the end of my job, when usually trades time is split between me and the next job, they may just prefer to come to mine to finish off because I've been ok with them.

PurpleFlower1983 · 06/02/2020 18:18

I offer when I’m available or tell them to help themselves if I’m not. I also leave a selection of biscuits.

Tellingitlikeitisnt · 06/02/2020 18:18

OP this op are mad!

Treating builders like incapable teenagers on whom you have to wait hand and foot

They are quite capable of bringing a kettle and supplies with them if they are on site for three months

Its ridiculous all this nonsense up thread

And having a 12 week old is all consuming and exhausting. Focus on feeding him not the adult men who are being paid to do a job.

It’s infantilising and ridiculous

Vanhi · 06/02/2020 18:23

I suspect a lot of people replying are not having builders for long term projects, is this the case?

Just because people are disagreeing with you, doesn't mean they haven't been in your situation.

I do have a sling but I am very glad I was not wearing it walking over rubble as when I had fallen baby would have been badly injured.

Well, I got the impression you were hurrying because of leaving the baby. There's a good chance that had you had the baby in the sling you wouldn't have tripped at all.

Anyway OP I think it's all a fairly minor thing. Good idea to set up a tea station in the garage and leave them to it.

oldfashionedtastingtea · 06/02/2020 18:24

We had painters for 4 weeks and 3 men doing all the floors for 5 weeksish. I was brought up to provide drinks to people that work for me. I wouldn't want to work somewhere without drinks. Builders tend to have set breaks, can't you ask them when they are and provide drinks and cookies for those times?

mumof2exhausted · 06/02/2020 18:24

I completely disagree with having to cater to builders whims for constant hot drinks. We’ve had big extension which took a year and on day one they brought their own kettle, tea and coffee. I keep their milk in fridge over night and that’s it. You are paying them to do a job. They are grown men who can make themselves a drink. As for bacon butties - you are too kind! If mine want this they walk to cafe down the road. Actually does my head in that tea/coffee is expected. We had excellent builders who were very self sufficient and never intruded on me and my kids. Strict rules from day one!

Roozy123 · 06/02/2020 18:24

He shouldn't have been looking in the living room!?
Hmm

DollyDaydream70 · 06/02/2020 18:28

Tell them where the kettle and brew stuff is, leave them a packet of Jaffa Cakes and get on with your day. I think he was perhaps a little cheeky requesting drinks, but that's probably because almost everyone else would make them a few through the day. I have to be honest and say I think you're a bit mean only offering to make them one in the morning when they're there all day. It's manners and common courtesy to brew up for them. Do you not have a high chair or a play pen or anything you can pop your Son in to while you spend 5 minutes brewing up? You could even just put him in his cot or trolley, it won't hurt him to be upset for 5 minutes.

ferrier · 06/02/2020 18:29

For a short job, maximum one week I'd make drinks, if they're lucky twice a day. I don't put the kettle on for me so I have to remember to do it for them. Anything longer and they can have access to a kettle/water and do it themselves ..... just as they would have to if there was no-one in.

ferrier · 06/02/2020 18:33

For a short job, maximum one week I'd make drinks, if they're lucky twice a day. I don't put the kettle on for me so I have to remember to do it for them. Anything longer and they can have access to a kettle/water and do it themselves ..... just as they would have to if there was no-one in.

DollyDaydream70 · 06/02/2020 18:37

@crazydiamond222 Tell them where the kettle and brew stuff is, leave them a packet of Jaffa Cakes and get on with your day. I think he was perhaps a little cheeky requesting drinks, but that's probably because almost everyone else would make them a few through the day. I have to be honest and say I think you're a bit mean only offering to make them one in the morning when they're there all day. It's manners and common courtesy to brew up for them. Do you not have a high chair or a play pen or anything you can pop your Son in to while you spend 5 minutes brewing up? You could even just put him in his cot or trolley, it won't hurt him to be upset for 5 minutes.

ferrier · 06/02/2020 18:38

For a short job, maximum one week I'd make drinks, if they're lucky twice a day. I don't put the kettle on for me so I have to remember to do it for them. Anything longer and they can have access to a kettle/water and do it themselves ..... just as they would have to if there was no-one in.

mumof2exhausted · 06/02/2020 18:38

I completely disagree with having to cater to builders whims for constant hot drinks. We’ve had big extension which took a year and on day one they brought their own kettle, tea and coffee. I keep their milk in fridge over night and that’s it. You are paying them to do a job. They are grown men who can make themselves a drink. As for bacon butties - you are too kind! If mine want this they walk to cafe down the road. Actually does my head in that tea/coffee is expected. We had excellent builders who were very self sufficient and never intruded on me and my kids. Strict rules from day one!

BoardingSchoolMater · 06/02/2020 18:39

If you are going to have builders in your house for any length of time, you need to treat them as an extension of the family, IMO, and supply them with regular hot drinks and friendliness. I have always liked having builders to join in the merry throng, and I miss them when they have gone (probably why I always live in renovation projects). DD made one of our builders a birthday cake when she was about seven, complete with building-related decorations. She didn't inherit her baking gene from me.

MondeoFan · 06/02/2020 18:39

Understandable you have a baby who keeps you busy. If you are in all day I don't think it hurts for you to make them a drink every 2 hours or so. If they are working 8-4 say you will only make 4 lots of drinks. I think it's polite

Jomarchsburntskirt · 06/02/2020 18:46

Why on earth wouldn’t you keep them topped up with brews. Unless you want to piss them off. It only takes a minute or two to make a couple of brews. I think you’re being a bit mean.

Praiseyou · 06/02/2020 18:50

OP, you are getting a really hard time here. There are some nasty posters spouting on about how easy your baby should be - all babies are different, if yours is easy count yourself lucky! As for "if you had other children, your baby wouldn't be able to nap on you". She doesn't have other children! It's like saying if she didn't have arms, the baby would have to get used to not being held!

Setting up the tea station is a good idea. If you were at work, they'd have to fend for themselves.

Do people really give their builders tea every 90 minutes? Heading off to make tea every hour and a half would not be accepted in my workplace.