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Original poster

To be a bit upset my childs biology dad has gf?

43 replies

Wheetabix · 06/02/2020 10:08

My daughter is 3.3. Her bio dad has not had any contact with her since she was 4 months old. Of course i wish he was a proper dad but I would never beg, he just hasn't bothered :( shame because she's an amazing clever little girl.
Anyway, I just discovered today he's been in a relationship with a girl since November, infact posting it 9 days before his child's birthday, which he didn't post about or send anything for etc.
I just feel really shocked and a bit angry that girls WANT to be with men who abandon their own flesh and blood. I really hope she is aware of the child he has, but since he has no mention of her on his main Facebook account, it seems less plausible. I don't think I'll do this because I don't want the drama but one side of me wants to message this girl and make sure she knows. I would want to if it was me in that relationship!
How do I stop being bothered by this? I don't know who I'm bothered more by? Her dad for 'moving on' from his responsibility or the girl who wants to be with him when he's nothing 🤔

OP posts:
Narcheska · 06/02/2020 10:10

She either won't know or you'll be made out to be some mean horrible bitter ex who keeps him from his kid. The usual nonsense men seem to come out with. Messaging her will prob play into his narrative about you if he's mentioned your child.

I know it's hard but take a breath and let it go. He's a waste of space by the sounds of it

HulksPurplePanties · 06/02/2020 10:10

Why are you looking at his Facebook?

Tombliwho · 06/02/2020 10:11

See, she may have been told you're the big bad ex who bans him from seeing his daughter. So in her mind he isn't nothing, he is her poor hard done by boyfriend.
Try not to let it get to you. If he has treated you and his daughter badly, he's unlikely to have turned into prince charming now.

Kirkman · 06/02/2020 10:12

I get you being annoyed at hom for being a dick in general. But how does, him being in a relationship impact you or your daughter?

Why are you looking at his facebook?

He is a dick who is missing out. He isnt ever going to be a good dad. You need to accept it and forget him.

As for her there could be loads of reasons she is with him. She could

Know the full story but think she is special and he wont do it to her

Not know at all

Know, but only know his version

Simply not care

If you message her and it kicks off and he decides to cause trouble for you and/or your dd, will you regret it?

Urkiddingright · 06/02/2020 10:12

She probably doesn’t know your child exists. Either that or he’ll have fabricated a story about you being a psycho ex who won’t let him see the child. Happens more often than you’d think, very sad. Don’t bother contacting her, I’d personally just block on social media so you’re not tempted to spy again.

mantarays · 06/02/2020 10:13

Is he with a “girl” or a woman?

Please stop blaming this woman for the issues in your child’s relationship with her dad. It is nothing whatsoever to do with her.

WorraLiberty · 06/02/2020 10:13

Perhaps she thinks there's two sides to every story and has only heard his side?

Either way, this can't be the first woman he's dated in the last 3 years?

Clangus00 · 06/02/2020 10:15

He “moved on” from his responsibilities 3 years ago. This girl could be the latest in a long line for all you know.
I hope you have him pay maintenance.

Russellbrandshair · 06/02/2020 10:15

You are right to be upset at his shoddy treatment of your daughter. You are being unreasonable expecting him to remain single forever. The way you’ve phrased this almost sounds like your led more angry he has a girlfriend than anything else which is odd. Why would you expect him to remain celibate and single? He is an arse no doubt, but women get into relationships with all kinds of selfish men so I’m not sure why you’re so shocked by this tbh

Tombliwho · 06/02/2020 10:16

Oh and definitely do not message her. No, no, no. Maintain dignity.

Clangus00 · 06/02/2020 10:16

Oh and not to be nasty, but it’s really none of your business at all.

WorraLiberty · 06/02/2020 10:19

Aren't you in a long term relationship with a 'foot, heel and ball busting fetishist'?

How does he feel about you stalking your ex's Facebook profile?

butwhateverfor · 06/02/2020 10:23

I shouldn't have just googled 'ball-busting'.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 06/02/2020 10:25

Stop looking at his FB profile.

He's moved on. And you don't know what kind of bullshit he's told his new GF. He's probably not even told her that he has a DD.

Just focus on yourself and DD.

Dragonembroidery · 06/02/2020 10:34

Contact her and tell her about his (your) child. She has a right to know. Also he's being deceitful ba**d.
Can't believe so many pp on here are advocating women not sticking together and victim blaming OP and exs gf.

Men get away with this stuff because society (as the advice on this thread shows) is set up to enable them.

Be warned though. He may start trying for custody. Especially now he has 'happy home' setup with gf, to demonise you with.
Take care Flowers

Hadtoask · 06/02/2020 10:41

No don’t contact her. Try to maintain your dignity and don’t have the drama. Try not to look at his social media however hard it is. It’s all painful but actually you are the one with the child so you are the lucky one. He lost out.

SandyY2K · 06/02/2020 10:49

Leave him to his life....he's not worth having in your life.

Was he a good man who disappeared when she was 4 months? Or was he always an idiot.

Original poster
Wheetabix · 06/02/2020 10:55

For everyone saying don't message her, I literally wrote in my post I wasn't going to. I'm not immature. I was expressing how I felt.
Also to everyone saying 'why are you looking'? Like I said this was posted in November. So I haven't been 'spying' and even then, I can look at whomever profile I want to:/
I wasn't expecting him to remain single by any means.. doesn't mean I don't or can't think he's a disgusting human because he can make relationships romantically but can't mend with his own child
Like I said, I couldn't be with a man who had kids he didn't see, whatever reason he gave me.
When there's a will there's a way..
Thanks for ops

OP posts:
Original poster
Wheetabix · 06/02/2020 10:57

You are correct though, I am going to block him :) I don't need to know what he does anymore

OP posts:
Clangus00 · 06/02/2020 10:57

@Dragonembroidery Who’s to say she doesn’t know?

TheDeep · 06/02/2020 10:58

It's none of your business to be quite frank.

Original poster
Wheetabix · 06/02/2020 11:00

What's none of my business?
You seem to have posted on the wrong thing.
You don't get to decide whether I care about something or not I'm afraid 🤣

OP posts:
NoSauce · 06/02/2020 11:03

It’s a shame for your DD he’s a twat but she’s better off without him. Glad you’re going to block him.

ShagMeRiggins · 06/02/2020 11:06

Does he pay child support for your daughter?

dayowl · 06/02/2020 11:11

I understand how you feel, when my DC’s dad got a girlfriend I felt shit, although I knew it was completely unreasonable.

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