Sahm's with three or more kids, how do you cope? AIBU to not be loving life?!

[greysunrise]

If you are a stay at home mum with three or more dc what does your day look like?

I'm asking because I have four children ranging from 17 to 1 who live with me and DH full time and a step child who comes at weekends. I am a sham and really struggle to keep on top of things, it's actually got to the point where I've only left the house a handful of times since Christmas (bar school runs) out of fear of getting behind with washing/cleaning/cooking/ admin etc. With so many people in the house if I miss a day of housework/washing it quickly builds up and I pay for it for the rest of the week!

I'm feeling incredibly stressed and as though I am just the facilitator of my DC and DH's lives, not a person in their own right, I feel like an unpaid servant.

How does everyone else cope?!

I'd second going back to work if possible and buying in "help". You will get help your identity and the house will be more organised.

You need to build into your week time for you to do things for yourself - you are a person too. Even those who "stayed at home" of my friends had outside interests - involved with Church, involved in some kind of voluntary work, exercise classes etc.
The ones with the most children had very strict rotas of chores - so the children all helped with the house and tidied up after themselves.

I sympathize. I am a SAHM to 4 children (eldest is 13, youngest is 1). No family to help. DH works very long hours. DC4 is a very clingy baby and sleeps very little. I cannot keep on top of everything and I feel my work is unappreciated. DH seems to think I spend my days on the tablet leaving the mess accumulate while the baby plays contentedly by herself.

I came to say that I work nights and have 3 DC and 2DSC weekends and most of the holidays. I can cope most of the time but the Christmas/Easter/Summer holidays I cannot keep on top of it with 5 instead of 3!

Following for tips or a miracle x 😁

I've got 3 dc, older 2 I'm
A single parent to, they are 13 and 11. Youngest is nearly 2. I have got a dp but he works long hours. When he's home, he's usually doing the jobs I can't like, gardening (always work that needs doing, got loads of hedges etc) or diy round the home, he does look after youngest when I go to my class or need to pop out in the evenings.
I try and do a wash every day. I don't iron, but agree, it is endless for 5 people. Try and plan meals for at least the week. Keep a list handy daily and joy anything down that's needed. Usually go to
One activity/take little one to park. I've signed my youngest up to nursery a couple of sessions a week just so I can have some uninterrupted time to get things done. It is hard tidying with a toddler because they seem to create mess at the same rate you can tidy it! I agree with pp, try and get the older ones to do a job or help more. Must admit I'm crap at enforcing this but it is a good idea.
I also bought a spray mop which I find so much easier to keep the floors clean with.

I have zero tolerance for DC not pulling their weight! The 6yr old can set the table, clear it, put their own laundry away, tidy toys, open and close curtains/blinds... and they are the youngest. You need to get tougher!