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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not have anyone to sign passport?

353 replies

PumpkinP · 05/02/2020 23:46

I am having trouble with thinking who can sign for me and my children’s passports. I am an introvert and have no friends, family limited, but obviously can’t sign, not friends with the neighbours. What can I do? I’m not working atm either so no manager etc

OP posts:
Frownette · 07/02/2020 00:16

Well done OP!

aurynne · 07/02/2020 00:59

PumpkinP, I don't know who has been judgmental on this thread, I can only speak for myself, and what I am is concerned about you and your children. If tomorrow you have an accident at home and became incapacitated, what would happen to your children? How long would it take for anyone to find you or realise you haven't been around? Who would care for your children? I know these questions can feel intrusive, however they can also show concern from fellow human beings.

Original poster
PumpkinP · 07/02/2020 01:34

Oh save your “concern”, I speak to my sister daily. She would come here if she didn’t hear from me. Anyway the dilemma is sorted now.

OP posts:
TweetUsOnFacebook · 07/02/2020 09:50

That's great op, must be such a relief. Enjoy your holiday Flowers

aurynne · 08/02/2020 02:06

"Oh save your “concern”

I start to understand now how you have ended up so isolated. Fine, I will save my concern for someone else.

ClappyFlappy · 08/02/2020 09:59

*Oh save your “concern”

I start to understand now how you have ended up so isolated. Fine, I will save my concern for someone else*

Agreed, how unpleasant. Maybe it’s not because you’re “introverted” that you have no friends.

Frownette · 08/02/2020 10:05

OP was a bit stressed. She found the thread useful though which is the main thing.

Original poster
PumpkinP · 08/02/2020 15:24

Proved my point about the nasty comments. You don’t sound very nice yourself tbh!

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 08/02/2020 15:25

You were very rude to aurynne.

Isleepinahedgefund · 08/02/2020 15:32

I wouldn’t countersign a passport for anyone I didn’t know reasonably well. I’m a civil servant so get asked to fairly frequently - I did it for one mum I know pretty well at school and then word got round. I usually say no unless I know them eg my dd is friends with theirs and I’ve been to their house and I know their last name before I see the passport form. I have a lot to lose from signing one of those forms in the wrong circumstances and I’m not willing to take the chance.

I’m not surprised schools are refusing or charging a fee - they have enough to do and everyone expecting their forms signed (and it won’t be just passport forms) will take up a lot of time. Also they’re signing to say they know you on a personal level, not by virtue of a professional relationship (which is what they have with you).

Original poster
PumpkinP · 08/02/2020 15:49

No one is asking her to post on my thread! Like I said save your concern for someone that wants it.

OP posts:
Original poster
PumpkinP · 08/02/2020 15:51

I wouldn’t countersign a passport for anyone I didn’t know reasonably well. I’m a civil servant so get asked to fairly frequently - I did it for one mum I know pretty well at school and then word got round. I usually say no unless I know them eg my dd is friends with theirs and I’ve been to their house and I know their last name before I see the passport form. I have a lot to lose from signing one of those forms in the wrong circumstances and I’m not willing to take the chance.*

Yes I agree with you, hence why I thought it was odd that people think I should approach school mums who I don’t know or neighbours I’ve never spoken to. Luckily it’s sorted now.

OP posts:
MuchBetterNow · 08/02/2020 15:53

Sorry op but you’re showing yourself up now, it’s fairly obvious why you’ve no friends and a poor relationship with dc school. I hope your dc develop better social skills than you.

Original poster
PumpkinP · 08/02/2020 16:06

The poor relationship with the school is due to disability discrimination that has been happening, nothing to do with my personal life. But thanks for your “concern”

OP posts:
MuchBetterNow · 08/02/2020 16:07

I’m not “concerned”

Original poster
PumpkinP · 08/02/2020 16:12

Good Grin

OP posts:
MRex · 08/02/2020 16:27

I'm still concerned that the children aren't being brought up with normal socialisation levels. I still think you need to start mixing with other humans more @PumpkinP, if you'd like them up grow up as happy well-adjusted individuals then you'd make the effort to get friends for them. Autism doesn't actually mean they can't have friends, the fact they're in mainstream school shows there is as an expectation that they can mix well with other children. If anything, it should mean you're making far more effort to help them to make friends. If you approach people with a big smile and an open attitude, you'd be surprised how many will be ready to help you to change. Start with the school.

Original poster
PumpkinP · 08/02/2020 16:30

Thanks I will take that on board and I do see where you are coming from, I just feel some of the other comments have been judgmental rather than supportive.

OP posts:
Noodledoodledoo · 08/02/2020 16:40

In the past few years the wording has changed so when first became a teacher I could sign students passports as it was the child you had to have know, it is now the parents you have to have known for 2 years (I'm secondary so see parents rarely) I now don't sign students passports but have done friends of my children who I have now known parents for long enough etc.

Some teachers may be happy to sign and not stick to the change of rules but just as they can make that choice others can stick to the rule change.

Also I know a number of pilots, live pretty close to an airport!

MRex · 08/02/2020 16:40

You're quite right, some are, it's the nature of AIBU that you get a broad mix of help and judgement, very few OPs will have no criticism at all. I hope you're feeling OK, it's hard for any of us to hear people challenging how we live our lives but great that you're at least open to thinking about change. Fingers crossed that the first person you approach smiles right back and helps you. X

Disposable81 · 08/02/2020 17:09

I'm sort of in this position with a driving licence. There's a neighbour across the road, whom we're on good enough terms with to exchange Christmas cards. She's a paediatric doctor and we've lived here for well over 2 years; would she be eligible to sign, given she's not my doctor?

Macaroni46 · 08/02/2020 17:12

Doryhunky why the F'ck should teachers give all their private details and their passport number to parents of pupils? It is data protection and I for one will only sign passports for people I know privately.

TweetUsOnFacebook · 08/02/2020 17:23

Disposable81 she could sign, it doesn't have to be YOUR doctor. However, it would be up to her to decide if she knows you well enough. How long have you been neighbours? I have neighbours who I have brief chats with, had a quick coffee in their house once when I was locked out, and we water and mow each others gardens when on holiday and we borrow their hedge trimmer once a year. I'd happily do theirs if asked as I feel I know them well enough.

Twenty2 · 08/02/2020 17:48

@TweetUsOnFacebook We've lived opposite (on a very narrow, single lane road) for almost 10 years. We definitely know each other, say hello in passing, chat a little when we both have time etc. I can only ask, right?!

Twenty2 · 08/02/2020 17:49

Oops, namechange fail Blush

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