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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to not belive a word he says?

34 replies

FroggyGreen · 05/02/2020 06:12

So I caught out (no longer d)p lying to me recently. Caused a big argument but things settled down. Now I have caught him out booking a hotel room for a couple of hours and telling me he was elsewhere. He came clean about it only because I had solid evidence. He says he booked an "escort" but they "didn't show up". He says it was a one off and he's never done this before. He says he did it on a whim. He says I shouldn't be upset because "it's not like it was an emotional affair". He says "I promise I'm telling the truth" and expects me to give him a chance.
It's all lies, isn't it?
He has destroyed any trust I ever had in him and thus destroyed our little family.

OP posts:
Thehop · 05/02/2020 06:15

Jesus no! He’s a lying cheating cock nostril who will do it again. You’ve don’t the right thing.

TurtleCavalryIsSeriousShit · 05/02/2020 06:19

If you believe him this time, next time's lies will be even bigger. Don't. Stop it now. He's an arsehole and you deserve better!

3rdchristmaslucky · 05/02/2020 06:22

@Thehop

Cock nostril

Bwahahaha

AnyFucker · 05/02/2020 06:22

You must be desperate to even be asking the question

northernknickers · 05/02/2020 06:29

You need to ask?? 🤦‍♀️

Original poster
FroggyGreen · 05/02/2020 06:31

I am desperate. It's a very complicated situation. I suspect this has been happening for a long time. It's not something anyone would do on a whim. I might buy a lottery ticket on a whim....not pay someone for sex!

OP posts:
user1493413286 · 05/02/2020 06:31

Whether he’s telling the truth or not the intention was there and does it actually matter if she didn’t turn up when on his explanation he would have slept with her if she had.

HopeYouStepOnALego · 05/02/2020 06:35

They didn't show up

No of course they didn't. If you believe that part you'll believe anything!

If you've slept with him since then go get yourself an STD test. In fact, get one any way as he could well have done this before. Then gather up your self respect and bin the twat.

How tacky is booking a hotel room for a couple of hours - ugh!

Shoxfordian · 05/02/2020 06:45

I hope he's your ex

stayingontherail · 05/02/2020 06:46

Booking an hotel room and booking an escort = planning. It was planned, not a whim.

TurtleCavalryIsSeriousShit · 05/02/2020 06:49

@FroggyGreen, why is it complicated? How long have you been together?

stayingontherail · 05/02/2020 06:49

Also, he was going to ruin your relationship “on a whim”. Does he think that because she/he didn’t show up it doesn’t count/he’s off the hook?

Lifeonmars77 · 05/02/2020 06:52

He says you shouldn't be upset?? What planet did he just fly in from??

Tell him he won't mind if you book a hunky male escort for yourself then, I mean it's not emotional!

If he's done it once (that you know of) he'll do it again. What a prick.

Get rid, you deserve better Flowers

DonKeyshot · 05/02/2020 06:54

He's a misogynistic sleaze bag who pays random women for sex.

Does he have a dirty mac and a trilby hat?

These creatures men turn my stomach. You may believe he's destroyed your little family, OP, but you'll be far better off without this disgusting lying arsewipe in your life.

CalleighDoodle · 05/02/2020 06:58

He is a cheat and a liar.

Original poster
FroggyGreen · 05/02/2020 07:01

No it doesn't matter whether they turned up or not. I don't even think he did hire someone. I think it's an affair but in his mind he thought a "one off escort" would be more forgiveable.

TurtleCavalryIsSeriousShit
Almost 10 years. There are children. I have no income.

OP posts:
RLOU30 · 05/02/2020 07:08

Of course the escort turned up. (Lie 1)
Did it on a whim? So, booking a hotel room and an escort isn’t planning now? (Lie 2)
I’ve never done it before (I would be happy to wager a bet that this is Lie 3)
“I promise I’m telling the truth” well now he is just lying about, well lying (Lie 4)
And all this after lied to you recently ? No you can’t trust him. Put simply he is filth.

What is the complicated situation OP? We can try to help you Flowers

RLOU30 · 05/02/2020 07:10

X post OP I didn’t realise you suspected an affair
Booking a hotel room for 2 hours with his side-piece. classy.

Ginfordinner · 05/02/2020 07:15

So he gets to have his cake and eat it. Is there any way you can get a job?

Franticbutterfly · 05/02/2020 07:16

This man is never going to Improve. If you can live with feeling like shit, no trust and foolish for the rest of your days believe his lies. If you want a better life for yourself, boot him out. It won’t be easy financially but it’ll work out in the end. You deserve much much better.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 05/02/2020 07:24

You know he's a liar and a cheat OP. I'm sorry x

NomDeQwerty · 05/02/2020 07:25

You're in shock and panic mode.
He's a cheater. Get yourself STI tested and don't have sex with him again.
Chump Lady website/book is very helpful.

TurtleCavalryIsSeriousShit · 05/02/2020 07:27

I'm so sorry. There must be something you could do to get out of this. Have you looked at what benefits you can get?

Original poster
FroggyGreen · 05/02/2020 07:31

Ginfordinner

So he gets to have his cake and eat it. Is there any way you can get a job?

I've been job hunting for ages but getting rejected locally due to over qualifications and lack of relevant experience. I will only be able to work part-time as there's no family locally to help out with the kids, so even if I find something it will be minimal pay.

OP posts:
CalleighDoodle · 05/02/2020 07:33

Op if you decided on a whim right now to book an escort, for the first time ever, how long would it take you to do, and by the end of arranging it, would you still class it as a whim?

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