To be upset about dp fathers comments

[furrybadger]

Absolutely raging right now, so my partners just said his dad keeps asking when we’re having a baby, he’s told his dad that we’ve been trying for about 5 years and apparently his dad has said the reason I can’t get pregnant is because I’m too fat and need to loose weight, like what the actual fuck ! I’m so fucking angry I’m crying and my partner can’t understand what the big deal is I know I need to loose weight I’ve lost 20lb so far but I just don’t get what the fuck my weight has to do with his dad, AIBU to have sat and cried for the last 3 hours 😔

Regardless of the anecdotes about thin people who didn't get pregnant, or fat people who did, the reality is that being overweight/obese has a huge impact on fertility.

Women with a body mass index (BMI) above 27 are three times more likely than women in the normal weight range to be unable to conceive because they don’t ovulate.

Women who are overweight or obese are much less likely to conceive.
Many women who carry excess weight still ovulate, but it appears the quality of the eggs they produce is reduced. The evidence for this is that among women who ovulate, each unit of BMI above 29 reduces the chance of achieving a pregnancy within 12 months by about 4%.

This means that for a woman with a BMI of 35, the likelihood of getting pregnant within a year is 26% lower, and for a woman with a BMI of 40 it is 43% lower compared with women with a BMI between 21 and 29.

theconversation.com/how-does-being-overweight-affect-my-fertility-95224

So - maybe you're upset because you know there's truth in what he's saying?

. Maybe OP's FIL also simply asked if everything was okay but his son was open and forthcoming.

Maybe - but since Op says that the FIL 'keeps asking' when they are having a baby, it's more likely that he is a nosy person who wants to know other people's business.

Your dp is the one to blame here and I'm appalled that he thought it appropriate to share that information with you.

Anyway, you don't know how the conversation went. For all you know, they might have been talking and your dp might have suggested your weight as an infertility problem and his dad said something like 'oh well, maybe'. After all, men don't like to think that the problem might lie with them, do they?

Sorry, but if you open someone else's post by accident - and it can happen, I've done it - you STOP READING - the instant you realise your mistake. You fold the letter back up, sellotape the envelope and immediately contact the person to apologise and assure them you did not read the entire letter.
You do not continue reading and then quiz the person about what is going on in their personal life.

Boundaries. Laws. Decency. Respect. Integrity.

Do these words still have any meaning for some people?