Hate being the only woman at work

[ohhkay]

Its bringing me down. I'm 22 working in finance after uni.

Just need advice. I laugh along some times theyllrmy jokes, a lot of the time they'll ignore me.

I went to an all female private school and studied psych at uni (female heavy)

Life is too short. If you are the only woman it says everything about their attitude towards women, never mind the behaviour you experience.

Find another job.

I'm constantly initiating conversation/asking q. No one gives a fuck about me

Well, if that's how you feel then of course YANBU. Personally, I prefer working with guys, always find it less bitchy and stressful but it's whatever floats your boat. How long have you been there for? New jobs always take a while to settle in to, maybe you just need to give it more time, especially if you have been used to lots of female company.

They're all in their own club it seems

Are they excluding you though or just busy? Some days here when we're all busy we don't say a word, maybe they dont have time for chit chat? Is this your first job in this sort of environment. I imagine any job after uni is a shock.

I’m the only woman in my company (in a very male dominated industry) and I’m a director.

I love it! I’ve hated every job where I’ve had to work with women as it’s always been gossipy, bitchy and cliquey (not a generalisation - EVERY job I’ve had has been like this). Men are far easier to work with.

I went to an all female private school as well.

What type of finance?

It’s hard, I work in finance too and it’s an absolute sausage fest.

i’m the only woman as well (studied psychology as well), and have been for 5 years. it gets easier with time, and you’ll get to no enjoy the benefits (more directness , less bitchyness).

What kind of finance? Grad scheme? Is it a case of being put through a qualification by the employer and then you're free to go anywhere?

Best job I ever had was all blokes. We had a couple of guys working weekends during the busy season and when the boss was arranging the staff Christmas party, one of the weekend guys asked were wives and girlfriends included. When the boss said no the weekender nodded at me and said ‘ what about her?’ Boss looked at me and said ‘Convict? She’s a bloke’.

I was never quite sure whether to be insulted by him thinking of me like that or relieved to be considered a full team member.

One thing for sure was that I was very insulted by weekender boy thinking his 8 Saturdays a year gave him higher status than my 5 days/ 52 weeks. Arse.

I have never found women to be bitchy - genuinely

I am also the only woman in my current office, and have almost always worked in very male dominated fields (physics/electronics). Apart from the stinky communal toilet I really like it. We never do cards or presents or enforced colleague entertainment, but we frequently pop out for a chippy lunch or a swift half after work with no obligations if in the mood. Bliss.

I just feel left out tbh.

As long as they weren't hitting on me, I would love it!

how long are you in your current role? Are they also alot older than you ? I have worked many years as being the only female in my dpearatmnet. I try and find friends in other departments if you can.This will help you have someone to go for a cup of coffee etc with As other peopl have said some female deparatmnets can be very bitchy (Something i have found all through the years). You will find though as you settle in there will be males you can have the crack with and get on etc. They are also more direct and can be very helpful. Go onto work, do your hours and do your work. Concentrate on your life outside of work and make sure you have something to look forward to be it a night out or a quick catch up over coffee. Give it time and it wll settle

I had this, I hated it and left after five months. I could have had a lot in common with them but they weren't interested in talking to me (even when I tried really hard to integrate). It was a really miserable time.

YADNBU.

I think the problem is you’re working with fuckwits, not what sex they are - i work in a tech firm as admin - i’m the only woman (stereotypically). But my colleagues are all grown ups - polite, kind, not cliquy, and good to work with.

They're intelligent guys but I would be sat in silence if I weren't making small talk on night outs etc

I think the people you work with are the issue and not their sex. I’ve always worked in an environment where it’s a 10:90 - 20:80 ratio of women to men. And it’s always been fine.

Although, as a sweeping generalisation, I’ve always found it easier to get on with men at work than women.

I'd work with men over women any day of the week! (also went to an all girl's school but that said I'm not really a girly girl)

I'm just about to come to the end of my grad scheme.

I've had a bit of perviness from the older guys but get ignored unless I'm directly engaging with my contemparies.

I know how you feel! I think it takes some getting used to. How long you been there?

I work mainly with women. I miss having men around at work tbh.

That sounds really tough, but like others have said, it sounds more like the office culture/people than it being all men. That said, I've always worked in very female dominated jobs and love it, so I think I'd also dislike being the only woman.

Have you been there a lot less time than them? I wonder if over time it might get better as you get to know everyone more. I guess it's also busy season now for you if you work in finance - hopefully as and when things calm down a bit, everyone will be more inclined to socialise with you.