Hate being the only woman at work

[ohhkay]

Its bringing me down. I'm 22 working in finance after uni.

Been here for a year but always thought I was the problem

I've always worked in places with a good mix of both. Now I work in an organisation of 100% women. I run out of things to talk about quite quickly tbh

The group I'm thinking about have been at my company for 3 years.

My first job I was the only woman and it was hard. They didn't ignore me though.
I went to a lot of women's networking events and had female heavy hobbies (choir, gym classes) to balance things out.
I'd been a minority through sixth form and uni but never the only one before.
Has this been for just one rotation? Will you move on to a better office or will this be your perm job area?

I work in IT which has generally been a male dominated industry.

I much prefer working with Men than Women. At least with most men you know where you stand, there is no bitchiness etc.

I suppose it does help that I'm naturally interested in sport, cars and video games - which is probably why I prefer working with men than women as I can't chat about female stuff.

I work in a very women heavy environment and I love it. The craic is good, the sense of sisterhood is fantastic and I don't miss working with men at all. Do I like everyone - no, but I respect them and don't find it to be bitchy at all. But I am a bit older, and most of the women I work with are over 35 so I wonder if that changes the vibe a bit.

I would feel very lonely in your position OP.

YANBU. I have worked in similar environment and I found it very depressing. I agree with a PP that the fact that you are the only woman is in itself telling as it suggests there is some discrimination in hiring. Honestly, I would get what you can out of the roll and look to move somewhere with a more supportive and progressive culture and more diverse workforce. Realistically, there may be a limited amount you can do to change the culture of this workplace from a junior role. In the meantime, just try not to let it get you down and keep ties with friends so you don't feel too isolated. Good luck.

I've just retired from a career in which about 95% of my colleagues have been male

• STEM R&D in industry

It's never bothered me, because nearly all my colleagues whether male or female, have been friendly & cooperative

Also please don't feel that it may be you who is the problem. Given that I presume you have not felt this in every environment you have been in, I would trust in your own instincts, and if you are feeling ignored and left out then it's probably because you are! It's the fault of a toxic office culture, not you, that you are feeling this. Don't listen to people suggesting that somehow working women at work are all bitchy and men are all straightforward. What a sexist generalisation. Life's too short to be unhappy at work, and not all offices are like this: I would look into changing roles asap.

This notion that all women are bitchy is totally foreign to me.

I just think they have their in jokes and they dont want to slow down their banter to include me

Not all women are bitches. I have worked in all female environments that were not bitchy. I now work in STEM. Men bitch too, its called banter.

Sounds horrible OP, and in your shoes I'd be looking at finding another job.

To all the PP saying how bitchyyyy and cliqueyyyy women are - damn, well done you. You're TOTALLY not like the OTHER girls, oh no. You're practically a bloke, like, and soooo cooool. eyeroll /s

So yeah, OP, I'd be out of there like a bat out of hell. In fact, being surrounded by dudes and nothing but dudes sounds like... well, hell. Find another job, OP, and get yourself some female company. Less drama, less perviness, less dick wagging and more good old fashioned ovarian solidarity.

@mauvaisereputation has it spot on, it sounds as though your colleagues really aren't making the effort or are too used to the 'boys' club' atmosphere too try and be more inclusive. Have you got female friends outside work who you'd be able to spend time with? It's so easy to isolate yourself when you're feeling a bit rubbish at work and that's the last thing you need right now.

I agree with you about not recognising women heavy environments as being bitchy, it's lazy sexism.

If you're coming to the end of your grad scheme, now would be a really good time to move on, wouldn't it?

I think it is time for you to move jobs to somewhere that has a culture that suits you better. I really value working with people who want to get on and so I make sure that's a big focus of my interviews. I always ask about team culture, bonding and dynamics.

Stick it out till the end of your grad scheme then move.

It doesn't suit you so I would move on if I were you.

I had this in a job I was in, it was awful, I left.

I find it very depressing that so many people continue to believe that women are bitches at work. The worst people I've worked with have nearly all been men, bitchy, competitive, aggressive, claiming credit for other's work, sexist, misogynistic, bullying, harrassment, led by their dicks etc, etc. I have worked with other men and women who are supportive, generous, creative, funny, intelligent. It is not determined by sex.

OP if these men are excluding you socially you can either build supportive networks outside work and a) complain and b) become very assertive at work to break down their barriers. Or you look for another job in a more supportive working environment. Life is too short to work with a bunch of bastards.

You don't like your job. Doesn't matter why.

Any reason you can't look for another one?

To all the PP saying how bitchyyyy and cliqueyyyy women are - damn, well done you. You're TOTALLY not like the OTHER girls, oh no. You're practically a bloke, like, and soooo cooool. eyeroll

Whereas you on the other hand are soooooo... oh yeah! You ARE bitchy. Glad I'm not sexist enough to think that all women are as bitchy as you are.

Perhaps do a bit less stereotyping and a bit less eye rolling and you might not come across less like a 13 year old.

OP for what it's worth, I think you're just working with arseholes. I'm the only woman at work too and the guys here are great. Cant put a teabags in the bin without splattering the whole kitchen, mind, but they're all nice and two have even become close friends. It's not because they're men, they're just bell ends.