His selfishness or I’m hormonal

[Thetirednessisreal]

Gggrrrr twin babies at 11 weeks

Looks like another night on the sofa for me with the babies as they are so unsettled. He is leaving for the morning for a min to fri course with work that lasts three weeks back on friday evenings.

I spent today in hospital getting tests done as I am unwell now it all turned out fine but I’m very very run down. He did his hobby and left the kids with his mum while I sat in hospital all morning and early afternoon then got home and he had to get packed for his course which took 2 hours so I sorted dinner and bath time for the kids. Finally sat down at 9 and the babies then wanted fed. He then said to me at 11 ‘I need to get to bed I’m up at 6am’ he seems to forget so am I as we also have a 6 year old so I have to do the school run. There’s no point telling me to sleep when the babies do as they don’t sleep during the day just wee cat naps. I am exhausted, run down and so resentful that again he is away into our lovely bed and I’m out on the sofa watching tv to try and keep me awake with the babies. Aibu to think he is selfish tonight as he knows I’m not well

Agreed he’s a selfish prick, and needs to step up. Hobbies indeed, and only THEN starting on his two hour packing when he could have been giving you a break.

So sad to hear you say “maybe I’ll be worthy of proper sleep” when you get back to work Making you doubt your self worth. Also “only a and e”. That’s a big deal and you have obviously been made to feel your health isn’t important. Is he abusive in other ways?

when he's back on Friday you need to hand off the babies and go sleep. Because with a clear head maybe you can think

^^^^▪^^^^

Now you know why his last relationship ended. He'll never change, hence, the unbreakable 'hobby' and having to travel for work for 3 weeks. Do not quit your job! You need it. Quit him instead.

It’s not so bad in the night if you have the support in the day. DS is 15 weeks and DH is fab during the evening and weekends but I let him sleep every work night.

Do you have twins?

If DH hadn’t helped through the night I’d have been sectioned before they were 4 months old. They never slept at the same time, I’d have had to feed one, change one, get them back to sleep, pump and then I’d be lucky to even lie down before the other woke up. Couldn’t sleep in the day either for the same reason. Are you honestly suggesting that OP goes five days straight every week with almost no sleep, while in charge of two infants?

In order to safely take care of two babies you have to be a) conscious and b) not delirious or having hallucinations or c) falling asleep standing up / while holding a baby on the sofa.

The only way I found to manage tiny, breadtfed twins through the night was to break the biggest law of all; the one that says "Never wake a sleeping baby."

When one woke, I fed and changed it (if it needed changing - they don't always!) and then I woke the other. You need those babies in phase with each other! I had a few startled looks in the small hours but I got my sleep in chunks that lasted more than an hour. Before that I was getting 20 minutes at a time, max.

As soon as they were big enough for a bit of almost co-sleeping (one crib beside the bed, one at the end) I was off the sofa and back in my own comfy bed. I fed them, he got them in and out and changed them. I never left the bed. 😉