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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to expect more of a thank you?

29 replies

Surrey93 · 02/02/2020 21:52

A close friend recently bought her first house. We have been redoing our house so offered some of our furniture (all only 1 or 2 years old at most) as a moving present to save her having to spend money. We could have sold the furniture for over £1000 all together so I thought it was a really generous gift but was happy to help my friend. (Gave a sofa, coffee table, tv stand and arm chair for context so pretty much kitted out her living room for free with good quality furniture).

She came and collected the furniture on Tuesday and I wasn’t expecting her to make a huge deal but a thank you would have been nice. She just turned up with her dad, loaded the furniture and said bye. I figured she would be busy this week moving in so I waited and text her Friday evening to ask how the move went etc and still no mention of the furniture or a thank you. She just said ‘yeah good thanks’ and changed the topic.

AIBU to expect more of an acknowledgement of the gift? I know I chose to give her those things but if it was the other way round I actually would have sent a thank you card and maybe even a gift. But I have not even received a text to say they appreciate us helping her out. I just feel a bit let down by a really good friend and feel like this happens every time I go out of my way to do something nice for someone!!

OP posts:
crustycrab · 03/02/2020 08:03

She obviously should've said thank you but all this "wouldn't be offended" stuff is confusing. Why not just be straight with her?

You absolutely wouldn't have got £1000 for it either. £150 tops.

livefornaps · 03/02/2020 16:52

She sounds like an absolute butt-cunt

Puzzledandpissedoff · 03/02/2020 17:06

she said she would want it if we didn’t manage to sell it
I even text her ... to say I wouldn’t be offended if she would rather buy new stuff ... but she said she would actually rather have our stuff because she wouldn’t be able to afford as nice furniture

I thought her rude from your first post, but with your update it's just awful since manners cost nothing

At least you now know to give her nothing in future though ...

FilledSoda · 03/02/2020 17:37

The scenario is quite different to how I pictured it.
She asked you for the furniture essentially, that was a bit off , she should have made you an offer when you said you planned to sell it .
Why did you muddy the waters with ' won't be offended ' remark ?
It makes no sense in the context of her actively asking you for the stuff and actually makes it look as though she was doing you a favour and you were thanking her Confused.
You should have said , ' yes I'm happy to let you have it .'

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