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Original poster

What to do when the teacher doesn’t want to teach your child?

137 replies

RhodaCamel · 02/02/2020 16:33

Ds is 14, in year 9 and working towards his GCSE’s in the subjects he has chosen.
Last week we had his parents evening. He is mainly doing ok with most teachers saying he is progressing on an average level and a nice pupil to teach.
He would like to be a gaming developer as a career and really has closed down all other career options as this is all he says he wants to do.
He chose computing as one of his subjects and as far as I was concerned he was enjoying the lesson and doing ok.
During the parents evening we met with the teacher who teaches the computing lessons. I had high hopes for the feedback as like I say ds loves all aspects of computing and sees this path as his future.
However, the feedback from the teacher was completely and utterly negative. He says ds isn’t interested, he says he has tried to engage him and is not getting anywhere with him (this is the first I have heard about this since he started this lesson in September, no contact from the teacher at all!). Everything was so negative and the teacher seemed totally uninterested tbh. I said to him that if this is the case then I really don’t think it’s worth wasting his or more importantly my ds’s time or future and that maybe ds would be better off moving to a different lesson/subject all together. The teacher virtually bit my hand off at that suggestion and said absolutely that was exactly what he had been thinking.
I just don’t know what to do now tbh ot only because this is all news to me but because ds is distraught, he says there is nothing else he wants to do and he really wants to continue with this lesson, I’ve said he needs to up the game then but he is adamant that the teacher is of no help to him.
Imo, the teacher did seem totally disinterested and at this rate it will be a complete waste of ds time to spend the next 3 years with this person.
I don’t know what to think, surely a good teacher wouldn’t be writing off a pupil 4 months in and should be doing everything possible to help and encourage learning and bringing the parents to attention if this is happening. He really appeared to have no go in him, he appeared tired, lethargic and discouraged tbh.
Where do I go from here? I have ds digging his heels in saying he wants to stay in the class but in his opinion the teacher isn’t teaching well or giving him any encouragement.
What shall I do now? What would you do? What should be my next step? Talk to the year head?

OP posts:
WaggleWiggle · 02/02/2020 16:43

It’s more of a pupil/subject matter than a pastoral issue so I’d contact the Head of Department rather than the Head of Year.

I think it’s poor that if your son is so disaffected that this hasn’t been mentioned to you at all in the past five months, so I’d be asking the HOD to ascertain what steps have been taken by the teacher to address the situation before he/she met you at parents’ evening.

I’ve been a Deputy Head and I know HODs will be unimpressed if dropping a subject is suddenly discussed five months into a term without any warning flags being raised prior to that!

Decorhate · 02/02/2020 16:44

Yes I would make an appointment to talk to the HOY next. If you know any parents with kids in that class you could also try to find out how they are finding the teacher.

There may be a reason for the teacher bring negative so go in with an open mind - it is not uncommon for kids to work really well for every teacher apart from one in my experience. It can be for a variety of reasons but if the pupil, for example, feels that the teacher is not knowledgeable enough, they can lose respect for the teacher & then not work properly in class. Or it could be a clash of personalities.

If your ds does not want to give up this subject, it might be possible to get him moved into another class (if they have more than one Computer Science teacher). Or if your ds can work quietly in class & stay under the radar, maybe getting a tutor would be the solution.

Coincidentally my ds recently had a parents evening where the Computer Science teacher was very defeatist & didn’t think he could improve his grade whereas every other teacher was very encouraging...

WaggleWiggle · 02/02/2020 16:44

Please excuse my terrible grammar above btw - had very little sleep last night!

FlashingLights101 · 02/02/2020 16:46

It's hard to know which version is more accurate, but I would suggest as a first step that your son redoubles his efforts in that class, and maybe even try and have another word with the teacher and tell him how much your son loves computing and that he will be making much more of an effort. Perhaps this will encourage the teacher to notice him more and give him extra help if he needs it.

I'd give it another month or so personally, but I think it's important your son realises a lot of this will hinge on his efforts too. Not suggesting he is disinterested, but perhaps he has come across this way to the teacher without realising it.

saraclara · 02/02/2020 16:48

Are you sure he had the right person? I've known teachers who aren't all that good at recalling which pupil is which Confused

saraclara · 02/02/2020 16:51

Seriously, I'd suggest that your son speaks to him at the end of the next lesson, and ask what he's doing wrong. If the teacher is bewildered or says he didn't say that, you might have your answer.

I've actually known this happen in subjects where the teacher sees hundreds of different kids a week.

Angharad07 · 02/02/2020 16:53

If that’s your son’s passion then I’d do everything in my power to facilitate it. I was often told my grades were disappointing in my chosen subjects in school. Nevertheless, I received As in my external exams. Teacher bias can be an awful thing. I was a late developer and behind in year 7 and 8, by the time I caught up in year 9 the teachers didn’t want to know!

Original poster
RhodaCamel · 02/02/2020 16:56

Thank you all. I will see if I can have a meeting with both HOY and HOD to discuss this further.
Decorhate wonder if its the same school!? It was the same with us, we were doing so well and then saw the computer science teacher last and it completely threw me with his feedback on ds, I even asked if he had got the correct pupil!!
Tbh, even though this was the first time I had met this teacher he did not make a great impression on me, maybe he was having a bad day or personal problems but if his attitude towards teaching is the same as his persona at parents evening then I have no faith in him.

OP posts:
Original poster
RhodaCamel · 02/02/2020 16:56

saraclara that was my first thought, I even asked him that!

OP posts:
CherryPavlova · 02/02/2020 16:57

Is there a possibility that your son feels he knows about computing so doesn’t engage with the essential curriculum stuff? It seems odd a teacher would dismiss an enthusiastic and hardworking pupil.
Maybe your son enjoys computer games but not the work to get the underpinning knowledge for a career. Is he thinking programming or animation?
Is he thinking of A levels that include maths, physics, computing and technology?
I suspect computer games development is quite competitive. Has he joined a computer club or looked at what he needs to reach his goal or does he think it’s just playing games?
Is he (or are you) beginning to look for strong work experience in related fields?
I would have thought if he absolutely knew what he wanted to aim for that computer studies should be his strongest subject. Is average achievement enough to get the A levels he wants?

Original poster
RhodaCamel · 02/02/2020 16:58

Anghara07 that’s why I want to step in now, I really want to do the best for him, it’s not a great school tbh and has lots of changes and teachers leaving, I don’t want the school failing him.

OP posts:
Hopoindown31 · 02/02/2020 16:59

I suspect that the reality of learning code and computer science is not quite what your DS had pictured in "game development". Does he code much at home?

MidnightVelvet9 · 02/02/2020 17:01

I'd suggest a conversation with the teacher but also one with your DS, you seem to be blaming the teacher for his disinterest but not talking to DS about it properly. I know you said your DS wasn't feeling encouraged but is he actually being difficult to engage, is he trying in class, is he doing the work that's required... I have a DS in Year 10 and know sometimes that he can not be arsed and can be silly. Teenagers can be odd at times.

Original poster
RhodaCamel · 02/02/2020 17:02

CherryPavlova you may well be right there, he may have bitten off more than he can chew iyswim? I need a serious sit down with ds, teacher and HOD to find out where we can put this right etc and what avenues we can explore etc.

OP posts:
zonkin · 02/02/2020 17:04

Gaming developer is fairly niche (I am a different type of developer). I think narrowing down one's choices at such a young age to a niche market is not advisable.

Also most of the gaming development is not done in this country, so not a high demand job at all.

zonkin · 02/02/2020 17:05

Also computer scientist graduates are 10 a penny these days.

noblegiraffe · 02/02/2020 17:05

What did your DS say about being completely disengaged and negative in lessons? Is this true? In which case if he wants to keep up computing he needs a rocket up his arse?

Wolfiefan · 02/02/2020 17:06

I agree with Hop. I wonder if he chose the subject but it wasn’t the exciting and obvious training for his chosen career that he hoped for so he hasn’t been working and has been being basically a PITA. (Can happen when kids decide early that they want one job and one job only.)
But in that case why haven’t you received any report or even a phone call to suggest there is an issue? No detentions? No notes in planner?

slipperywhensparticus · 02/02/2020 17:08

I had this at school the teacher didnt wish to teach me treated me like I was a smart arse if I got the question right the only time I got a decent mark was with an external marked paper or a substitute teacher she refused to have me for her gcse course as I clearly wasnt interested in the subject it was home economics and I was going to catering college after GCSEs 🤷‍♀️

Original poster
RhodaCamel · 02/02/2020 17:08

MidnightVelvet at 14 he does have his moments and more than likely can be disengaged when bored and is more than likely more interested in the fun side of things. I am not shifting the blame to the teacher, I am fully aware what a difficult job teaching teens can be but I was not impressed at parents evening, his attitude was piss poor if I’m completely honest and I am very disappointed that this is the first contact I have had with this teacher. If things are as bad as he is portraying then he should have contacted me to discuss this sooner NOT during a 10 minute parents evening session in a crowded and noisy sports hall! He gave me the absolute impression that he couldn’t care less about my sons education.

OP posts:
noblegiraffe · 02/02/2020 17:12

And yet he’s the computing teacher and if you complain and he quits, there isn’t someone amazing waiting in the wings to replace him. So maybe you need to tell your DS to pull his finger out.

Original poster
RhodaCamel · 02/02/2020 17:13

Wolfiefan I am beginning to wonder. But I am so disappointed that there has been absolutely no contact before now, that is what I am most frustrated about, how can dh and I help our child without feedback?

OP posts:
lazylinguist · 02/02/2020 17:16

I don't want to put down your son's choice of career, and maybe I'm wide of the mark, but tbh for obvious reasons gazillions of teenage boys want to be games developers. I've heard so many say that's what they want to do, and I teach an entirely unrelated subject. I imagine that your ds' computing teacher hears this constantly, often from kids who love the idea of developing games but aren't remotely interested in the GCSE computing syllabus. Obviously the teacher should still be trying to engage the kids, but from what he said, he has been trying to engage your ds. There's no way the teacher would be encouraging your ds to change to another subject if your ds were actually trying and doing the work.

Phineyj · 02/02/2020 17:19

It could well be a personality clash. Go in with an open mind and see what you can discover. You could also buy the CGP revision guide for the appropriate syllabus and test DS to see what he's learnt so far.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 02/02/2020 17:23

It seems odd a teacher would dismiss an enthusiastic and hardworking pupil ... maybe your son enjoys computer games but not the work to get the underpinning knowledge for a career

I'm another who was wondering about this, and your update that he can disengage when bored / is more interested in the fun bits might seem to back it up. The closing down of other options is a bit of a red flag too at just 14, especially if he's not keen to put in the grunt work around all he does want to do

I'd be disappointed it's only just been raised, though, and like your idea of talking it through with DS, the teacher and the HoD - but I'd keep an open mind and be ready to accept that this might not be the route for him, if his only interest really is in playing the games