Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

What to do when the teacher doesn’t want to teach your child?

137 replies

RhodaCamel · 02/02/2020 16:33

Ds is 14, in year 9 and working towards his GCSE’s in the subjects he has chosen.
Last week we had his parents evening. He is mainly doing ok with most teachers saying he is progressing on an average level and a nice pupil to teach.
He would like to be a gaming developer as a career and really has closed down all other career options as this is all he says he wants to do.
He chose computing as one of his subjects and as far as I was concerned he was enjoying the lesson and doing ok.
During the parents evening we met with the teacher who teaches the computing lessons. I had high hopes for the feedback as like I say ds loves all aspects of computing and sees this path as his future.
However, the feedback from the teacher was completely and utterly negative. He says ds isn’t interested, he says he has tried to engage him and is not getting anywhere with him (this is the first I have heard about this since he started this lesson in September, no contact from the teacher at all!). Everything was so negative and the teacher seemed totally uninterested tbh. I said to him that if this is the case then I really don’t think it’s worth wasting his or more importantly my ds’s time or future and that maybe ds would be better off moving to a different lesson/subject all together. The teacher virtually bit my hand off at that suggestion and said absolutely that was exactly what he had been thinking.
I just don’t know what to do now tbh ot only because this is all news to me but because ds is distraught, he says there is nothing else he wants to do and he really wants to continue with this lesson, I’ve said he needs to up the game then but he is adamant that the teacher is of no help to him.
Imo, the teacher did seem totally disinterested and at this rate it will be a complete waste of ds time to spend the next 3 years with this person.
I don’t know what to think, surely a good teacher wouldn’t be writing off a pupil 4 months in and should be doing everything possible to help and encourage learning and bringing the parents to attention if this is happening. He really appeared to have no go in him, he appeared tired, lethargic and discouraged tbh.
Where do I go from here? I have ds digging his heels in saying he wants to stay in the class but in his opinion the teacher isn’t teaching well or giving him any encouragement.
What shall I do now? What would you do? What should be my next step? Talk to the year head?

OP posts:

RedskyAtnight · 02/02/2020 17:26

Also wondering if the subject isn't what he expected. DS is taking GCSE computer science and there are only about 5 students in his class who have a genuine interest in the subject - the rest took it because they thought it would be messing about on computers. If your DC is in such a class and is one of the disinterested, I can see why the teacher reacted as he did! Programming is only one aspect of the course - there is a lot of theory to learn and quite a lot of difficult concepts to get your head around.

DS's teacher is teaching the course fully but many of the students are on track to fail - at the end of the day, it's up to students to decide to make the most of the opportunity they have.

WaterSheep · 02/02/2020 17:27

ds is distraught, he says there is nothing else he wants to do and he really wants to continue with this lesson, I’ve said he needs to up the game then but he is adamant that the teacher is of no help to him.

To me this doesn't sound like he disagrees with what the teacher is saying. His belief that the teacher is of no help to him doesn't necessarily mean the same thing as the teacher isn't teaching him. It may mean that he's not learning what he feels he needs to develop games.

Being distraught could also indicate that he perhaps knows he's not doing his best, and is embarrassed that you've found out. If it was a genuine shock to him as well, then surely he would be confused about what the teacher has said.

RedskyAtnight · 02/02/2020 17:29

Did you not have at least an end of term report at Christmas? No test results? I think communication at secondary school can be minimal unless your DC is going really badly or is very misbehaved, so you do have to read between the lines a bit. As i said in my previous post, if the computer science teacher is used to a class where loads of the students aren't that interested, it may not have occurred to him to flag your DS as anything out of the ordinary.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 02/02/2020 17:31

It could be lots of things, but I'm pretty sure it's not because the teacher doesn't 'want' to teach your child.

We had a very similar situation with DH and graphic design (offered as an S3 subject here). He loves computing and wants to do something in computing, so thought it would be a good option for him to broaden his experience. He hated it, couldn't engage with the subject at all and in fact was a complete PITA.

The difference for us though was that we had regular communication about it - and you are right that this should have been flagged before parents night. That's definitely something worth talking to the HOY or head of subject about. But don't go in there all guns blazing assuming your DS has been giving anything like his best in the classes.

Ellmau · 02/02/2020 17:38

What is DS's maths like? Maths A level is usually essential for CS.

Flibbitygibbit · 02/02/2020 17:39

My DS is a games tester. He did Media Studies at uni. Did A levels in film, English Lit, Media and Art. Only did computer studies to gcse.

Piggywaspushed · 02/02/2020 17:40

OP, rightly or wrongly, the only time a class teacher HAS to contact you is via reports and at a parents' evening. That is the formal opportunity.

You, on the other hand, see your DS every day and HE hasn't mentioned to you before this teacher, the lessons, his boredom, his disengagement? I find it odd that this has not been communicated to you by your child.

It is not too late for him to turn things around. But he has to want to.

Piggywaspushed · 02/02/2020 17:43

Also most of the gaming development is not done in this country, so not a high demand job at all.

That is not true. Edinburgh is a huge centre for games development.

TimeForPlentyIn2020 · 02/02/2020 17:46

The chances of a teacher wanting rid of a student who works hard and is actively engaged is zero. Unless said student is also a massive twat in some way.

So if your son is saying he works hard, is engaged during lessons and is not acting like a massive twat, he is lying to you or lacking self awareness in some way.

Also, he needs to be as focussed on subjects like maths as he is on playing on his computer to stand a chance in this field I would have thought.

MereDintofPandiculation · 02/02/2020 17:49

I suspect that the reality of learning code and computer science is not quite what your DS had pictured in "game development". Does he code much at home? Yes, this. DS was the same. Passionate about games development in theory, but could not motivate himself to the nuts and bolts of coding. I'd suggest he moves to another subject if it's possible, then if he still wants to do games development, make sure he keeps the maths to A level if he has any ability in it, and just hope he finds an interest in something else before uni.

Heymacarana · 02/02/2020 17:51

“Computing” at GCSE is very u likely to be relevant to being a gaming developer in the future IMO. I would hazard a guess that the subject is nothing like he thought it would be and is boring to him.

Would also echo others that it’s a VERY niche career to be aiming towards at such an early age.

I would also guess that as an industry it will change beyond all recognition by the time he is 40 (but accept that applies to most things)

MitziK · 02/02/2020 17:51

A lot of teenagers think that Computer Science is playing games, talking about games and possibly building attack robots. They really aren't happy when they realise that they actually have to do some learning that isn't exciting and write for 90 minutes about such lofty (but necessary) topics as how the bubble sort algorithm works and the ethical considerations that have to be taken into account when providing an app for students to access their homework.

NettleTea · 02/02/2020 17:53

my son is planning this same course and, with very strong grades in maths, science, computer science and art is in a fairly strong position at this stage for his options and his chosen pathway ahead - he knows which courses he wants to take at A levels / Btec to give him the skills he needs to progress to university in a hugely competitive field. He goes to IT club and coding club, as well as drama club to help development of storylines and layers of character that is needed in the modern gaming industry.

What grades has your son been getting in this subject? And Maths? Does he do coding at home? Which area of games development does he want to go into? There are several roles within development itself from the techy programming side, the 3D modelling aspects, writing and creating stories, the art side, and the development of a game (like the poster above who 'tests' games and provides feedback)
In a large company these roles are done by different people, in smaller companies there is a crossover, and some indy gaming companies have people who can do everything, although this is quite unusual. There are different pathways depending upon where you want to end up.

If he really wants to do this he should take a look at all the different roles and decide which one appeals to him, then work backwards. Some may not even need computer science.

Dancingontheedge · 02/02/2020 17:53

I’ve found that wanting to be a game developer, along with YouTube guru and influencer has replaced pop star and footballer in the career aspirations of the young.
Have you talked to your son about the teacher, and asked about their interactions? What marks has he been getting in the subject over the last couple of years? Does he spend spare time coding, animating or doing related activities, or does he just game?
I agree you need to talk to HOD and HOY to get their views.

seltaeb · 02/02/2020 17:54

Are you certain this teacher was talking about your DS and not confusing him with another pupil? It happens. I would suggest a meeting with you, DS's father, teacher and DS to go through DS's work to date so that the teacher can explain where DS is not making progress as he should, and precisely what he needs to do to improve. It is too late to change subject IMO, there would be too much catching up even for the most dedicated pupil.

noblegiraffe · 02/02/2020 17:54

the only time a class teacher HAS to contact you is via reports and at a parents' evening

Indeed. I once had a parent complain that I hadn’t told them that their kid was a pain in the arse. I pointed to the numerous detention slips home, the demerits, and the poor grades on the termly data drops. Apparently that didn’t count

Emmelina · 02/02/2020 17:55

Video game design does sound awfully exciting, but I think a lot of teens don’t realise they need to learn to code to get there, and that side of things is boring as hell. It might be a bit of a reality check to have found he hasn’t got a bestseller out quite yet, and he’s disengaging.

Piggywaspushed · 02/02/2020 17:56

Nothing annoys me more than apparent (when it's aggressive) saying 'it's the first I knew of it'. It's THEIR child!!

daytriptovulcan · 02/02/2020 17:57

Seek a constructive conversation with the headmaster about it?

noblegiraffe · 02/02/2020 17:57

Seek a constructive conversation with the headmaster about it?

Under no circumstances do this. Totally inappropriate.

2020GoingForward · 02/02/2020 17:58

He would like to be a gaming developer as a career

Maths and physics are going to be more valued than GCSE Computer science.

You can get on courses with out them - but they'd be more choice with A-level maths.

I did computer science GCSE over 20 years ago - so I've no idea what the current syllabus contain - but we did no programming at all it was all logic gates and systems.

If he's year 9 and hating it - I'd proably talk to head of year and see what options there are to change to another subject and I'd also probably try and get a copy of the GCSE sylbus - see what's going to be covered and had a frank chat with your DS about nuckling down and if he wants to change to something else if school allows.

Though a nuckling down and hard work talk even if we don't like the subject may be worth having anyway.

hennaoj · 02/02/2020 17:59

Is he actually coding in his spare time at home? If he truly wanted to be games developer he would be writing his own small games at this age. There could be a local children's coding club if he is interested which may be of more use than the computing at school.

Piggywaspushed · 02/02/2020 17:59

Ahem the headteacher could also be female...

lollybee1 · 02/02/2020 17:59

I would change DSs course then get a private tutor or night class for the computing. It is obvious this teacher pupil relationship isn't working.

Piggywaspushed · 02/02/2020 18:00

a parent not apparent ... spellcheck woes.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6