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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask for a handhold? Heading for a mental breakdown depending on tomorrow

491 replies

WhyThisLife · 02/02/2020 16:01

Probably not the right section for this but with the traffic AIBU gets, here I am!

I'd like to ask for a handhold, some group support, a chat etc... As I prepare for my hospital appointment tomorrow.

I have been struggling with fertility issues for a while now and I am currently pregnant. Tomorrow is the scan where I find out if this is viable or not (I've had quite a few previously where I've been told they aren't and had to have D&C's or surgery etc...).

It's all taking its toll now and it's taking all my strength to go in that room willingly tomorrow and not being dragged kicking and screaming. I hate being there, I hate watching people coming out before me all happy and going over to the machine to pay for their scan photos, I hate the look on the nurses faces as soon as they can see on the screen and their 'im very sorry' voices when they tell me again, I hate being walked out and put in the 'quiet room' and seeing everyone's sympathetic faces in the waiting room because they know why.

I am seriously concerned about how I will be tomorrow if it's the same news. I am so so so fed up. I feel like I'm heading for some sort of breakdown but I can't bring myself to give up either.

I don't want to worry DH too much (although he does know how I'm feeling), so can I trouble you all for some support/conversation please? I feel so jittery and restless waiting for tomorrow.

OP posts:
jakeyboy1 · 03/02/2020 13:14

Amazing!!! So pleased for you x

MyDcAreMarvel · 03/02/2020 13:16

So happy for you op that has genuinely brought tears to my eyes.

L0bstersLass · 03/02/2020 13:17

Wonderful news. I'm familiar with the quiet room and the hushed voices and it is dreadful. I'm so pleased that you have good news.
Wishing you every happiness.

VapingHot · 03/02/2020 13:19

Fucking marvellous!

IslandTulip · 03/02/2020 13:19

Great news! As mentioned late dh had a translocation (different 2 chromosomes) and the two times i saw a heart beat at an early scan they both ended up being my beautiful daughters

Connie222 · 03/02/2020 13:21

Amazing x

WhyThisLife · 03/02/2020 13:21

Hi all, I just got all and reading your messages. I'm really touched how many of you have been thinking about us and are sharing in our happy news this morning.

I have an appointment tomorrow with my geneticist so I'm assuming there won't be much else to report until I have my second scan in two weeks. They have told me though that if this pregnancy doesn't work (and I pray to God it does), they will refer me for IVF with PGD and it will be funded by them which was another concern of mine. So that's good news even if this ends in bad news so today has been good.

Honestly I am a mixture of can't bloody believe it, can't stop smiling, shock and happiness but also a niggling bit of worry in the back of my mind about the next scan. I know all too well that there's still plenty of time for this to go wrong. But for today I'm going to enjoy the fact that I just saw my babies heartbeat for the first time ever Smile a sentence I never thought I'd say.

OP posts:
DollyPlastic · 03/02/2020 13:21

Oh that's brilliant! I logged on especially to see if you'd updated

Even though I don't believe in god, I said a little prayer for you last night, on the basis that there's no atheists in a lifeboat. Random mumsnetter needing good luck.

Congratulations x

WhyThisLife · 03/02/2020 13:22

Oh... And I still got put in the quiet room!!! But I don't give a shit today. Today it was mine and DHs happy room.

OP posts:
KitKat1985 · 03/02/2020 13:23

That's such lovely news @WhyThisLife. I truly hope the rest of the pregnancy passes smoothly for you. x

crosspelican · 03/02/2020 13:24

I'm so glad! Huge hugs from another perfect stranger on the internet who is rooting for you and your little heartbeat.

1forsorrow · 03/02/2020 13:24

Lovely news and enjoy the moment, I hope everything continues and 2020 is your year.

ScreamingLadySutch · 03/02/2020 13:25

Unmumsnetty dust in me eye, @WhyThisLife!

Thrilled for you and your DH xx

Purplequalitystreet · 03/02/2020 13:29

I'm so happy for you. Yes it's early days but for today all is well so relish that. I'll keep everything crossed for you xxx

FrodosBaggage · 03/02/2020 13:35

So pleased for you (and DH) OP. Been watching this thread hoping for a positive update. All the best for the coming weeks xFlowers

LividLaughLovely · 03/02/2020 13:36

Came back to this thread with my actual fingers crossed.

Now in floods of hormonal tears with happy for you xx

HazelBite · 03/02/2020 13:36

So happy for you {flowers}

WhyThisLife · 03/02/2020 13:42

Just to add to those that suggested vit D. I asked about that today at my appointment after the scan. They'd already checked my levels apparently (unbeknown to me but I've had about a zillion tests so not surprising) and they are good and healthy apparently so they've suggested I just take the normal pregnancy vitamins.

OP posts:
Norugratsatall · 03/02/2020 13:43

This thread has made me smile! Massive congratulations OP! 💐💕

cakeandchampagne · 03/02/2020 13:49

Congratulations!

Nomorepies · 03/02/2020 13:57

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request.

kikisparks · 03/02/2020 13:59

Amazing news, so happy for you Flowers

TrixIrl · 03/02/2020 13:59

Huge huge congratulations!!!! The relief and fear cocktail can be a bit mind-fucky so please mind yourself and try to enjoy it just a little bit.

Being happy now won't make affect anything at all other than reducing stress 💐

Winecheesesleep · 03/02/2020 13:59

Oh how wonderful, so happy for you! Flowers

SoEverybodyDance · 03/02/2020 14:01

I am definitely with you tomorrow. I was there, like you, many times when it all went wrong, wondering how I was going to get out, how I could avoid those happy ladies so they didn't see me and know. I did that many times and I'm with you, hoping it all comes out okay, holding your hand if it doesn't.

I'm so sorry to hear about the chromosome translocations. Could IVF and PGD work for you? I don't really know what mine was. I had sticky blood (but no more known about that) and each time went on more and more meds. The sixth time it worked. I took a lot of vitamins that time too. I've got a huge list if you'd like.

Hugs, Dance