Getting the blame for 5 year old wetting the bed

[Pooshweens]

Every night I do bath and bedtime for our 5 year old. She always stands and pees in the bath (!) and i take her to bed straight after

Tonight she has just wet the bed and my DH came to have a go at me and tell me it's my fault

I said it's just one of those things, no ones fault and not a big deal

However he's saying it's all my fault, being a bit of a dick about it, saying I should "hold my hands up"

I've done the same process every night and she's not wet the bed

Is HBU or me!?

eh? How could it be your fault? Is he always such a dick?

Why would it be anyone’s fault???

It's an accident... They happen, she's 5 for crying out loud!!!!

I really don't get why DD stands up and pees in the bath - why not have her go to the loo? That said I don't see how that's related in any way to her wetting the bed? As long as she went to the loo right before bed and she doesn't normally wear a nappy in bed what else does he suggest you could have done/not done to stop her wetting the bed?

It's no one's fault.

Hopefully he will see that in the cold light of day.

I have no words to describe how much of a dick he's being

How can it be your fault?
It happens.
He's being a twat.

I would suggest to him that he can do the bedtime routine for a bit and use his magic powers to resolve the situation!!
What on earth does he think you should be doing differently?!

Accidents happen. Its not your fault or your daughters. It is his fault for having a rant at you. When he calms down (maybe tomorrow) ask him why he attacked you about something no one with any common sense could blame you for. Unless this is typical behaviour (a whole other issue) there must be something else going on with him.

He's clearly being a knob...BUT...why on earth do you let her stand up every night and wee in the bath?? That's just grim!! Stop doing that!

It’s no one’s fault, young children wet the bed sometimes, it happens. Many 5 year olds are still wearing pull ups at night

He's being a dick.... and by the way my dd used to wee in the bath, near impossible to stop her

Saves water!

Did you pee the bed? If not, how can it be your fault? These things happen sometimes. Hope there was a mattress protector on the bed

If she doesn’t have a good toilet routine then it is your fault. She should be peeing in the toilet not the bath.

Yabu to ask because of course its not your fault.
Why does your husband think it is?

Why is it even a big deal? Five year old's do the wet the bed sometimes. Unless she normally wears a pull up and you forgot or you forgot to have her do her wee that time (and even then it would be a bloody accident - let it go) then you're not in control of your DD's bladder. What is his reasoning?

What exactly is it that he says you did to somehow make it your fault? Did you give her a litre of juice before bed or something, as that’s the only thing I can think of that could be “your fault’. He’s talking mince.

It is CATEGORICALLY not your fault. Small children occasionally wet their bed. It’s nobody’s fault.

Maybe he would like to help at bed/bath time since he is such an expert....

What a bellend.

I hope he is not normally like this.

FFS how is it your fault? Let him do bedtime routine then! Sorted!

Does she wash again in pissy water once she's gone?? That's a bit grim

But accidents happen and your DH is being a dick blaming you

He’s being horrible. She’s 5. These things happen. It’s normal. My DD wet the bed until she was 10. The doctor won’t even investigate until they are over 7.

Ask him why he is being so accusatory about it? She’ll be picking up on the fact he’s angry about it and will be making her feel guilty. Not healthy.

(Also, why doesn’t she pee in the toilet?)

Accidents happen, she's only 5. My 5 year old has the odd accident, it's not his fault or mine. I'm not sat in his bedroom whilst he sleeps filling a paddling pool with jugs of water from a height accompanied by sinister whispers of "pee....pee" 🙄

Peeing in the bath water isn't something I personally encourage as a parent, but each to their own on that one.

@GrumpyHoonMain how would that affect it in any way?! I'm not saying I'm a fan of weeing in the bath but I really really don't think it's relevant to bed wetting - especially given that she apparently does it every night and the bed wetting is a one off?!

I would be raging if my dh spoke to me like that. How dare he?! Patronising twat.

Stop letting her pee in the bath .

It might be a one off accident and unrelated, but you might be teaching her that it's okay to pee anywhere. Which obviously isn't great.

The bath thing is grim.

Many children wet the bed as they have not yet developed the hormones to help control urine production.
I fail to see how that is your fault.