To use Dad's debit card online to buy him things

[Orangeblossom78]

Dad is elderly but still has capacity. My dad said I could buy him some things he can't get easily online. I have Amazon prime so it means free delivery to his address. Anyway I don't have P oA for dad, but he does have capacity (at present) Is it Ok for me to use his bank card to order him some stuff on Amazon and get it delivered, given that he has given me permission? It is stuff like socks and incontinence pants etc

Thanks for the info about PIP. Very different than US!

Of course it is OP. Is there something else going on that makes you anxious about this? (For example relatives who might query the transactions). For a very large purchase you could ask him to confirm in writing that he's given you permission but to buys socks etc surely it doesn't require a second's thought and you'll have proof that it was delivered to him and is obviously for his benefit on your amazon account.

I do. I have my Dad's cc details for both countries that he lives in, and I order stuff for him all the time. I also have permission to use them for booking flights for him (and occasionally me and the kids), gifts for the kids etc. Sometimes he'll moan about needing something and refuse to buy it (the nose & ear hair trimmer springs to mind lol!) so I just order it on my Prime to be sent to him so he can't argue.

He is taking us on an amazing holiday over half term, but wanted me to organise it all - he reckons that someone else having the mental load of organising a ski trip with a few days in a fab city en route is well worth the cost of paying for the holiday in the first place! So I put it all on his card. One thing required paying by phone, so I emailed him the exact instructions and he (grumpily, after trying to make a thousand excuses) called them.

I'm an only child and my Mum is dead, so it's just me & Dad.

No theres nothing else going on, think it is just me being anxious and overthinking it. I get a bit anxious about using cards online since we had a fraudulent hacker on ebay use my card details once. had to get it refunded / new card etc. But the bank were very good about it and that was paypal / eBay not Amazon.

Across the Pond we also have ESA which about not working, PIP is the disability one.

I have poa for parents (not yet needed) and claim pip.
If the pip is for something you say you can't do yourself but can do it for df then I think they could say something but if it doesn't relate to something you day you can't do then that's OK.
All poa paperwork was sent to me and I signed it getting someone to witness me.
Re amazon could you set up an account for your dad which you and your brother have control / sight of?

Yes Butterfly that is what I thought. I can share the link to Amazon and also link any payments to the purchases showing on dad's bank statement

I'm being daft I think- would be different if I was using his card for my own purchases or something but I'm not it is for his own stuff and with permission.

Dad was trying to send me money 'in the post for the children' but I told him not to do that and I don't need any money.

I also shared the 'wish list' with my brother too so he could see any thing on there and comment / change things too as a way of sharing - it is a bit of a sad 'wish' list though mainly basics and essentials

My FIL has dementia and i don't have POA because of cost but I use his card to do his shopping and pay his bills because he'd starve otherwise. As long as it's used to benefit them i don't see any harm

You can get legal aid for POA we did for dad if they are on low income, I don't think you could now though maybe not sure. but just to let you know.

@Orangeblossom78; "I think can only share Prime at same address"

Nope, happily you can order things to be delivered to however many addresses as you like from the one Prime Account. My DM pays for Prime, so her orders are usually delivered to her home address, but I also use her account to order things to be delivered to my home address or to the home addresses of people I am buying gifts via Amazon for.

Good luck with everything - it sounds like your Dad is very lucky to have you.

I qualified for the PIP area about support with finances due to anxiety, I qualified for the PIP area about support with finances due to anxiety,

I was about to say there was no connection between PoA and PIP, but what you say here does change things.

What I suggest you do is get a paper or email trail going right now with your dad or brother, saying something like,

"As discussed, I'm willing to be registered as PoA for dad because it'll make him happy and there might be some case in an emergency when having me is better than nothing, but obviously I'm not likely to be doing much of his financial admin, especially on my worse days, due to my own issues and need for support."

Then you have something to submit in rebuttal if the DWP ever make a fuss about this.

I don't blame you for feeling nervous and restricted by it. The DWP are absolute wankstains when it comes to cherrypicking anything at all that can be made to sound like you're capable of more than you are.

We order my in-laws groceries for them FiL still has mental capacity but cannot go shopping as he's getting physically frail, plus MiL has dementia and he cannot leave her so he'd have to shop and keep an eye on her. So he phones through his order and we place it for him. It had even occurred to us to question it. We do have LoW for both of them, including health.

Goose think I'm probably being irrationally anxious about it from the replies on the thread seems it's quite normal. Hope I haven't worried others unneccesarily

Yes - we do this for PIL's, order their Tesco delivery or stuff from Amazon as they find using the websites difficult. As long as it's with permission, I don't think it's a problem