To think hospital should tell me what ward my family member is on?

[pinkyperkyyy]

My cousin is 44,he is a alcoholic and has isolated himself the last two years.
We used to be quite close but since he has started drinking he has dropped contact.
His mum,dad and brother are dead and he never married/had kids.
Today I found out (from someone in the street) he had a seizure and a brain bleed and was in hospital.
Obviously I wanted to check on him so I wanted to find out what ward he was on (massive hospital )
I called the admissions and explained and gave his full name.
She replied "date of birth"
I told her I didn't know this but I know he is late 40s.
She said I needed to give the exact date.
Then said "ok address"
I gave her the street name and said I didn't know the number (he only moved last year )
She said unless I told her house number she couldn't give me the ward.
I said that it was ridiculous,I didn't want any info about his condition just the ward so I could go up.
Anyway she wouldn't tell me as she said there might be 5 people with the same name ??
I said "what 5 people around late 40s ,same name and living in the same street"
Aibu to think it's ridiculous

You may be able to find DOB by searching records here if you know his full name, rough year of birth for a date range and mother maiden name

www.freebmd.org.uk/cgi/search.pl

I used this to get DOBs for family who have passed away when I needed to provide them for an enhanced security screen for work

I love how places have all these Safeguarding rules in place... and all you have to do is post a question on a public forum and people will be falling all over themselves to help you circumvent it...

I would go to the hospital and ask to speak to one of the chaplaincy team. You'd be able to explain all the background face to face and they should be able to approach the ward for you. I think it's great that you want to visit - it sounds as if he is both very ill and also very isolated.

It’s a shame OP. You were just trying to be kind.

Shame many on this thread seem to have had an empathy/sympathy fail

Try the GI ward or some are GI and Endocrinology. He’s likely to be there.

Yabu what you needed to have done was tell the person on the phone who you were and why you were calling which you did and then ask them to pass on a message to your relative who would then have the choice to contact you if they wanted.

Your wish to visit the patient doesn't trump the patient's right to confidentiality I'm afraid.

It's lovely that you want to be there for him right now. It sounds like he needs it.

As others have said the hospital staff are doing the right thing in protecting his privacy.

Is there anyone you can think of who would know this information?

No one has had an empathy fail. But a patients privacy is paramount.

I work in a hospital and we are not allowed to give any information, not even confirm if somebody is admitted or not. It could be anybody on the phone. If you go there, they will be able to help.

Heck, where I live they won't even confirm whether or not a person is a patient in a hospital, let alone their room number! And if a loved one is admitted, you're given a 'code' to tell the operator before they'll put you through to the nurse's station. To reach the patient directly you have to be able to put in their room number.

Each person is entitled to absolute privacy and confidentiality when having medical treatment of any kind. I can think of more than one person I know that I'd HATE to have come and visit me in the hospital.

I understand your concern for your cousin and that you don't want him to feel alone. But if he is coherent, he has the right to make that decision. I suggest that perhaps you might be able to pass a message with your phone number through the operator to the nurse's desk on his floor that you are a relative and that IF he wishes to see you or needs anything, you'll come visit.

I having a little laugh to myself at the idea that hospital security is taken seriously. Wrongly, I'm sure it is in most places, these days. But my first experience of a UK hospital was of a major London teaching hospital that's set right on a high street in a poor area. I walked in off the street at 11pm at night, walked past a man in uniform sat at the reception desk, walked all the way through the hospital, to a ward at the end of one wing as far away from the entrance as one could get, to visit my wife. Apart from the reception guy I didn't see a single person along the way, or pass through a single closed door. If I'd wanted to I could probably have stayed until breakfast. The sash windows were wide open, it was a hot summer night, and it seemed like the only benefit to being inside rather than the bed being outside on the pavement was that she wouldn't get wet if there was a sudden rainstorm.

(Security at that hospital has tightened since then.)

Try the stroke ward.

You don’t care about him. You know nothing about him.

That is incredibly harsh MGC31.

Addiction can often cause people to isolate themselves from the people who care about them.

This could be his rock bottom and OP is trying to be there for him.

Then she should know where he lives.

You think it’s harsh. That’s all you need to say. You don’t need to patronise me with your “information” on addiction. And I didn’t ask to be “informed”. I’m fully aware thanks.

YABU. It might seem extreme to you, but at the hospital where I work we are meant to have at least 3 different pieces of info to identify a patient, so name, DOB, address. We are also not meant to give out any details over the phone without checking with the patient first.

If you really want to find him to make sure he's okay, you could turn up at the hospital in person and try your luck on the gastro, liver, stroke wards, even if you only know his name the ward staff will probably find the right ward for you if you're there in person.

If you are fully aware then you will know there is only so much a person can do to stay in contact with someone who - because of their addiction - has cut off their family members.

OP is trying.

I'm sorry you felt I was patronising. That wasn't my intention.

Can you look up stroke ward, on the hospital website, then just show up?

I.wouldn't have a clue about any of my cousins date of birth or, their address ( would have to check with my sister about her own exact address tbh although I do know where she live s and her DOB) but he's having spiral staff don't have to be very careful about confidentiality .

I dont know most of my families dob and i couldnt tell you my grannys address but i know where it is and talk to her a lot. When she was in hospital all i needed was her name and the day she was admitted and they took me to her. Which was interesting as thats the day i found out her real name .

I don’t know my cousins’ DOB or where they live! Nor could I find out easily. I don’t even know some of their names! Or which town they live in!
Admittedly, I’d be unlikely to find out if they were in hospital, however.

I think a pp has over the top made a silly presumption that the op doesnt care because she doesnt know her cousins dob or address. You would be shocked at the stuff i dont know about my family and still care. I dont even know what country my mother is actually from

Op, if all you want to do is let him know that you care about him and hope he gets better soon then could you buy a card and some flowers or something. Then write in the card that you are his cousin, you haven't seen him in a while but heard he was unwell and you are thinking of him and hope he gets better soon. Add that if he'd like you to visit him to contact you on (phone number) or ask a nurse to contact you.

It will let him know you care and leave it completely up to him if he wants you to visit him in hospital.

Then take the card and flowers to the nurses station and ask nicely if they would pass it on.

You could be a journalist for all the receptionist knew.