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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you know anyone like this?? Drives me insane!!!

97 replies

Lipperfromchipper · 31/01/2020 17:46

Actually reminded of this on another thread and thought it was worthy of its own 🤣🤣

Does anyone know someone like this?!! Drives me INSANE!!

My SIL... goes to a restaurant and orders a meal let’s say
Sea bass with samphire and a butter based sauce with mash and veg on the side...but then requests the following
Can you take off the samphire
and instead of the ‘butter sauce’ can I have mushroom sauce from the chicken dish instead
and then instead of mash can I have chips and instead of the veg can I have a plain green salad.

Emmm ok says the waitress.. SIL gets the dinner as she requested (much to the chefs annoyance I imagine!!) and then COMPLAINS that the meal is bland or doesn’t really work!!! Meanwhile I just want to fucking scream!!!! OF COURSE ITS SHIT YOU MADE THE FUCKING DISH UP!!

HARD WORK!!And relax...,

OP posts:
Stillfunny · 31/01/2020 18:55

Never work or go out in an American restaurant. It is so common to question the menu and then order whatever way you would like it. All done with a smile as of course the staff will want a tip.

Fluffycloudland77 · 31/01/2020 18:56

Oh lord dh did that once, ordered a duck starter but refused the raspberry sauce with it.

Then complained it was bland.

We don’t have starters now.

PuppyMonkey · 31/01/2020 18:57

Slightly different, but DP has a thing in restaurants where whenever we’re shown to our table, he’ll always always have some sort of complaint about it and ask if we can move to another table.Confused

It’s got to the stage now where I don’t even bother sitting down. I just look at him and wait for him to start tutting and asking if we can sit somewhere else.

He’s usually all right after that though, and enjoys the food and is very polite to staff, thank gawd.

ClementineWardobe · 31/01/2020 18:58

This is a common thing in parts of America. The kitchen staff suck it up, poor sods. My DH sometimes entertained US colleagues travelling to London for work. He asked me for a recommendation and I sent him to one place in London where I knew they wouldn't stand for all the chopping and changing nonsense. When he (the American) began demanding changes, very rudely I might add, (he wanted a combination of three different meals) the waitress just stopped him dead with a firm no. I don't think any restaurant staff had ever told the guy no before.

There was a big stink about this in New York a few years back where chefs had had an absolute gut full of being asked to make endless changes and loads of them started just saying 'tough' to customers.

BedStuy · 31/01/2020 19:02

Being a bit of a foodie twat I will often order dishes on the basis that the walnut/cheese combo will really work, or the rocket will lift an otherwise rich/ salty meal. So many times I’ve had something delivered without, for example, said walnuts / rocket, and I feel so angry as it entirely corrupts what I was expecting and they think it doesn’t fucking matter much.

Yes! This absolutely gives me the rage. Dh grumbled all afternoon about a walnut salad that missed out the walnuts (the restaurant did do a discount or something when he complained, which he almost never does).

Mlou32 · 31/01/2020 19:03

Tell her she's being awkward and quite awful.

I had to do this with an ex friend. She's ask for a coke and say no slice of lemon. They'd bring it back with a lemon, obviously having forgotten as they were so busy. Instead of just politely saying thank you and taking the lemon out and putting it on the side, she's make a loud sigh or 'ughhh' noise and give the drink the most snide look. Or if the waitress politely says that the thing that she wants is unavailable, again a huge sigh, q massive roll of the eyes and the most sour face I've ever seen. In the end I had to tell her that her behaviour embarrassed me and that if we were to meet again then it would have to be for a coffee or something, as I felt extremely embarrassed and sorry for the waitress because of her behaviour.

I fucking hate moaners. Especially rude, snide moaners.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 31/01/2020 19:05

I often ask for something to be changed as there's a lot of things I can't eat. Does it hurt to ask for no chillis in a pasta dish for example? It doesn't always taste as good but I wouldn't dream of complaining and I accept it if it can't be done. If it's not possible I pick out the bits I can't eat (probably frowned on on MN in case it offends someone) and leave them

supersop60 · 31/01/2020 19:06

A friend of mine doesn't complain, but she does ask for something to be changed. Every time. It does seem to be a control thing.

kittykatkitty · 31/01/2020 19:06

@Mlou32 your friend would of been 99 on the order ( restaurant speak for, person is a
C**t so don't put effort in)

Original poster
Lipperfromchipper · 31/01/2020 19:08

The complaining is off, but I’m all for ordering what you actually want. Had a friend tell me I was ‘embarrassing’ her once as I ordered the goats cheese starter dish with a portion of chips as a main meal. I wasn’t that hungry and all the mains were quite heavy. This was at Centre Parcs by the way, not a fancy restaurant

@GrannyBags but that is completely different, I don’t mind ppl order starters as mains I have done that myself... but don’t recreate dishes and then complain that it tastes awful...I mean there is a reason she is NOT a chef!!

OP posts:
Jux · 31/01/2020 19:09

People who dick about with carefully thought out dishes, or who want to know every little thing about the food, are really just showing off. They pretend these things actually make a difference to them over whether they order something or not, but I'm sure it doesn't really.

I think that in a proper restaurant (not cheap pub grub type stuff) the management should state clearly on the menu that there will be no substitutions. If you don't like the food a well-trained chef produces, go elsewhere.

SalmonFajitas · 31/01/2020 19:10

I don't know anyone who does that. I know a few world class complainers though. They'll find the cheapest meal in the cheapest cafe and act shocked and affronted when it isn't Michelin star standard.

ShinyMe · 31/01/2020 19:11

But Harry thought it was adorable when Sally did it!

Original poster
Lipperfromchipper · 31/01/2020 19:14

A decent restaurant can accommodate changes. A decent chef wants customers to enjoy their meals.

A decent chef has trained and worked for YEARS to head their own restaurant and finally created their own meals...it KILLS them, and annoys the shit out of them when customers disregard that and think they know better!!

I have some allergies which means I sometimes swap items. Or should I just never eat out?

And you know that is a ridiculous comment as NO ONE said that, allergies is a COMPLETELY different ballgame to general cf’ery!

OP posts:
BennytheBall · 31/01/2020 19:18

Yes, my sil too.

She's always coming up with new things she has decided she's allergic to. Eating in or out with her is a bore. She asks the wait staff a whole load of embarrassing questions too.

Honeyroar · 31/01/2020 19:18

I once went to a restaurant with two colleagues in America. It was very busy, it took a while to get a table, to be able to order, for the food to arrive etc etc. They kicked off grumbling at the waitress, who brought us a free drink to apologise. They then decided that the steak they had wasn’t good enough and complained again, demanding the manager. I sat there squirming while they ranted. It really hadn’t been THAT bad. Eventually the manager waived the whole bill. They barely said thank you. Before we left I said we ought to leave a decent tip. They refused! I ended up leaving £15 under my plate. We all work in customer service.

polkadotpj · 31/01/2020 19:19

My husband often does this- with me at home but I know he's being an arse because when I ignore him he doesn't even notice. For example he thinks he doesn't like parsley- on its own he's right, I'm not keen either, but in a gremolata I think it's called all chopped with garlic and lemon it's lush and he likes it too. So I know he's being an arse. He also asked for tweaks everywhere we go too. Leave off the salad dressing or rice instead of chips, no problem. But removing integral flavours- CF

BarbedBloom · 31/01/2020 19:23

To be fair I would complain to if I asked for no lemon in coke and they brought it with lemon. I don't like the taste of lemon in coke and even if I take it out, I can still taste it.

However, I have been out with people who have asked for ridiculous changes and I do inwardly sigh. I also empathise with people who order the dish for something that then isn't included. My DH ordered the marshmallow sundae the other week because it came topped with melted marshmallow. It turned up with cream and when my DH asked she said they had run out of marshmallow.

BarbedBloom · 31/01/2020 19:23

Complain too*

ToPlanZ · 31/01/2020 19:25

My DS is a chef. He was working in a tiny French restaurant (but trendy tiny portions). A party came in and asked for changes to everything because they were vegan.

The staff worked like crazy to accommodate them (they didn't order the actual vegan dishes on offer).

However when it came to dessert they suddenly decided they were no longer vegan and all ordered chocolate fondant with ice cream.

The chefs were livid!

WhereShallWeMoveTo · 31/01/2020 19:26

I’m not surprised ToPlan!

Huncamuncaa · 31/01/2020 19:27

A guy I dated was very posh and would treat the menu as 'a suggestion' in his own words. He would order the chef to make him something completely different. It was how he'd been taught to order food. Which might be what's done in some very high end London clubs where his dad reguarly ate, but having someone try to change the Pizza Express menu was just embarrassing! We didn't last!

Jeleste · 31/01/2020 19:28

I do that Blush
But i dont complain.

PigletJohn · 31/01/2020 19:33

When a "vegan" orders cheesecake and cream I like to rush up, snatch it from their hands, and hurl it into the bin*

*I have never actually done this Sad

Berrymuch · 31/01/2020 19:35

Yeah it seems silly to order something that is essentially completely different and then to moan about it. I swap mushrooms out for something else because I'm not a fan, but usually happy to go with whatever they suggest.