Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Where do I stand legally with ex’s belongings?

89 replies

Cannonhalls · 31/01/2020 10:37

So my ex moved out last year, he took all his stuff. But left some records,
I’ve had a clear out, took them all charity shop only this month.
Now he’s asked for them back and told me he’s taking me to a small claims court ?
Can he do this?
He moved out almost 6 months ago and had ample time to collect, just never bothered. And he’s abit/ a lot of an idiot. He’s demanding these records and saying he’s taking me to small claims- yet still hasn’t paid any maintenance for the child he’s left- so I don’t particularly feel bad. Just worried about if he can do anything legally ?

OP posts:
BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 31/01/2020 11:40

If it does go to small claims (and I really, really doubt it will, he's just trying to hassle you) then make sure he gives a full list of records beforehand so that you can find the cheapest prices online. Unless it was lots of very rare albums I don't think it will even add up to very much.

NurseButtercup · 31/01/2020 11:44

The cheeked guy - since when did your home turn into a storage facility?

I would brazen it out and laugh down the phone at him.

And then every time he mentions it I would laugh at him...

If he does take it to small claims, I have no intention to attend court to discuss dusty old records. Hopefully somebody more sensible can advise you on this.

Besidesthepoint · 31/01/2020 11:46

Don't engage. Let him take you to court over a tenners worth of records if that's what he wants. Even if you lose they're worth next to nothing (and if he claims that he had soMe collectables he will need to prove it and need to prove that you threw it away).

Molly2017 · 31/01/2020 11:48

If you report the thread @cannonhalls in the comments you can ask for the thread to be deleted.
My advice would be to lie.
I don’t know what records you are talking about.
You collected all of your things 6 months ago.
There wasn’t a thread on MN.
And don’t let the maintenance issue drop. Any chance of applying for it to be backdated?

UYScuti · 31/01/2020 11:52

You asked him to collect all his belongings
He collected all his belongings
Case dismissed

prh47bridge · 31/01/2020 11:53

Unless he has receipts and paperwork for the records he doesn't have a claim

Rubbish. As has been said up thread, this comes under the Torts (Interference With Goods) Act 1977. There is a process the OP should have followed before disposing of the goods. She clearly did not follow the process. She is therefore liable to her ex for the value of the items concerned. So yes, he can do something legally.

If he does take it to small claims, I have no intention to attend court to discuss dusty old records

If the OP behaved in this way the court would enter a default judgement against her for the full amount claimed.

ddraigygoch · 31/01/2020 11:55

He can do something legally. But he has to prove that they are in OPs possession and that she disposed of them. So when she says he took them with him he has to prove he didn't.

Oysterbabe · 31/01/2020 12:01

He has a claim but won't bother.
Tell him you gave them away because he didn't collect them but should have sold them to buy his child food. In summary, get fucked Dickface.

Disfordarkchocolate · 31/01/2020 12:04

He left taking his stuff.

The OP let him collect the rest of his belongings a week later.

She is not a storage facility.

Ignore him.

Winter2020 · 31/01/2020 12:13

If he says he is taking you to court I would say "great - we can discuss child maintenance while we there" I know it doesn't actually work like that but the principle is clear. He would not come off well taking you to court for this - what a waste of everybody's time it would be.

Daftodil · 31/01/2020 12:19

When he was coming to get his stuff in August, did you arrange it via text? Eg. If you've text him to say "when are you getting the rest of your stuff?" And he's said "Saturday", then surely this counts as you giving him written notice?

If he left them there after that, can you consider them as a gift (ie no longer his property)?, or if he bought them when you were together, aren't they shared property (ie you can get rid of it as you would anything else you own?)

CameFromAway · 31/01/2020 12:20

If he’s the kind of useless twonk to leave his stuff for 6m, he’s probably too useless to do small claims paperwork. He’s just throwing his toys out of the pram.

1forsorrow · 31/01/2020 12:22

I don't know the legal ins and outs but I would have sent him a message reminding him to collect them or I would get rid of them. That seems reasonable but the law doesn't always work on reasonable.

prh47bridge · 31/01/2020 12:25

So when she says he took them with him he has to prove he didn't

The courts decide on the balance of probabilities in civil cases. He doesn't have to prove his case beyond reasonable doubt. And you are suggesting that the OP goes to court and lies under oath.

If you've text him to say "when are you getting the rest of your stuff?" And he's said "Saturday", then surely this counts as you giving him written notice?

No it doesn't. The legislation in question does not allow notice by text message. It also requires certain details to be included in the written notice, so a message saying "when are you getting the rest of your stuff" doesn't come close.

1forsorrow · 31/01/2020 12:25

My advice would be to lie. Would the OP be liable to a charge or perjury? Someone could have taken a screen shot of her OP, or she might have mentioned it to someone who decides to take his side. If so I wouldn't risk prison. Maybe that's just me.

TheMemoryLingers · 31/01/2020 12:27

If he sues you for £100 for the records, put in a counter claim for £100 storage fees!

(disclaimer - lighthearted! Have no idea about the legal position)

BrendasUmbrella · 31/01/2020 12:54

In you case, I would apologise and say you assumed he didn't want them after such a long time. Then ask him about maintenance.

In her case I would deny all knowledge of the records. He must have picked them up with the rest of his stuff and forgotten about it.

prh47bridge · 31/01/2020 13:18

Would the OP be liable to a charge of perjury?

Potentially yes. It is unlikely she would be charged but, if convicted, it carries a sentence of up to 7 years imprisonment and/or an unlimited fine. It is regarded as a serious offence even if it is committed during a minor case.

user1487690404 · 31/01/2020 13:28

@BrendasUmbrella

With the exception of the existence of this thread, which is public knowledge.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 31/01/2020 15:44

For a thread that's titled "where do I stand legally on ex's belongings", there's a whole load of illegal and off topic posts.

safariboot · 31/01/2020 15:47

Legally you're in the wrong. As mentioned, there's a procedure to follow in cases like that.

Shock at the idea you should lie in court about it. Seriously illegal and stupid to do that.

diddl · 31/01/2020 16:27

Unbelievable that he might have some comeback for moving out & not taking all of his stuff with him!

Surely that onus would be on him to make sure his stuff would be there until he could be bothered to collect, rather than on the Op, whose house it now is to have to chase him about it?

That really does add insult to injury!

Wouldn't common sense say that stuff not collected after 6months & not specifically asked to be left until it can be collected isn't wanted?

prh47bridge · 31/01/2020 16:52

Wouldn't common sense say that stuff not collected after 6 months & not specifically asked to be left until it can be collected isn't wanted?

Common sense may say that but I'm afraid the law disagrees.

Twillow · 31/01/2020 17:02

It sounds like an idle threat in the hope that you'll give him some money instead.
Funniluy enough when I asked for my records and stereo back in court at financial settlement, exH said they'd been damaged by a water leak [hmn] and that was the end of that, tough luck...

MummytoCSJH · 31/01/2020 17:10

Legally as others have advised you were wrong (despite him having 2 chances to collect his things which is ridiculous. The onus shouldn't be on you to chase him), but realistically there's no way he will take you to court over this. If they were rare/expensive he would have made sure he had them, otherwise it's not worth paying to make a claim! Call his bluff.