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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Where do I stand legally with ex’s belongings?

89 replies

Cannonhalls · 31/01/2020 10:37

So my ex moved out last year, he took all his stuff. But left some records,
I’ve had a clear out, took them all charity shop only this month.
Now he’s asked for them back and told me he’s taking me to a small claims court ?
Can he do this?
He moved out almost 6 months ago and had ample time to collect, just never bothered. And he’s abit/ a lot of an idiot. He’s demanding these records and saying he’s taking me to small claims- yet still hasn’t paid any maintenance for the child he’s left- so I don’t particularly feel bad. Just worried about if he can do anything legally ?

OP posts:

SidneyPrescott · 31/01/2020 11:00

Personally, I wouldn't engage and I'd completely ignore him.

His timing is very convenient.

Getitwright · 31/01/2020 11:03

Erm......does he have anything in writing saying you got rid of them? He and a few hundred thousand others are probably reading this.........duh!😂

ThreeRandomWords · 31/01/2020 11:04

I have had direct experience of a similar situation and took legal advice about it.

As someone posted up thread, it comes under the Torts (Interference with Goods) Act.

From what I recall, you cannot just throw someone else's stuff away. You have to give them warning - I you don't collect within 4 weeks (or whatever), I will dispose of them. If you dispose without warning, you are liable for the value of the goods. You can charge storage.

It's a bit late now that you've got rid of the stuff, but your ex would have a case unless you could show that you had made an effort to contact him, and asking him to collect his stuff. On the other hand, it seems unlikely he would bother unless he believed they were valuable.

In you case, I would apologise and say you assumed he didn't want them after such a long time. Then ask him about maintenance.

Disclaimer: this us what I remember from something that happened about a decade ago. Sadly, I no longer have the paperwork to check.

SoloMummy · 31/01/2020 11:05

Yes legally he can go via small claims court. You should have given him opportunity to have removed them.

The maintenance issue is totally separate and irrelevant for this. Especially if he can show that the collection was worth considerable money as many vinyl collections are.

UYScuti · 31/01/2020 11:05

If it was me I would refuse to acknowledge the existence of the records because unless he can prove they existed he doesn't have a case.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 31/01/2020 11:07

Dont engage.

Dont discuss anything except your child/maintenance and try and keep all emotion out of your messages to him and use only a few words, and only reply to anything he asks regarding your child. Ignore anything else.

He's speaking bollocks and simply trying to intimidate you for having the audacity to get maintenance for your child.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 31/01/2020 11:09

So I assume he’s trying to wind me up because he isn’t happy about it

Sounds exactly like what he is doing.

I did similar; moved out of an ex's suddenly and realised several months later I left a box of records. But I just wrote it off because I'm not an arsehole and it was my oversight.

Let him take you to court and keep pursuing him for CMS.

Urkiddingright · 31/01/2020 11:11

Just reply: Please feel free to take me to court. Perhaps we can discuss your failure to pay child maintenance with the judge at the same time??

Ooooh this is good!!

He probably has zero proof the records even existed plus court would be a huge waste of his time and money.

Urkiddingright · 31/01/2020 11:12

You should have given him opportunity to have removed them.

She gave him six months.

Drum2018 · 31/01/2020 11:12

Yes legally he can go via small claims court. You should have given him opportunity to have removed them.

Is 6 months not long enough to get his belongings?

@Cannonhalls deny ever seeing them. He hasn't a leg to stand on unless you have told him via text/email that you gave them to charity.

UYScuti · 31/01/2020 11:16

Be businesslike with him, think of him as a work colleague who you don't like but you need to co-operate with over just one issue (ie your child) that means that you only communicate with him on that one subject.
deliberately leaving important items in your home is a way of marking territory, of keeping his foot in the door.

mrsBtheparker · 31/01/2020 11:16

The sainted Judge Judy would say that he had had every opportunity to collect them and after six months, tough! Don't you love the way the the Americans seem able to get the police involved in the smallest thing such as escorting someone to get their stuff.

ThreeRandomWords · 31/01/2020 11:17

The OP was wrong (in legal terms) to get rid of his stuff without warning.

adaline · 31/01/2020 11:17

Does he have proof they were his in the first place? If not, he doesn't have a leg to stand on. He's had six months - they obviously weren't that important to him.

I'd be inclined to tell him to bugger off

ThreeRandomWords · 31/01/2020 11:21

For the last time: the ex has a case if the OP didn't give him warning! That's what the law says.

sirmione16 · 31/01/2020 11:25

Please delete this thread too as if he or someone comes across it god forbid, all their case is here 😂

fairlyplump · 31/01/2020 11:25

Good luck to him , what a nob !

Stressedout10 · 31/01/2020 11:33

Since he had two separate opportunies (sp) to collect the records when removed the rest of his property it was abandoned.
12 weeks is usually considered a reasonable period of time to keep potentially abandoned property and you kept them for 6 months I wouldn't worry if I was you

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 31/01/2020 11:34

If he does take you to court then you can say that as far as you are aware he took all his belongings in the first weeks after your split. You have since had a few clear outs and taken stuff to a charity shop, there may have been some records amongst the items but you can't be certain.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 31/01/2020 11:37

The OP was wrong (in legal terms) to get rid of his stuff without warning

Er... he had 6 months to collect them. I'd have charged him a storage fee.

81Byerley · 31/01/2020 11:37

My advice? Tell him "Off you go then! Good luck!" It's highly likely he'll do it. If he does, I wouldn't worry!

Urkiddingright · 31/01/2020 11:38

Unless he has concrete evidence the records even existed then court would be a massive waste of time. By concrete evidence he would need receipts and somehow would need to prove he left them at his ex’s house. It just isn’t worth the time and money for a few records.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 31/01/2020 11:39

The OP was wrong (in legal terms) to get rid of his stuff without warning.

This. Anyone's individual opinion on whether he had enough time in person is irrelevant.

Did you tell him in writing that you'd taken them to the charity shop? Did you tell him verbally?

adaline · 31/01/2020 11:39

The OP was wrong (in legal terms) to get rid of his stuff without warning

Six months ago he went to clear out all of his stuff.

OP is not a storage unit - I'd be charging him fees! Cheeky bugger.

He's only doing it because he's pissed off about OP getting CMS involved. Let's not pretend he's all hard-done by.

Original poster

Cannonhalls · 31/01/2020 11:40

I asked him to collect all his belongings which he did the week after he left, he left some random crap ( these were part of it ) so that’s what I cleared out.

Any idea how I delete a thread?

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