To ask - WTAF? (Not light-hearted, sorry). Concerns cancer. *title edited by MNHQ with OP's agreement*

[IHeartKingThistle]

Can I just put this here? I've got nowhere to put it in RL and in RL I am very breezy and positive indeed.

I'd lost 3 friends to cancer before I was 35. I'm 40 now. This year, my friend's breast cancer has returned, savagely. A much-loved relative has terminal lung cancer, out of the blue. And today I found out that my sister isn't responding to chemo in the way they'd hoped.

WTAF? Just what the fuck?

Just need someone to tell me not everyone who gets cancer dies. Because everyone has so far and I can't lose her.

I’m sorry, I know the feeling. An entire branch of my family died over the past few years, they were dropping like flies. I was also a bit WTAF, it’s difficult to process after a while.

Re the cancer not everyone dies. My mother had it a few times and died if something else entirely.

Not everyone with cancer dies. My DF had bowel cancer. He had his bowel and his prostate removed and, 2.5 years later, is now fine. It hasn't slowed him down at all, in fact at 75 he had 5 foreign holidays on his own last year, including a cruise at Christmas around Australia and NZ.

My lovely Nan had it twice in her 90's they operated and she survived. She eventually died at 96 due to something else.

My friend is doing well on her chemo for breast cancer.

So sorry to hear of your losses and current loved ones who are suffering. My grandmother had breast cancer and lived to be 91. Another friend has battled cancer twice and is now living cancer free. We probably see people everyday who are walking around fit and well after surviving cancer, we just don't know their stories.

Just wanted to say how much this helped last night, and to get up this morning and read such positive messages has really touched me. I'm so sorry to read about the losses you have had.

You're all lovely. We've got this.

Keep your spirits up OP, I was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 28, over ten years ago - all clear and still going strong. My dad diagnosed with prostate cancer two years ago, all clear and still going strong. Not everyone dies. Sending flowers and hugs for when you need them. (And thanks and gratitude to my amazing oncologist).

You have my sympathy. I went through similar and lost 4 very close family members in the space of a few months. One much loved family member became ill and died within 4 hours with a very aggressive cancer Cancer is a bitch!

Afternoon everyone. We're just bobbing on here to let you know that, with the OP's agreement, we've edited the thread title so folk know what the discussion entails.

Thanks to everyone who's offered words of support and advice to the OP on here.

And big unMumsnetty hugs all round.

I hope your sister pulls through.
My mum's sis in law was diagnosed with breast cancer exactly 16 years ago, she had chemo and radiotherapy and had her breast removed. She's still with us, was recently widowed but is a very strong and healthy 72 year old.
There are survivors, hopefully your sister will be one of them.

I had breast cancer in 2018. All fine now.

MIL's friend had a mastectomy due to BC. She was briefly sectioned as it took such a toll on her mental health but she's back at work now.

I was worried about an ex-colleague I used to bump into from time to time as she said she wanted to stop her chemotherapy early, then I didn't see her for ages (and I'd just been diagnosed). It was such a relief for both of us bumping into each other 6 months after that.

My husband survived it and is still clear years later. It's awful though and I really sympathise for you going through it. Watching a loved one suffer is horrendous

I've got 2 family members who all survived cancer, but a third who beat breast cancer then succumbed to another cancer this year. It was fast, it was vicious, nothing could be done.

I hope you have better results. Its horrible losing people so close to you, and so many in one go.

My mother had cancer in her knee 20 yrs ago. Following an amputation and chemo, she is all clear still. Her sister had breast cancer at the same time, and following a double mastectomy is still here!

I know how you feel @IHeartKingThistle - I had a two year period a couple of years ago when my mom died, my FIL died and then one of my younger sisters died (she was just 41) - all different cancers. Then after a year of reprieve, my other younger sister has spent the best part of last year being treated for stage 3 cancer (another different type - we're nothing if comprehensive in this family...) It is awful and I do understand the feeling of it never stopping. to all those who have been diagnosed and survived, to those no longer with us and those that have lost someone, seen someone undergo treatment and trauma.