To be so bloody anxious about something so bloody stupid?

[Gimmeashake]

NC for this. I've a presentation to do on Monday in front of my team. I am ridiculously nervous about it - I think it's the shame of feeling anxious (and of others noticing) that makes it so much worse than it should be. The daft thing is, my job involves lots of anxiety provoking situations, for example, training groups of people, making difficult decisions, working with v risky people and so on. I'm fairly confident on the whole and I think other people would see me this way. However. Talking in this formal setting in front of my peers...it's my worst nightmare. I feel like it's this shameful secret and I'm about to get found out It's worse recently (perhaps just a general increase in work stress, worrying about my son atm and so on) to the point that my voice will really shake and my anxiety will spiral in to full blown panic. I'm dreading it. How do others manage their anxiety in these situations? I think it's slightly more than 'normal' nerves IYSWIM and I really want to get a grip. Honestly, I think it holds me back and I'd love to know how everyone seems to manage so much better than I do. Any advice much appreciated!

Make notes per slide for yourself. Talk through the whole presentation to yourself out loud first - you'll be amazed at the difference it makes. Good luck! You'll smash it!

Preparation is the key. Practice. Know your subject,. Know how to work the laptop. Sit down if you feel better that way. If you are standing don't rock. Use something in your hands like cards with bulletpoints on them to remind you. ACT, honestly a previous poster said this and I think that's the only other person I've ever seen giving that advice except me! Slow down, keep breathing. Enjoy, what's the worst that can happen!

deep breaths.
4 in- 5 out,follow your breathe right to the end of the in-breathe and then right to the end of the out.
do this all the way up to the talk.make sure your belly rises on the in breath like a babys.wen you panic your breathe goes to your chest.and your breathing in and everything being sucked in with each panic.but your breathe should be in your belly rising and falling with the in and out.put your hand to your belly and focus on getting that right.it really does work.
practice in front of the mirror.
have a little kind mantra in your head.
do you have a pet/child/loved one?imagine someone you love saying something really kind in your head.repeat. so could you child be saying "mum you can do this" or you pet putting a paw on your hand.

I can’t take beta blockers as my blood pressure is too low.

Probably placebo effect (but who cares, whatever works!) rescue remedy and Kalms for me. And square breathing.

How do people think the OP is going to get a prescription for propranolol by Monday, even if her doctor would prescribe them for this? (And please stop saying "beta-blockers": most beta-blockers wouldn't have any effect on the shaking.)

OP - in case people persuade you to try to get hold of propranolol illicitly, please let us know that you're not asthmatic or diabetic: I assume they wouldn't want a death or hospital admission on their consciences.

Concentrate on the message you want your audience to take away, rather than your "performance". If your mind is focused you're less likely to get the anxiety symptoms. If you're able to use some props and/or get your audience to work on little tasks as part of your presentation, this really helps to free you from feeling like the centre of everybody's attention. Starting off by asking them to consider a question that you're going to answer in the presentation - and feed back their thoughts - gets them feeling like part of the presentation rather than just an audience.

A year ago I’d have been saying this but in a new job I’ve got used to it now. Things that have worked for me which may also do some good for you in the immediate term!

Rescue remedy. The drops kind. I don’t care if it’s complete hogwash homeopathic tripe, for me I take it and I swear it just takes the edge off. Placebo or not.

Remember the people listening may be staring at you but I’d bet my life less than half are properly paying 100% attention. They’re drifting into other things. We’ve all done it.

If you channel your ‘I’ve got this and it’s not a big deal’ face and posture then you’ll look confident and that’ll carry you through. What’s going on inside only you know!

If you can do your bit sitting down and that feels better for you then do it.

Think about how you’ll feel when it’s done and you’ve done it well. It’s motivational.

Let us know how you get on!!

You'll be brilliant.

Remember everyone in the audience wants you to do well. Nobody will be sitting there thinking I hope she fucks this up - they'll be willing you on.

Do everything suggested on this brilliantly supportive thread and go get 'em.

I present a lot. And I used to get sick w nerves. Two things help me.

1. Embrace the nerves. Everyone gets nervous. Even after years of doing it, i know i ll get really nervous. But now i dont get nervous about being nervous. I just accept it ll happen. I also accept people will know im nervous, but it doesnt really matter.
2. Practise the presentation outloud over and over. This goes with 1. As I know if I ve practised it eleventy billion times, even if Im nervous, i ll be able to get through it on auto pilot.

Something dd's drama school teacher told her - nervous is the same biological response as excited it's just our perception that's different.

Getting them focussed on slides is good so they aren’t looking directly at you
Also practice so that you gain confidence that it will go well
And remember that you will (presumably) be the expert in the room on your topic
You will feel so good when you have done it & then it will be easier next time 😊

@Gimmeashake I present a lot, and what makes my nerves disappear is reframing the whole thing as, "I am here to serve these people, they need to know what I know, I am here as a helper to teach them things they want to hear about, it's not about me looking clever but about me being a humble assistant" etc. etc. basically flipping it around so that I stop worrying about how I will appear, and think about what the audience needs to walk away with.

I was going to say exactly what Mother said. I saw a talk by an actor recently, someone asked him about nerves and he said that's how he coped.

Do you practice controlled breathing? It triggers the vagus nerve to switch anxiety off.
Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth, slowly count to 3 and gradually increase to 5 or 6. Practice when you are feeling calm and it soon comes as second nature.

At the same time practice a relaxed posture, and check your tongue isn't glued to the top of your mouth.

“Stimulating the vagus nerve,” per a recent Harvard Health blog post, “activates your relaxation response, reducing your heart rate and blood pressure.” And: Deep breathing “turns on the vagus nerve enough that it acts as a brake on the stress response,”
www.thecut.com/2019/05/i-now-suspect-the-vagus-nerve-is-the-key-to-well-being.html

Knowing your content is important but if you have difficulty memorising then put enough information on the slides that you can comfortably read them and then adlib other details if you want.

Visualisation techniques can be helpful for imagining how you want to appear, the speed you want to speak, how relaxed you want to be, how you will feel when it's finished.

If you're going to have to do a lot of presentations then you could consider joining Toastmasters. There are branches everywhere, full of people practising for work or weddings or fun.

It's worse doing it in front of people that you know. I don't know why - it just is. In the same way that internal job interviews are hell.

I can give presentations to strangers quite easily; I'm not thrilled but I don't particularly care. Make me do it for colleagues and I'm sweating palms anxious and feel sick for days. I just find it embarrassing.

It'll be OK. Just grit your teeth and tell yourself you have to get through it. Practise, practise, practise until you're sick of it and the memory will carry you through if you start to falter. Breathe from your diaphragm and consciously make an effort to lower your voice and slow down. And fake it till you make it - pretend to yourself that you feel confident and in control and concentrate on making your audience feel relaxed and safe in your hands.

Good luck!

I find it much harder talking in front of people that I know. You will be fab - once you get going, it will be fine. Just keep thinking "it'll be over soon" and plan something lovely for afterwards to reward yourself.

Beta blockers (call gp tomorrow)
Square breathing
Practise practise practise
And remember that most of us feel the same!!

Everyone hates presentations.

Nope. I love them. Always have.

I do wonder why so many are put in the position of having to do them if it’s not something they are ok with doing. If it’s not a core part of your job, you shouldn’t be forced in to it.

Propranolol made my tummy very upset when I first started taking it so beware!

So many great tips - thank you. Yes so much worse in front of people you know, urgh! I will feel great afterwards so will focus on that. I'm not sure about meds... sounds daft but feels a bit like cheating Anxiety really is a horrible feeling and so powerful. I wish it was more acceptable to say "No thanks. I don't fancy doing that!" Not the case unfortunately. I'll let you know how it goes!

I did it! And of course, it was fine rolls eyes . The anticipatory anxiety is a killer but I think is par for the course....certainly the case with me as I never learn that it really will be ok. What really helped was kind of 'acting' , telling myself this is who I am today, someone who is good at these things. Also, breathing, always good (!) and actually not fighting it. I let the anxiety come, peak and wash over me. Thank you mumsnetters. Your advice really helped me believe I could do it. And oh my goodness, the sweet, joyous relief when it's over - is there a better feeling

Well done!

Brilliant @Gimmeashake

Well done! And thanks for the update

Well done!