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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Saying no.....

37 replies

Hadenoughofitall441 · 30/01/2020 17:12

Decided to have McDonald’s for dinner as not really feeling 100% and couldn’t be arsed to cook, DP took my sister (15) and when they were on the way there she calls to ask if they can get Pizza Hut instead. I said no because the kids already know we are having McDonald’s and DS has asd and once he knows that’s it. Also it’s super expensive. So DP calls me to remind him of the PIN number for shared credit card and tells me DSis is only getting a McFlurry. They get in and she’s automatically in a mood because I wouldn’t spend the £11.99 on the Pizza Hut deal for her forgetting there are 4 more of us so it will cost considerably more. She’s telling the dog that no one cares about her, the kids always come first etc etc. She knew before she left they were going to McDonald’s and didnt say anything. She’s tried this before and my mum has told her to stop being ungrateful but as my mums at work she’s gone full on no one cares, my brother comes in and asks her what’s wrong and she tells him and as he’s not agreed with her she’s gone up stairs. She said she can’t pay herself because she needs her money to go to someone’s birthday dinner tomorrow. Tell me I’m not being unreasonable as she’s lucky she was getting McDonald’s. We include her in everything, even take her on holiday every year as my mum doesn’t travel. I just feel like I’m being made out to be the bad guy just because I’m not putting up with her Brattish ways.

OP posts:
ItsJustASimpleLine · 30/01/2020 17:15

100% the right thing to do, it was McDonalds for tea or sort yourself out. Let her have her huff.

windycuntryside · 30/01/2020 17:18

Hope she learns no is no. Teens are selfish though so don’t hold a grudge (for too long).

mbosnz · 30/01/2020 17:20

You are not being unreasonable. It comes under the heading of 'eat it or don't'.

Anniegetyourgun · 30/01/2020 17:22

McDonald's is evil though...

averythinline · 30/01/2020 17:22

is there stuff she can make herself? why hasnt your mum left her food for her dinner? or is the arrangement you feed her?

McDonalds isnt much in the way of food for a teen I think...maybe shes still hungry (My DC are ravenous about 30mins later) a mc flurry wouldnt touch the sides...

I would prefer pizza to McD as well so maybe she is last in the pecking order...
you sound like you're resenting her - but if you're supposed to feed her is your mum giving you any money for that? its not her fault you dont feel like cooking

why should she spend her pocket money on her dinner- that seems really mean....

AryaStarkWolf · 30/01/2020 17:24

Of course YANBU, she sounds very ungrateful but she's 15..............she'll grow out of it (hopefully)

NotSorry · 30/01/2020 17:24

Wow 113% not unreasonable OP Grin

Saying no.....
averythinline · 30/01/2020 17:24

I'm not saying its your fault for not wanting to cook either ....but she needs fed

show her the cupboard and let her cook herself something....
she's probably Hangry...

Hadenoughofitall441 · 30/01/2020 17:27

The only reason she’s not eating is because she wants the Pizza Hut and no ones buying for her. She could have had mcdonalds. There is stuff she can cook herself and I asked her if she wanted her fave and she said it’s not what I want. I’m not holding a grudge but my mums already told me neither me or my brother were like this as teens and that she’s by far the worst.

OP posts:
Hadenoughofitall441 · 30/01/2020 17:28

Just to clarify no one said she had to buy McDonald’s herself that’s what we were offering so of course I’m paying like I pay for most stuff if we take her out and my Mum if she takes my kids out.

OP posts:
RebelWithVerySharpClaws · 30/01/2020 17:31

The youngest?

Hadenoughofitall441 · 30/01/2020 17:33

@RebelWithVerySharpClaws Yes, she’s 16 years younger than me and 13 years younger than my brother.

OP posts:
IceCreamFace · 30/01/2020 17:35

I can imagine feeling terribly hard done by as a teenager too - no one ever listens to my very important opinions about fast food. I'd be kind about her teenage moodiness but I wouldn't give in to it! You did the right thing!

OhMeows · 30/01/2020 17:35

Blimey do you all live together?

Nothing2doooooo · 30/01/2020 17:38

You're definitely not BU! She's 15. She'll get over it or learn to deal with disappointment.

You did nothing wrong.

Someonesayroadtrip · 30/01/2020 17:41

You are obviously NOT being unreasonable. Think it's a difficult age when they think the world revolves around them. She has a McFlurry, she's fine. Say she is welcome to make some toast or whatever she fancies if she's hungry later.

Nothing2doooooo · 30/01/2020 17:44

This case aside though, I do sense a slight cry/need for emotional attention from her. You're not her mum so it's not exactly on you but perhaps you could do something with her, a big sis/ little sis kind of bonding time. Kids who feel unheard/unseen/unloved have issues.

HopeYouStepOnALego · 30/01/2020 17:48

My DDs can be like this. One likes Pizza Hut, the other likes Dominos. Whichever one loses out will sulk like nobody's business!

Letseatgrandma · 30/01/2020 17:52

We include her in everything

I don’t see why-she’s not your child and she’s being extremely rude and ungrateful.

I would stop including her in anything and her mum can explain why.

Nothing2doooooo · 30/01/2020 17:54

Yes but she's her sister and still a child (ish). Don't think including her should be a big deal but maybe it's just me.

2girls3dogs · 30/01/2020 17:57

Maybe something else has happened in her day? She’s craving attention. Does she spend enough time with your mum? Quality 1 on 1 time. You’re a lovely sister to include her and I’m sure deep down she does appreciate it

Mlou32 · 30/01/2020 18:20

Ungrateful little shit. Don't give in. She had her choice for tea - McDonald's and she chose not to take it.

Hadenoughofitall441 · 30/01/2020 19:08

So she got her way, my brothers gf is staying the night and they have brought her pizza because they couldn’t be bothered to listen to her moaning. 🤦🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
GreenTulips · 30/01/2020 19:13

Then every time refer her to your brother.

Let him have the hassle.

CakeandCustard28 · 30/01/2020 19:20

No offence but of course your kids come before your sister, I would be telling her to grow up a bit. A 15 year old should know better. You’re not her mum lol!