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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to block partner's mum on social media?

37 replies

Nervousnellie1 · 30/01/2020 10:27

I have been with my partner 4 years and we have a 4 month old son together. My partner was pretty much raised by his grandparents who are dead now. I never met them but they sounded like lovely people. I've met his mother twice and the two times I've met her she doesn't acknowledge me at all, I don't know if she's just rude or if it's nerves but it really bothers me. I've told my partner I don't feel comfortable around his mother and it actually upsets me that she treats me like this. I try to speak to her but she looks the other way and doesn't give me anything back so I don't want to be around her. When I had given birth to our son last year she came to the hospital to see him and didn't acknowledge my existence at all and acted like he was just my partner's child. She hasn't seen my son since he was born and has made no effort to see him either, I've told other half he can take our son to see her if he wishes but I want to part in this. I think of when my son is older and if he seen her treat me this way, that wouldn't be a good thing for him to witness. I'd rather just stay away from her for my own mental sanity too as it really bothers me and the way she was after I gave birth is still very fresh in my mind and has made me feel unimportant and small, I think it's affected me more than I thought it would. Anyway.. When my partner puts pictures up of my son on social media his mum comments saying "my boy" meaning my son. I know this sounds really pathetic but this upsets me as she has only met him once and has never asked to see him again. It's actually getting to a point where I can feel my blood boiling when she puts these comments. I'm not friends with her on social media but do you think it would be a good idea to block her so I can't see these comments or am I being totally unreasonable?

OP posts:
CalmdownJanet · 30/01/2020 10:32

Block her, since you don't get on and she sounds like a bitch anyway you could comment "😂 you met him once, will you stop with social media granny who gives a shit pretence" every single time Grin. I'd never be that brave though so don't listen to me

NoMorePoliticsPlease · 30/01/2020 10:34

I do not think its a good thing to put pictures on social media. It is illegal in Europe

albus55 · 30/01/2020 10:41

My mother in law and sister in law are exactly the same. Vile people we have nothing to do with but if you looked at their FB you would think they were nana and auntie of the year. Only solution is to stop putting pictures on social media which to be honest is best all round.

Limensoda · 30/01/2020 10:42

Just ignore it. There's no point in getting angry about it. Your partner may be pleased his mother is acknowledging his son. It doesn't harm you (unless you choose to dwell on it) so let it go.

JustfiedandAncient · 30/01/2020 10:42

I do not think its a good thing to put pictures on social media. It is illegal in Europe

Do you have a source for this?

Nicknacky · 30/01/2020 10:44

How is putting photos on social media illegal in Europe?! 😂

SummerWhisper · 30/01/2020 11:23

Is your partner supportive? Does he acknowledge that his mother is a weirdo? If he does, then it doesn't matter what the old crank puts on social media. If he minimises or ignores it, then he is colluding with her behaviour and that could be the source of your angst.

RalphWiggumsWedgie · 30/01/2020 11:42

I do not think its a good thing to put pictures on social media. It is illegal in Europe

I'd better get straight on to all my friends and family in various parts of Europe. They will need to take down all those family photos before the Internet Police arrive.

Thelnebriati · 30/01/2020 11:50

I try to speak to her but she looks the other way

Hold a biscuit out to her and make kissy noises.

lilmishap · 30/01/2020 11:55

@TheInebriati Grin

Thelnebriati · 30/01/2020 11:58

She sounds awful, how can anyone see a grown adult act like that and not take the piss out of them? Grin

TabbyMumz · 30/01/2020 12:05

Why on earth did you allow her on your fb in the first place? If you dont want to block her, just take her off as a viewer when you put pics up.

NameChangeNugget · 30/01/2020 12:10

What are you talking about @NoMorePoliticsPlease?

Can you provide a link to your made up statement?

GoodnightJude1 · 30/01/2020 12:15

I wouldn’t block her myself....I’d want to know what she was writing about my son!
If she wrote ‘my boy’ under a pic of my son, having only met him once, I’m pretty sure I’d have to comment back ‘I’m surprised you recognise him...’ or ‘no, actually he’s MY boy’ but I have an evil exMIL and have learnt how to deal with her now Grin

SandAndSea · 30/01/2020 12:16

I love the biscuit idea! Grin You could also make a point of always wearing fancy dress. I love the thought of you sitting there in a clown outfit and no one saying anything.

Seriously though, she sounds awful and you're right not to want anything to do with her.

I'm not sure if I would block her but I might.

I agree with PPs advising you not to post pics on SM. This would solve the problem.

BlueJava · 30/01/2020 12:24

Just block her so you don't see her posts. No point getting wound up by her. My motto is always to keep the drama down and it sounds like you'll need to stick to that too!

m0therofdragons · 30/01/2020 12:26

Grinillegal to post pictures of babies in Europe! You do realise the UK is in Europe (even when we leave the union we'll be in the continent of Europe). I think this wins "fake news" award for the day!

Urkiddingright · 30/01/2020 12:55

Ultra annoying when people separate the UK from Europe, we are not a continent... Also definitely not illegal to put photos on SM Grin.

Just block her OP, she sounds like a twat.

FizzyGreenWater · 30/01/2020 12:58

Reply to her comment:

'Hello X how lovely to see you on here. Yes, our boy is amazing, and he is so totally different now to when you met him so briefly that one time! Let me know if you would like to meet him again, it would be lovely for him to see you properly now he is a bit bigger and begin to know who his Granny is!'

Beyond reproach... and yet it will embarrass and infuriate her in equal measure and quite possibly put a dead stop to all SM commenting. And if she replies cattily... she'll only look worse. :)

Ihatesundays · 30/01/2020 13:01

What’s she going to do if you block her? Stop speaking to you..oh she doesn’t do that anyway Confused screw her.

Drum2018 · 30/01/2020 13:02

Has your dp never confronted her about this issue? I cannot imagine my Dh ever allowing his family to ignore me. He'd certainly call them out on it if they did, and I'd do the same if my family did it to him. Maybe you dp should block her on SM so she doesn't get to see anything, given she doesn't bother her arse with ye besides.

Soundbyte · 30/01/2020 13:04

'Hello X how lovely to see you on here. Yes, our boy is amazing, and he is so totally different now to when you met him so briefly that one time! Let me know if you would like to meet him again, it would be lovely for him to see you properly now he is a bit bigger and begin to know who his Granny is!'

This is perfect.

Cyberlibre · 30/01/2020 13:06

Sorry op but I can't take the post seriously after someone reckons it is illegal to post photos on social media. SOCIAL media.

Areallthenamestaken · 30/01/2020 16:26

Block her.

I've blocked my MIL and SIL just after we got married because I found them infuriating and after 4 years I'd had enough. I see them every week or so and we get on loads better now, we just pretend I 'don't have' social media.

Honestly it's not worth the upset, especially if you never see her.

AryaStarkWolf · 30/01/2020 16:29

Has your OH ever pulled her up on it? If my mother treated my husband like that she wouldn't be seeing our child at all

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