Last autumn 2 friends & myself went on a weekend break. It was a great success so we decided to book another one for a similar time this year & agreed to talk dates.
As soon as we got home, friend 1 messaged to say she'd found a great apartment and had taken the liberty of reserving it for a weekend in September as it could be cancelled up to 3 months in advance. I checked the calendar & saw DH was due to work a 12 hour shift across that entire long weekend. Although our DC are teens & don't need childcare as such, DH has to leave for work long before they need to be up and I'm not sure at this stage whether I trust them to get up & out without supervision. In addition, DC1 (ASD) will have just started college by then and I have no idea how he'll settle and adapt to the change of routine. It will also be the start of DC2 (also some SEN) getting themselves to school without DC1. Friend 2 (single, no kids) insisted the weekend must be in September due to her other commitments. Friend 1 (kids at Uni) had more flexibility. I checked other weekends in September but none were any better for DH's shifts. As I don't think it reasonable to ask him to take leave just for me to go away, I explained that I wouldn't be able to commit to the weekend so far out. Friend 1 said this was fine and we could talk again nearer the time. Friend 2 didn't comment.
A few weeks ago, friend 2 went to stay with friend 1 and was introduced to 2 of her friends. Apparently, the apartment booked is huge so they were invited to join us on the trip (fine by me). Then they found some flights that they were keen to get booked. As I still cannot commit to the weekend, I agreed that they should go ahead and book for themselves. Luckily, I work in travel so can get cheap/last minute flights easily so said I would book for myself and join them for all or part of the weekend when I knew the situation with the kids. Fine.
However, the group chat has been buzzing ever since with ideas for excursions that they seem keen to book up. There is also a particular event they want to book for one evening but are hanging back because of me. I now feel I should drop out of the weekend as I am clearly hindering their plans and, in reality, I won't know how DC1 is coping with college until a week or 2 before the trip. I feel that however I word it, it will come across that I'm pissed off and flouncing.
In truth. although I accept that my childcare issues are not their problem, I do feel disappointed that they went ahead with the weekend even though I'd said from the outset that those dates were tricky. It was just lucky that the preferred weekend for last year's trip fell on DH's rest days (of which he has plenty).
AIBU to drop out now and, if so, how do I play it.