Am I being precious ?

[opinionminion]

I've had a flu type virus ... started on Sunday and I've been in bed since. Been drinking water (had bottled) and taking painkillers but only eaten half slice of toast.
Literally felt so bad ... my temperature was through the roof and ache terribly. Managed to get up an hour a go and venture downstairs. Had a few spoons of yogurt and back in bed. I feel wobbly (understandably) and exhausted.
I am definitely over the worst.

My question is ... I live on my own and my boyfriend of five months lives an hour away.
He knew I was feeling poorly and has messaged me once a day.
I drive to his after work on a Friday and stay until Sunday then drive home run around doing washing / ironing/ food shopping ready for the working week ahead. He comes over midweek stays for a few hours then goes home.
AIBU to expected more care from him when it was clear I felt so unwell ?

50/50 really. Would be nice if he made more of an effort but then he might not want to catch anything which is quiet reasonable.

I don’t agree with you always having to go to his tho for the weekend, why can’t he come to you?

1. why do you always go to his?

2. have you asked him for help?

Imo suggest alternate week ends of travelling. Likely you will see if he is committed or not.
1 text a day is really rubbish op.

He has a bigger home, it's on the coast and I don't mind, but it's my effort ... to even drop a box of paracetamol through my door with a little note would have been lovely. I guess I'm feeling extra sensitive !

I hadn't asked for help as I was too poorly to even bother. Tonight, as I'm feeling a bit brighter it's made me realise actually how much does he care ? He's not called me once not even left a message !

I think it’s unreasonable to expect someone to drive an hour to drop something through the letter box. But he. He could have rang tho.

Your effort =being a martyr /doormat.
Suggest taking turns and await his response. It will reveal a lot imo

Ask him to travel this week end as you are recuperating.
Bet he says just leave it this week end then...

i think it sounds a bit rubbish that he hasn't bothered to phone and ask how you are

I think you are a bit, TBH. It's early days in your relationship. I would be asking friends locally for help if needed. It may be that he's not calling as he doesn't want to wake you if you're asleep. This could actually be him trying to be considerate.

Sounds shit to me.

He comes over a couple of hours a week and can’t be arsed calling when you’re ill?

Is he a boyfriend or a fwb?

Early days yet op is giving up her whole week end.
You are worth more op.

Whynosnowyet this is what I will do.

You are so being unreasonable! You don't have MAN FLU. You only have woman flu. How on earth do you expect him to feel?

I sympathise, YANBU, but... Us women take it on the chin and shoulder on and because you have NOT made a fuss, he thinks it's all okay.

When I first met my husband his version of Treatment to the unwell was to leave them be and let it them sleep it off. No contact because your unwell. I however don’t agree and require lots of fuss and attention I soon made this very clear to him and he’s a bit better with it than he used to be.

You’re not being over sensitive. He should have at least have been on the phone every day.

He may not realise how bad you’ve felt with not actually seeing you. I tend to be a bit blasé with illness unless of course it’s life threatening. It’s that time of year with lots of colds and flu.

Why would he visit when he can catch something from you? Why should he drop stuff round if he’s an hour away?

But.....he could’ve text more or text and asked if you’re up for a catch up chat and pre arrange a time to have a bit of a chat.

If you choose to go every weekend you can’t give him grief for it! Suggest alternate weeks to mix things up for each other, he might enjoy doing things where you live!

You expect him to do a 2 hour round trip to drop some paracetamol through your door? That's precious.

How often does he message when you're not ill?

I wouldn't be going to his house this weekend, certainly. Ask him to come to yours, and he can do all the housework that you aren't feeling up to.

If I was as ill as you sound I couldn't be arsed speaking to anyone on the phone. Sounds like he's given you space to get better and presumably you're capable of asking for help if required. I'm a terrible patient though

RedDiamond I hear you. He is not me. Yes early days in the relationship perhaps I'm expecting too much.
GiveHerHellFromMe I just meant more concern. I'm going to stay here anyway this weekend.

I get that that's why I asked how often he normally makes contact. Is this more/less/the same as usual?

If it's less he's a shit head.
If it's more then he's made the effort.
If it's the same he obviously thinks you're not massively ill which means it'll be good fun when he gets man flu.

It’s only been five months, you don’t live together and he lives an hour away. Sorry but I wouldn’t have done any more than he has done either. I tend to just back off and leave people to it if they’re poorly, because that’s what I want. Can’t imagine anything worse than someone coming and fussing around when I’m sick

PineappleTart as I said a phone message would have been nice. No contact from him at all since this morning. I appreciate I wasn't dying but I would have done anything to help if he was ill.