To wear a second hand bridesmaid dress?

[LajesticVantrashell]

My friend is getting married in September. I'm a bridesmaid (there are three of us) and she's given us 'dove grey' as a rough guide on colour. We can wear whatever style we want but we're paying for them ourselves.

I saw a lovely grey dress online when I was having a quick look, but it was £150 which I can't afford (after paying for hen do and wedding accommodation too).

So I looked on eBay and managed to find an almost identical one in my size. I bid on it (99p) and forgot about it, so was shocked when I found out a few days later I'd won it!

I told my friend as I was so chuffed and didn't think she'd mind as she's not paying, but she's gone mental. She thinks it's disrespectful not to buy something new and if I can't be bothered to spend money on a nice outfit then I obviously don't care about being a bridesmaid to her.

The dress is yet to arrive and if it looks shit then of course I'll not wear, but AIBU?? Why should I spend £150 on a dress when I can get one for a fraction of the price??!!

At my wedding my SIL dress was an EBay bargain it was a Ronald Joyce bridesmaid dress and cost £17, new it would have been about £150 I washed it in the machine and she had it slightly altered and she looked stunning nobody would've known.
You pay you choose and that works both ways.

If she wants to dictate what the bridesmaids are to wear, she should be paying for the the dresses and accessories.

If she’s your friend you need to sit her down and tell her she’s being ridiculous. She needs to calm down before she alienates the people that love her.

It’s not fair to expect people to spend £00s on attending a wedding, even if they are bridesmaids. By her own rules, surely she “doesn’t care” enough about her own wedding if she won’t even choose or buy the bridesmaids dresses?!