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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To think there will be more cases like this one? Errol Graham, starved to death.

292 replies

BillHadersNewWife · 29/01/2020 14:20

www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-51283186

Mr. Graham had his benefits stopped and despite having genuine problems was left alone to starve.

www.disabilitynewsservice.com/the-death-of-errol-graham-man-starved-to-death-after-dwp-wrongly-stopped-his-benefits/?fbclid=IwAR2eRG_-He70F0dQ9tlHzysRvoLijGdROWhM94pn58cmDPclIxTJgVwEwwg

It's absolutely sickening and worrying.

OP posts:
CatherineOfAragonsPomegranate · 29/01/2020 22:05

@Hoppymclimpy Thank you, so sorry you've been treated like that. Booths?!

Reading your comment makes me feel sick as it actually sounds like it's still the same. Worse even.

This is why I just cannot understand why the Tories have been voted in 4 times in the last decade.

Oh I can. There's been a very successful and joined up media campaign orchestrated to turn scrutiny away from big corporations, the banking system and our politicians and to all the people at the lower end.

All the TV companies have been producing a stream of benefit propaganda programs, Benefits Street. Benefits by the fucking sea. Fat and on Benefits, Rich House Poor House, Benefit fraud programs....you name it. If it was about a different minority section of society it would never be allowed.

I mean there's a program called Can't pay? We'll take it away!! I know it's not about benefits precisely, but the title! Why would I be interested in watching something like that?

Yet people do.

I reckon we'll have at least another 10 years of Tory. You can't change the spirit of the country.

I would sign that petition but feel very pessimistic about it. I used to sign loads. None of them resulted in any change.

StoneofDestiny · 29/01/2020 22:16

If the petition gets enough signatures it has to be debated in Parliament, so at least there is a 'voice' speaking up for people embroiled in tragic circumstances and unable to find the way out of the chaos.

june2007 · 29/01/2020 22:20

My point is sometimes you can,t help someone who won,t except/engage with help. No it,s not his fault, yes he was ill but how can people help if they are pushed away. I know a man who died in a door way. He had mental health probs and alcohol issues known to soo many. He didn,t engage with help, even though there were many offers. AS a for po said to me you could never peal back the layers . Is that the governments fault?

StoneofDestiny · 29/01/2020 22:23

For every homeless person living on the streets, for every lonely old person Who never gets visitors, every child in care, every society dropout we can say 'where are the family, what are they doing'.

Meanwhile .........the Welfare State is supposed to provide a safety net to prevent people without support from ending up desperate and in despair.

Multiple failings are happening daily, multiple enquiries take place, many column inches record 'the tragedy' but we forget and move on. We all need to be outraged more and use our votes to bring in government who show compassion and care for the most vulnerable in our society.

BigChocFrenzy · 29/01/2020 23:00

Some people with money do die of self-neglect and refusal to ask for help
However, this poor man died because his benefits were stopped

It is govt policy that services to help the most vulnerable have been cut, so that more of those whose condition worsens will slip through the net and die

It is govt policy to create all these hurdles for disabled people to obtain benefits to live and keep those benefits

It is govt policy that the DWP can stop benefits to a disabled person who is so obviously longterm vulnerable without finding out why the disengagement, without checking if they need help.

A person can starve to death within a few weeks if their money is cut off
They can die even sooner if starvation exacerbates an existing health problem

FrogsFrogs · 29/01/2020 23:07

A lot of responses to this thread seem to be

Well, what can you do

Combine the running down of NHS, defunding of 3rd sector, punitive welfare health policy etc etc

And. Yes there is something that can be done.
Because 20 years ago, this didn't happen nearly so much.

MaxNormal · 29/01/2020 23:10

My point is sometimes you can,t help someone who won,t except/engage with help

But why stop their benefits?

theunknownknown · 29/01/2020 23:14

The fact that 24% of voters think yabu OP is staggering and utterly disgusts me.
A pound to a penny they are all tories.

GrolliffetheDragon · 29/01/2020 23:15

Still Britain wanted a Tory Government as per usual, so We’ve got a Tory Government.

England. England wanted a Tory government. And inflicted it on the rest of us.

Lalala205 · 29/01/2020 23:18

There's plenty with no family at all who this could happen to as well though. Or older people who don't 'want to worry anyone', so tell people they're fine. Neighbours often don't even know each other now.

theunknownknown · 29/01/2020 23:27

Grolliffe
Not London.
London didn't vote for this.

stargazer2030 · 29/01/2020 23:30

He should legally have had 2 dwp safe and well visits before any sanctions were imposed. This didn’t happen.

punknarwhal · 29/01/2020 23:39

The police officer who said there was no food except two tins of out of date fish should have informed somebody.

CatherineOfAragonsPomegranate · 29/01/2020 23:45

Signed it @StoneofDestiny (That's very Arthurian vibe by the way)

theunknownknown · 29/01/2020 23:51

punknarwhal
Wasn't he was dead by then?!
I'm pretty sure that police officer did inform someone at that point.
But isn't that the point, that at the time Mr Graham died, he had literally no food in his house.
Shame on the tories and those who vote for them.

TARSCOUT · 29/01/2020 23:56

Listened to this on radio this morning. Officials had phoned, written, made more than one visit but never able to contact him. Family all estranged..Absolutely awful but how to change things?

punknarwhal · 30/01/2020 00:31

I thought she was there before that but maybe the article I read was badly written.

Gingerkittykat · 30/01/2020 01:16

Those who are blaming the family obviously have no idea of what it is like trying to care for someone with a severe mental health condition.

My niece is like this man, she has bipolar and is clearly unwell but not unwell enough to be sectioned. Her life is extremely chaotic, including upping and moving to Spain in a manic episode and having to be rescued a few weeks later. The last we heard she was in a depressive episode, only leaving her room to eat and go to the toilet. She was with her grandparents at this time.

My sister has done everything she can to help her, including trying to get her to move home. She chucked away her phone in October because she was finding contact with people too stressful so we have no way to talk to her, it breaks my heart to see how upset my sister is. She cried when my niece was talked into talking to her on the phone briefly on Xmas day but there has been no contact since. My sister has done everything she can including trying to take her to appointments and bailing her out financially.

In the past year she has moved between family and friends, having to leave when her behaviour got out of control. She ended up in prison briefly on remand for violence and we were hoping being there would actually get her some help but she was let out after a fortnight. She ended up in a homeless hostel briefly but got thrown out, that was just before she went to prison. She is on some kind of supervision order now where she needs to have regular appointments, hopefully she will get some help there.

There is nothing a family can do in this situation except watch as your loved one self destructs, she has made several suicide attempts over the past two years.

As for benefits, universal credit are more punitive than ESA. Her whole claim was shut down for one missed appointment, she had to go through the application process and wait 5 weeks for another payment. At least with ESA there was some leeway for missed appointments.

Those to say she needs to take more responsibility don't realise how little insight people with certain illnesses have into their behaviour. When she is in a depression she actually does better as her brain is not going at a million miles an hour but with mania she does all kinds of things that seem stupid to the rest of us.

Dorsetdays · 30/01/2020 06:30

I said it before and didn’t get an answer...what is it exactly people expect the DWP to do when even the family and friends of this man couldn’t get him to engage, accept help, see his GP or access any support?

The only option is simply not to impose any benefit sanctions on anyone ever just in case they have medical or MH issues regardless of whether there’s any information to support that.

In an ideal world maybe that’s a solution but unfortunately the benefits pot isn’t limitless so there has to be some criteria for accessing those funds.

BillHadersNewWife · 30/01/2020 07:01

Dorse or to stop imposing sanctions for ridiculous reasons.

OP posts:
slipperywhensparticus · 30/01/2020 07:10

When your benefits were stopped prior you were given a basic minimum amount to live on of fifty pounds a week plus you had to ask for your housing benefits to be returned to you but no one ever told you that so it was word of mouth

Dorsetdays · 30/01/2020 07:17

Bill. I suppose the question is what’s a ‘ridiculous’ reason though isn’t it?

On the face of it, not turning up to several appointments, not providing the required medical information, not responding to emails, letters and phone calls and not answering the door aren’t actually ridiculous reasons are they?

We know that in this case all of those things happened because this man had MH issues but I genuinely don’t think that we can simply blame the DWP when the reality is that none of his family or friends could do anything to help and neither could his GP. All people who should be his closest support and potentially advocating on his behalf and knowing that this was out of character for him.

If they couldn’t reach him how do we expect a total stranger to do that.

needanewnamechange · 30/01/2020 07:58

I said it before and didn’t get an answer...what is it exactly people expect the DWP to do when even the family and friends of this man couldn’t get him to engage, accept help, see his GP or access any support?
I said in my post earlier
You Don't stop benefits . They could contact relevant authorities: next of kin anything not stop benefits and walk away .
You can all argue who's to blame but the government is to blame as they don't want to look after the disabled and vulnerable .
You do not stop benefits you should be flagging this up . The government, the DWP and the relevant authorities should be hanging their heads in shame . You can always do something. They chose not to as not my job mate . Disgusting

Panpastels · 30/01/2020 07:59

Family and friends shouldn't be part of this thought process; many don't have any. The point was he was vulnerable and had his benefits stopped incorrectly.

Dorsetdays · 30/01/2020 08:08

No he didn’t, he had his benefits stopped because he failed to engage, turn up for appointments or provide medical evidence. Not saying it’s right that he wasn’t supported but I don’t see how one stranger can do that when his own family, friends and GP couldn’t or didn’t.

I understand some people don’t have family around them but that’s the not the case here.