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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To think there will be more cases like this one? Errol Graham, starved to death.

292 replies

BillHadersNewWife · 29/01/2020 14:20

www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-51283186

Mr. Graham had his benefits stopped and despite having genuine problems was left alone to starve.

www.disabilitynewsservice.com/the-death-of-errol-graham-man-starved-to-death-after-dwp-wrongly-stopped-his-benefits/?fbclid=IwAR2eRG_-He70F0dQ9tlHzysRvoLijGdROWhM94pn58cmDPclIxTJgVwEwwg

It's absolutely sickening and worrying.

OP posts:
safariboot · 29/01/2020 18:29

Absolutely there will be.

Last year 726 homeless people died in Britain. Many will have been in a very similar situation; Errol Graham's death has only made the news because he died before he was evicted.

Kljnmw3459 · 29/01/2020 18:30

Right, so it's actually his family's fault. Gotcha.

coldwarenigma · 29/01/2020 18:30

He, and others in similar circumstances, may not have had a brilliant relationship with family...how many times on here are posters told 'go no contact' on having arguments with family..

RipleysCat · 29/01/2020 18:32

I did read somewhere that this man had cut out contact from his family, and this marries up with him not going to the GP or answering the DWP which he had done so previously.
Regardless of whether his family should have been there for him, which I do agree with.
Others do not have families at all, and some people will never engage with agencies sent in to help them, so there still needs to be a safety net put in properly at the DWP so that highly vulnerable people like this man with complex issues doesn’t not have money stopped after a couple of visits. They could have called for a welfare check etc.
This poor man was found weighing just 28.5kg Sad

needanewnamechange · 29/01/2020 18:35

Shocking but not surprised . I've had to claim pip for my ds . The call handlers don't sound very interested and unhelpful, one in particular told me to shut up .
No empathy for the disabled and vulnerable in this country and it's only going to get worse .

PettyContractor · 29/01/2020 18:37

This isn't a benefits system problem, it's a vulnerable adult support problem.

FurrySlipperBoots · 29/01/2020 18:38

He, and others in similar circumstances, may not have had a brilliant relationship with family...how many times on here are posters told 'go no contact' on having arguments with family..

I was just going to say this! I don't believe people should have to care for their parents if they don't want to - the parents chose to have them, not the other way round. Personally I love my parents, have a close relationship with them and will absolutely be there fighting their corner if they need me, but I don't believe anyone should have to out of duty, forced to disregard any impact on their own mental or physical health, finances, and quality of life. Ultimately citizens are the government's responsibility.

StoneofDestiny · 29/01/2020 18:40

Sign the petition today?

bit.ly/37AzAfO

FrogsFrogs · 29/01/2020 18:42

Read this earlier terribly upsetting.

Not the first won't be the last. There have been suicides etc.

Govt will have decided this level of 'collateral damage' is worth it when weighed against their beliefs about benefits etc.

TigerOnATrain · 29/01/2020 18:42

@BillHadersNewWife

YEP, utterly disgusting.

One of the richest countries in the world, with the poorest people.

Words fail me.

And who the fuck said YABU?! Hmm

Poor man. Sad

The treatment of (some) people on benefits, especially very vulnerable people is off-the-scale nasty, vile, and evil.

As long as The Tories are in power it will probably stay the same.

And unless Labour gets a decent leader (ie, not far left, but more centrist,) Tories will rule forever.

What a depressing thought. Sad

TigerOnATrain · 29/01/2020 18:44

@StoneofDestiny

Petition signed. Smile

LoveNote · 29/01/2020 18:44

i don't think this is anything to do with the benefits system

they tried to contact him but he wouldn't engage so they were stopped

LoveNote · 29/01/2020 18:47

where was his family in all this? friends?

you cant force someone to accept help like the med teams tried, but you stand more of a chance of helping if you know them

what should have happened in an ideal world then?

user1471449295 · 29/01/2020 18:48

Absolutely heartbreaking

needanewnamechange · 29/01/2020 18:49

Of course it's a benefits system problem . He was a known vulnerable adult who didn't go to his assessment so they stopped his benefits . More could be done and should of been done . The cuts to the disabled over the last few years are disgusting . If you don't have anyone to help you this happens .

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 29/01/2020 18:52

Right, so it's actually his family's fault.

I think it's fair enough to ask where they were in all this when the daughter-in-law is quoted in the article saying how "heartbreaking" and "horrific" it is for someone to die like that, but not to acknowledge the fact that presumably if she or another relative had paid him any attention when he was alive, this might have been prevented.

Fairenuff · 29/01/2020 18:54

There's a lot more to this story. He refused mental health help. He was a vulnerable adult who should have been sectioned for his own safety. He was, I believe, but he left.

StoneofDestiny · 29/01/2020 18:55

they tried to contact him but he wouldn't engage so they were stopped

Geez - a compassionate system would have responded to the many alarm bells the lack of engagement should have sounded. The only response seemed to be to 'send the bailiffs in'.

Surely somebody thought - how is this person eating, heating their home, surviving with no money?

I've never been on benefits myself, thank god, but the system must be driven by care and compassion in a civilised society. I'd be the first to report fraudsters on the benefits system, but equal vigilance has to be given to the genuinely needy in our country!

StoneofDestiny · 29/01/2020 18:56

Sign the petition today?

bit.ly/37AzAfO

Hoppymclimpy · 29/01/2020 18:59

I read about this pointless and totally preventable death earlier today whilst I sat in my local Jobcentre waiting for my ESA appointment. I've never been inside a Jobcentre before and I came out feeling totally worthless. I was spoken to like a child, told off for being too early for my appointment (?!). They now have booths without any privacy so I had to try and explain my medical situation to an 'employment support coach' with people either side of me and within ear shot of those waiting for their appointments. The coach ended up telling me they didn't really know about ESA but were carrying out my appointment as the coach I was booked with was off. This coach had called me on Monday to tell me when my appointment was.... I did ask if it could be delayed to enable my to get all my evidence ready, I was told I would be sanctioned if I did this.

This is the reality for those of us who are in this situation. I have a degree, I had a well paid job, paid 40% tax etc. I'm disabled through no fault of my own but today I was made to feel 'less than' and frankly a 'problem' that needed to be sorted as quickly as possible. There was no compassion. A totally depressing experience and a very sobering one. This is the UK in 2020 and it terrifies me.

SusieOwl4 · 29/01/2020 19:00

So my parents are struggling with their benefits at the moment so I have taken out power of attorney and I am helping them sort it out . And I call them every other day .

As we all know it’s easy to fall,through the net that’s what you have to do .

GEEpEe · 29/01/2020 19:02

I love how people assume his son is in a better position than his father.

Wilmalovescake · 29/01/2020 19:04

For me the system failed this man when he was allowed to leave his section.

And his family failed him too.

But he had loads of professionals trying to help him. GP, community mental health teams, benefits teams. He didn’t die because the services didn’t want to engage with him. He died because he wouldn’t engage with them.

So for me, the duty of care broke down when he was allowed to leave the section.

LakieLady · 29/01/2020 19:04

it's not uncommon for people with mental illness to avoid contact, not answer phone calls, not answer the door (if you can get there in person)

This. My DB is bi-polar, and has a very long cycle, so he is depressed for years at a time. He lives almost 200 miles away and is a recluse. Our only contact is when I text him every few weeks.

He was getting fortnightly visits from a CPN, because he had to have depo injections as he won't take his anti-psychotics, but he's only on anti-depressants now, so doesn't even have that. If he doesn't reply to texts, I ring his local MH unit to see if he's been admitted. If he's sectioned, they write to (mental health act requirement as I am his next of kin) but if he's admitted voluntarily, they don't let me know.

I could foresee something like this happening to him.

Wilmalovescake · 29/01/2020 19:04

It’s still really bloody tragic.