To find this inappropriate??

[CuriousMumma]

Discussing when and where you lost your virginity with your teenage child?? Inappropriate or not???

Ds is 15 and recently told me that his dad had told him about the time he lost his virginity. He can't remember when he told him exactly but he thinks he was 14. I just find this weird tbh.

(Ex brought a girl back to his parents house where he shared a room and bunk beds with his younger brother, so younger brother heard everything )

Just to add Ds told his dad he was disgusting

I'm on the fence with this one. Does it matter? I am not convinced that it does.

But maybe other people don't agree.

Unless he went into gory details, then not inappropriate.

Ex bought a random woman back to his own parents place when he had his kids over?

That's weird and wrong.

Discussing sex and appropriate adult relations with teens is o.k. in the right context.

I think being able to open a dialogue about sex with your teenagers is probably healthy. Parents are human too and shock have sex.

Depends on why he told him I think but doesn't seem overly weird, although maybe a bit too much detail.

I think if they ask you or it comes up in a natural convo then worth it or if you want to use it as a warning. (perhaps a bad experience and you want your children not to go through a similar ordeal.).

@CuriousMumma
Just reread that and I misunderstood what you wrote.

No I don’t think it’s weird especially at that age. Kids need someone to speak to about such things, I think him opening up about his own experiences could potentially open up the door to trusting his dad if he ever needed advice about the topic in the future

The outdated term of virginity as something tangible, is more inappropriate than a frank open discussion of sex and all things related such as contraception, not being ashamed to discuss the topic in general is important.

But if your son was upset, then you need to talk about chatting in a more sensitive way.

No it's not inappropriate. Parents should have open discussions with their teens about sex.

Not the gory details but the overall sense of I felt it was the decision for me because of xyz or it wasnt and I regretted it because of xyz.

I don't think it's inappropriate unless all the details are given then it's way tmi. But age, regrets/no regrests isn't a big deal.

My son wasn't upset, he said it was embarrassing. He said his dad was boasting about having to creep in and not wake his brother up who was on the top bunk.

Thanks for everyone's input, I have a clouded view on anything his dad does as I hate the man. Needed some impartial views

I think it's inappropriate because he was saying it in a boasting kind of a way. It doesn't really teach your son, who is at that impressionable age about respecting the girl or himself or those around him. It sounds more of a "lads lads lads" story

I think its inappropriate to talk about your own sex life with your children. Talk about sex yes, but talking about your own personal sexual activities is weird. I would be Mortified if my parents had done this.

Not weird at all. Its the start of a conversation between them hopefully about issues that your DS will come across in the next few years and his dad was telling him his experience from a male point of view and undoubtedly you will speak with your DS about sex etc from a females point of view and will aim it at his age group (so yes probably the first time you had sex/kiss/slept over at boys house or you tried it and didn't want to try again or the lad was a bastard and how that felt and please DS don't be like that)

Your ds was clearly uncomfortable with it aswell.

Wait until you are playing cards against humanity, with shots for the least favourite cards!! They are 19 & 21 however😂

I think I would use my first time having sex as a guide to what not to do with my child

Nobody really likes thinking about their parents having sex so for that reason alone, it’s inappropriate.

In this case it sounds inappropriate.

Context is everything
If he was having a discussion where he was teaching your son to be a kind and consenting respectful sex partner , or a cautionary tale, and this story came up - all fine
If it was boasting sexual bravado disrespect to the Woman than obviously no

I had a male friend who would have some bizarrely graphic and sexually explicit discussions and banter with his parents when 14-15 years old.

Still shocks me now when I think of some of the things I remember them saying to each other, very thinly veiled references to him masturbating or his parents openly talking about their sex life to him.

As pp said context is everything and done right it can be a useful convo to have. Your ex however was inappropriate by the sounds of it.

Unless he shared gory details then nope I would be open to talking about it too