To be alone in thinking pregnancy is a horrible experience?

[WhoToTell]

Currently 16 weeks pregnant and am hating every moment of it.

I am so tired of throwing up all the time (from around 5 weeks), the constant headaches and blocked sinus, and the absolute exhaustion. Works a struggle most days because I feel so unwell and its just not easing off like my doctor said it would. I'm so worried I will end up back in hospital on a drip.

Everyone around me keeps going on about the joys of pregnancy, how it's so exciting (just after they hear my throwing up in the work bathrooms).

I feel like such a failure already and am already a bad mum. I struggle to eat anything healthy and just keep crying today.

My pregnancy was hideous from start to finish and you couldn’t pay me to do it again! You’re not being unreasonable.

I had a medically straightforward pregnancy. No throwing up though I felt sick, no bleeding. All my symptoms (apart from the back ache which by 7 months was agony) were irritations (heartburn, snoring, trouble sleeping, eczema etc). I still hated it. I was an emotional mess. I resented my partner for not going through it all with me, I worried I wouldnt bond with the baby, I missed drinking and eating all the banned things, I hated my changing body. I felt like all the fun things in my life had been taken away.

Pregnancy with bad morning sickness or hyperemesis is a completely different animal. I take my hat off to anyone who's gone through it. It looks anything but joyful.

YANBU. I hated every second. Even now a decade later the thought makes me shudder.

I have Tokophobia.

It was absolutely awful. Hated it it, took all my courage to face it again. It’s a truly horrible experience for some of us. I’m sorry it’s rough for you, OP.

All my pregnancies have been HG pregnancies. Absolutely shocking current one included even on medication
I just feel like I’ve constantly got norovirus

Pregnancy is shit. Cannot understand how anyone could enjoy the experience!

I'm 26 weeks pregnant and have had quite bad nausea for much of my pregnancy, as well as tiredness and huge sensitivity to smells - DH's coffee in the morning makes me feel sick to my stomach. However, that's mostly been the worst of it for me (so far) so I can't really complain.

I hate the feeling of vulnerability when I'm out and about - especially worrying about the bump when using the train/tube. Also just the way my body's changing - it's kind of hard to get my head around sometimes.

I miss the social occasions with DH and my friends - going to the pub just isn't quite the same without a glass of vino in hand!

I'm also sick of peeing in a pot every couple of weeks and all the needles - the blood tests, toxo tests, flu jabs, anti-D injections.

I've only got 1.5 weeks till the third trimester though so it does feel like the end is (just about) in sight!

I hated it too. Awful morning sickness, my asthma became really bad, swollen ankles, an alien squirming around inside me! Pregnancy has nothing to do with how you will parent, you'll be fine.

I hated being pregnant. I was really sick for the first 16 weeks, had 2 weeks where I was ok, then spent the rest of the pregnancy drinking gaviscon from the bottle.
My feet swelled up so I could only wear Ugg style boots, and I felt like a beached whale.
DS was totally worth it, but he's an only child.
Everyone says you forget the pain and grim bits, but 13 years on I can still remember it all!!

Yup,

Currently pregnant with No3 and its literally sucking my life and soul. My first 2 i had HG up until 14 weeks and was in and out of hospital on drips and then felt fine.
With this one im 20 weeks and although the HG has stopped im so fucking weak and lazy, absolutely everything is an effort. I have heartburn and headaches which i never had with my last 2, i still retch several times a day and feel sick for most of the day, i cant sleep and see every hour on the clock.

So yeah im pretty miserable to be around.

My one saving grace is i love labour, like really love it!! And i literally feel amazing straight after it and really do bounce back to a normal productive human again. Night feeds dont phase me and i rarely feel tired with a newborn. So in that respect im very lucky and it seems that 9 months of energy that i lose in pregnancy is given back to me one the baby comes out.

It is so worth it by my god its hard, dont put too much pressure on yourself x

I hated being pregnant so much I got sterilized as soon as possible. Big hug from me.

The sickness and exhaustion is no joke. I have a 1 year old as well and keeping up with him in between throwing up is so hard. I think because its pregnancy people don't take the vomiting etc as seriously as they would if it had another cause. On the other hand the scans etc are exciting so that makes it worth it.. Just about! But it's certainly not wall to wall bliss! It's a real physical and emotional roller-coaster

I hated every second. Every single second. And when you hint that you're not really loving it, you feel like you're being judged by so many people who would love to be in your position.

I was a whale. Actually huge, I know everyone feels huge but my bump was off the scale. My work colleagues thought I was full term at 5 months. There's a video of me with my ankles the size of my thighs stuck on the floor unable to get up at 7 months (cheers DH). I had to be wheeled out of work on a chair to a taxi once because I'd taken my shoes off and my colleagues and I couldn't get my shoes back on for the swelling. I couldn't bend them to drive either.

Brightside - pregnancy was so shit that it made the birth a dream. I was so excited to no longer be pregnant that every contraction made me smile from ear to ear.

It'll be the longest 9 months of your life but it's soooo good once it's over. So yeah, you're not alone. Do your best to power through and know it's OK to be absolutely miserable for now!

Yep.
Pregnancy no 1- sunshine and rainbows (threw up when hungry in 1st trimester but I just ate constantly instead!)
Pregnancy no 2- exhausted. As in sleeping as soon as I got home. 3 naps at weekends. 3 naps when working from home. Bad nausea but couldn't throw up. Sinusitis. Really bad SPD from week 10. Couldnt sleep at night because of pain. Multiple Threatened miscarriages. Just horrendous.
If pregnancy 1 had been like pregnancy 2 then I would only have one child!
It feels like a long road but it will end remember. And the advantage of having been so exhausted in pregnancy is that being woken by a baby seems relatively easy!

Take it easy. Dont push yourself. It's not forever remember and it should get easier after 20 weeks. Take lots of breaks. Can you work from home? Or take naps in the first aid room if you have one (and have a friendly manager!)

Btw for sinusitis lots and lots of saline spray.

And yes dont feel like you have to enjoy it. Just choose the right people to complain to. I remember at work everyone asking how I was doing and when I was honest they looked a bit shocked. The other mums and 2nd time pregnant ladies were the best people to answer honestly to though.

Remember that you're not pregnant to be pregnant. It's a huge task your body is undertaking. Think of it as a marathon race- you're not there to enjoy the pain of running youre there to enjoy the joy of the end!

I hated it. Hated every single second.

Love, love my gorgeous little boy though.
Hang in there ♥️

I believed "pregnancy is not an illness" until I was. It absolutely can be!

OP if you are not already, please get medication for the vomiting and if that doesn't help enough, get signed off. It's not worth it.

I loved being pregnant and was actually glad to have morning sickness. After multiple miscarriages I saw it as a good sign. I also throw up really easily because I was sick very frequently as a child so it doesn't impact me as much emotionally. . It's so temporary and I waited so long for it that I really found it magical.

Birth not so much though.

I’m currently 36+4. I absolutely hate being pregnant. Having an elective c section and being sterilised at the same time so I never have to go through pregnancy again.

With DD I had severe sickness until 20 weeks and then horrendous SPD from 24 weeks, was housebound by 30 weeks. This time the sickness was horrendous until 12 weeks and then went to be replaced by almost daily migraines for about 4 weeks. The rest hasn’t been as bad, the SPD isn’t as bad this time because I knew how awful it could get so I’ve done sod all exercise and walking wise since about 16 weeks. I am dog tired, struggling with insomnia and feel like a whale. I’m just so excited to never have to be pregnant again.

Yanbu or a failure. I hated pregnancy and felt like i wasnt in control of my own body anymore. Felt very depressed at the unaccustomed bulkiness and tiredness and i didnt even suffer from sickness.
However I loved motherhood (and still do),
Absolutely adored having my children around and just think pregnancy is the cross i had to bear to have these great people in my life.
You are not alone.

I had a great pregnancy, no sickness whatsoever. But YANBU. We are all different. My mum had an awful pregnancy with me but a lovely one with my brother. You never know.

Hyperemesis is horrendous, it really is. I remember watching a documentary on it and some women had terminations because of it, they just couldn't cope with it.

You are powering through and doing brilliantly. I promise it is going to be so worth it in the end! Commonly it improves around 12-14 weeks but just because yours hasn't yet, doesn't mean it won't. I really hope it does

I am in the exact same position as you OP and it has been hell. I have HG, will be 16 weeks tomorrow, been throwing up since week 4, on 2 different antiemetics (not really making a huge difference, but I am better on them than not), been in and out of hospital for IV fluids, can’t stay awake, can’t swallow my own saliva, constant headaches and blocked sinuses. The worst part is that I am incapable of looking after my toddler. So much guilt.

I have no idea how you are managing to still work. I’ve been signed off since mid- December.

I had HG in my first pregnancy too, so I’ve never experienced “the joys” or whatever that is. You know it’s bad when you are counting down the days to when the sickness stops and not actually having your baby.

I wouldn’t be able to put myself through this again and so I will be stopping at 2 children. Pregnancy has been nothing but torture to me.

I get you OP. This is my second pregnancy which is a very big surprise so to feel ill most of the time is hideous. If I'm not sick, I'm nauseous. I am so tired it's ridiculous. have also looked at reducing my work as I just cannot cope and it's stressing me out.
Occasionally I'll have a good day and then I'm freaking out that I am going to loose the baby. I'm only week 11 so haven't even had a scan yet. Lot's of people are like Oh it'll calm down about week 12, no it won't last time I was sick until week 17 and I lost 1.5 stone in total.
I really just want everything to be okay and to hopefully feel better at some point. I feel sorry for my husband because it's all I talk about.