To be alone in thinking pregnancy is a horrible experience?

[WhoToTell]

Currently 16 weeks pregnant and am hating every moment of it.

I am so tired of throwing up all the time (from around 5 weeks), the constant headaches and blocked sinus, and the absolute exhaustion. Works a struggle most days because I feel so unwell and its just not easing off like my doctor said it would. I'm so worried I will end up back in hospital on a drip.

Everyone around me keeps going on about the joys of pregnancy, how it's so exciting (just after they hear my throwing up in the work bathrooms).

I feel like such a failure already and am already a bad mum. I struggle to eat anything healthy and just keep crying today.

So glad for this thread! Currently 31 weeks and spent most of it feeling like I can’t complain and need to just be happy that I managed to get pregnant, when actually it isn’t exactly the wholly magical experience everyone seemed to make out it would be!

Sickness. Tiredness. Aches and pains. Emotional rollercoaster.

Thank you for posting op - it’s given me reassurance that we are all in the same boat, so hopefully you feel the same!!

Sounds like you're having a rough time op.
When I was having DS I had a bleed at 9 weeks and I was signed off work. I ended up having the whole of my pregnancy off, my GP was happy to give me sick notes so I made the most of it 😊
I had planned for vbac but ended up having another emergency CS.

It's tough but worth it all when you get to see and hold your new baby.

I hated pregnancy, I was swollen, suffered from anxiety, my pre existing illness got worse and I had to go to the hospital weekly to monitor cholistasis and then ended up with birth trauma.
Pregnancy is awful 🤢

I had this, and I swear I would rather give birth once a month for nine months than be pregnant. The midwife gave me a very face but then saw my notes. The good news is that glow that most pregnant women have, you will have the day after giving birth. I wish I had hired a pro photographer because I looked so glowing and the grey tinge to my face had gone!

Don't beat yourself up, I was another one who didn't enjoy it but am quite happy i am a good mum now!
My close friend has twins through a surrogate, I am in awe that anyone would go through it for another person!

You are not alone in thinking pregnancy is shit.

I desperately wanted to be a mum. Pregnancy was fucking awful. I felt terrible, physically and mentally. I felt useless and incapacitated. I was terrified I was going to be a bad mother, that I wouldn't love my baby, that my marriage would crumble, that I'd ruined my career, that I'd never have time to myself again, that my personality would disintegrate and I'd only ever be able to talk about my child. I was terrified of the pain of labour and of sustaining life-changing birth injuries (as has happened to some of my relatives). I couldn't cope with the constant scrutiny of my body (from my colleagues, friends, neighbours, family) or my mind (about 20 different HCPs). I became suicidal at one point. I couldn't work (repeated panic attacks and crying fits are not OK in my line of work - client-facing).

I tried everything I could think of to feel more positive, inc pregnancy yoga, hypnobirthing,
NCT. Ended up with the peri-natal mental health team and an elective section.

I'm now a week post partum and I feel SO much better. None of my fears have yet come to pass. As soon as the mw put my dc on my chest it felt like I'd known them - and loved them - forever. I feel so lucky.

Imo the best thing about pregnancy is that it's temporary.

I didn't mind it, giving birth was a doddle, but I found child rearing tiring!

Same as me years ago. Pregnant with first, no close family, no child support etc.

Hated being pregnant, really hated it! Labour wansnt too impressive either.....but I’m a amazing parent, so not enjoying being pregnant has no bearing on your ability to be a good parent

You can do it...just take your time and trust your instincts

Op it will be worth it - I was sick from 5 weeks till I gave birth with both pregnancies. I kept telling myself at least I know I'm pregnant. Felt because I had had fertility treatment I should be happy all the time I was pregnant. It was along hard slog but the minute they were here the symptoms stopped and I could eat and drink normally. Take each day as it comes and listen to the professionals advice. I should have gone off sick in my first pregnancy but didn't (I did in my second). Good luck

I'm also in the pregnancy sucks camp. So far (I'm 27 wks) I've had no sickness etc... But the constant need to pee, cramp in my left leg, numb fingers from pressure on my nerves, tiredness, drippy nipples is bloody awful. I miss riding my bike properly, swimming outdoors, climbing etc.

I'm on count down - I'm literally excited about giving birth so I can get back to a normal size right now and start taking the sproglet on adventures.

I have a friend who has 3 kids and is envious as she really enjoyed being pregnant. I swear she's mad.

You’re not alone OP. I enjoyed previous pregnancies but they weren’t easy and even though I say I enjoyed them I still moaned and complained about a lot of things.

I’m currently pregnant again and it’s been the worst one so far, I was so unhappy about it anyway but physically it’s the hardest I’ve had. I’ve only recently started to warm up to the whole thing as a) sleep quality started to improve b) the really rubbish symptoms from the first trimester really wore off c) I started to feel the baby move around

There are lots of lovely and exciting things about pregnancy, but actually carrying the baby for 9 months, the effects it has on your body and your mind and everything else are none of them imo!

Forgot to add I’m 20 weeks pregnant and felt like you do n out so long ago. I do hope things improve for you soon

33 weeks here and still being sick.
Can't shop or walk around for long because I feel like I will pass out.
Spd is awful this time around to the point I can't drive.
I feel your pain!!!! X

I understand, I absolutely hated being pregnant. I was sick 3/4 times a day and in the night. My mornings were wake up, be sick, shower stop midway to be sick, finish shower, sick. It was awful. I didn’t stop being sick until around 16 weeks. Then I got fed up of not being able to do what I usually could.

It’s just luck.

I loved being pregnant. Minimal morning sickness, apart from some bleeding no major problems.

I also loved being in labour and giving birth.

Hated the newborn days. My babies were demanding and I didn’t have much support so did everything.

I could've written your post

To be honest I felt shit and threw up until literally the day she was born, the birth was crap too. Now 5.5 weeks and I've loved every second that she's been here. People ask if I'll have another and I tell them I'd rather pull my teeth out but now she's here, the pregnancy is just a distant memory and I miss my bump.

It's annoying to hear and I'd love to make it better for you but just try remember it's a very short period of time in the grand scheme of things.

I have two children now aged 7 and 3 and both my pregnancies were pretty fucking miserable. Medically I was well but the first trimesters felt like the worst hangover ever for weeks on end with the bone tiredness and an awful metallic taste in my mouth. I suppose the second trimesters were ok but at the end I was a beached overdue whale. I love my kids but I HATED being pregnant. Glad to say I'm not doing it again.

Didn’t have thee exhaustion but the constant nausea was what got me down.

With Dd I think I should have been hospitalised.

I went from 10stone to 8st 4lbs by throwing up everything I ate or drank or didn’t.
The retching was awful.

I had 2 weeks when I felt great then the heartburn kicked in and ended up going around with a carton of milk where ever I went.
I am allergic to dairy so ended up covered in eczema as well.

With Ds I felt nauseous but couldn’t throw up.
The only relief I got was when I was eating. I put on 7 stone.

I ended up at nearly 17stone when I gave birth to Dd but lost it all bar 7 lbs within a week because it was all water weight.
I could sit on the loo and wee for 10 minutes straight and lose 12 lbs

Would have loved a 3rd but it wasn’t to be.

I just concentrated on the end when I would have a baby.

Pregnancy is for me a really shitty experience.
For others they seem to sail through it.

YANBU. My first 4 months were vile. Throwing up, migraines just constant feeling of nausea. And it was a heatwave! The whole pregnancy wasn’t particularly enjoyable, I never felt ‘well’ or ‘glowing’. I would never do it again, I won’t forget how crap it was. I still look at women in shock when they say they love being pregnant.

I didn't have a particularly difficult pregnancy, I was a bit sick at the beginning and had backache towards the end, but otherwise no nasties. But I didn't like the fact that my pregnancy was public property and hated my boobs getting big. At one point they stuck out more than my bump!

I didn't enjoy the experience one little bit and didn't choose to repeat it.

Which is why it annoys me a lot when people say you are selfish not to have more than one child, yes because choosing not to put your body through that for 9 months is selfish.

Well you've got support on here OP

Any pregnancy classes near you? Yoga, hypnobirthing, Nct, nhs antenatal classes... they're mostly an excuse to make friends with other pregnant women to be honest. It's a big help to know other people are going through similar things.

You're definitely not a bad mum, I didn't enjoy being pregnant very much either. I also had bad nausea and I felt shattered in the early days but things did get better around 20 weeks.
Try to remember it is temporary and you will forget most of it once baby arrives. I had chronic heartburn and back pain towards the end of pregnancy and I remember being delighted that once I'd given birth both of those things just disappeared!

Just wait for the stretch marks, sagging breasts and possible testing later. Pregnancy and birth sucks. Some people do have that pregnancy glow and breeze right through it. But for most it's quite a horrible time.

*tearing not testing.

Also some women lose teeth during pregnancy because they vomit so much.