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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids peeing on my garden on school run

76 replies

I8toys · 28/01/2020 15:58

Not sure if I'm being unreasonable or not tbh.

My son has just walked home from school and said he saw a kid with parent peeing on my garden. It is school run time and we are near the school. The school isn't that far away and there is a drain on the road near my driveway next to where the car the kid was in was parked. There is also an alleyway that is more private a few steps away.

I feel annoyed that they chose to pee on my garden specifically of all the places. My son says he's seen it happen before as well. I know they have to go but maybe carry a potty, distract them and get them to a private place or back to school.

I know animals pee on my garden but its seems a bit disrespectful? I also know it won't harm my garden.

OP posts:
BanKittenHeels · 28/01/2020 16:36

That’s so grim. Wtf?
Yep email the head of the school, plus the governors and put it on any local Facebook groups.

mumsiedarlingrevolta · 28/01/2020 16:37

So funny that this was a thread this am...

wonder if it was your front garden??

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3807577-WIBU-to-let-DS3-wee-outside-in-an-emergancy

SerendipityJane · 28/01/2020 16:37

If not encourage nettle growth!

I think urine does that anyway Grin

If you see lines of nettles in a field, it's a good sign of historic human occupation ....

Heaviestdirtyestsoul · 28/01/2020 16:37

Low voltage electric fence wire rigged up at ground level where the peeling happened?

Wheresthebiffer2 · 28/01/2020 16:38

do you not have a fence?

Heaviestdirtyestsoul · 28/01/2020 16:38

Peeing- my mistake!

isabellerossignol · 28/01/2020 16:43

Obviously NAMALT and all that, but as an adult I see a strong correlation between the adult men who apparently just can't wait to get to a toilet and have to do it in public, and the little boys who were encouraged to pee at the first hint of feeling the urge, no matter where they were. I had a friend tell me once that men's bladders don't work the same way as women's and they simply don't have the capacity to hold on. It was what she had been taught as a child when her brothers were encouraged to pee outdoors etc and she was told that she must wait until a toilet was available. When she met her husband he was the same, as were his brothers, so she had accepted it as a fact without ever questioning it.

My husband, as a child, was not allowed to pee anywhere but the toilet (nor was I) and as a result it never occurred to us to allow our children to do it either. Neither of them ever had an accident in public though.

CheshireChat · 28/01/2020 16:46

IME it's people who potty train too early and in their smugness think they should be able to let their kid pee anywhere.

Gertrudesgarden · 28/01/2020 16:51

I've had a mum hold a five or six year old up so he could pee in my window box, in my living room window.

I looked up to see kiddy penis pissing on my petunias. She got roared at properly, I followed her along the street asking her why the loos in the cafe beside me were no good but MY window box was a suitable option? I think she got the message...

BohoBunney · 28/01/2020 16:56

I also advocate a hosing. Dirty gits!

Penners99 · 28/01/2020 17:05

Time for an electric fence system

EasyLifer · 28/01/2020 17:06

We need the obligatory diagram in order to advise your best line of defence!

HazelBite · 28/01/2020 17:06

DS2 came home late one night to find 2 young woman squatting behind our garden wall, when he asked them what the f* they were doing they called him a pervert!
He suggested they were exhibitionists and also trespassing/trespissing and he would call the police.
Totally unacceptable behaviour OP send a letter to the school.

MirandaGoshawk · 28/01/2020 17:07

YANBU. It would be good to have a quiet word with the parent, if possible. Once, I called out some older kids who I saw pissing in my elderly neighbour's hedge. In fact I saw red mist, stormed out and made them knock on the door and apologise to her. They were surprisingly amenable - knew they were out of order.

Water pistol at the parent? :)

MirandaGoshawk · 28/01/2020 17:08

HazelBite - trespassing! Brilliant!

1forsorrow · 28/01/2020 17:09

I highly suspect it was not a generic “kid” it was a boy. Somehow girls manage to make it to actual proper facilities.

Is it possible to discuss anything on here without it automatically becoming a lets bash boys and men? For your information girls and women don't always make it to actual proper facilities. Very awkward incident when local school had a thank you party for staff and helpers after an event, one member of staff (female) caught weeing on the field, she was about 30 seconds from a loo. God only knows what she was thinking but it took her along time to live it down.

WorraLiberty · 28/01/2020 17:17

Singsongbird it might have been but for the record, I wasn't fussed about it. The child needed to go and considering the amount of dog's/cats/foxes pee on the green.... Grin

What age was the kid? if it was a toddler, it might just about be excusable as a one off - as they sometimes have emergency needs - but an older child - that would be unreasonable to use your garden.

Wheresthebiffer2, there's absolutely no need to use the OP's front garden though, even if it was a toddler. Use the drain or the alley the OP spoke of.

yolofish · 28/01/2020 17:18

People do get really het up about a bit of wee...

When DD1 was 8 or 9 she was bullied at primary, to the extent she wouldnt go to the loo there. So she'd come out bursting and not able to hold it in for the 10 minute walk home. Did I let her go behind a bush? Of course I did!

I mean, peeing in someone's window box or front garden is not on. But in an alleyway/behind a bush/down a drain for a younger one - can't be bothered by that.

74NewStreet · 28/01/2020 17:22

Well op is getting get up as you call it about someone weeing in her front garden, not down an anonymous alleyway, yolo, so I’m not sure what your point is?

Kelvingrove · 28/01/2020 17:23

I am amazed people are suggesting a complaint to the school. I don't see how anyone can expect a school to deal with something away from school premises and outside school time. Why should the school be expected to deal with this?

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 28/01/2020 17:25

If it was a young toddler caught short behind a discreet tree or in a drain in a quiet spot (NOT in your garden), I would probably turn a blind eye, although if the school is very close by and the toilets easily accessible this is pretty unnecessary imho.

Don't people doing potty training do the before and after rule any more?

Eg wee before going out/in the car/before naps, wee after meals etc? If you are doing that and encouraging them to use any toilets you come across out and about, getting caught short really shouldn't happen often. There are toilets everywhere.

TruculentandFarty · 28/01/2020 17:25

If you are that close to school then the parents should make their kids go to the loo before leaving school if this is something that has happened before. School age kids should be able to hold it until they get home. I agree with everyone else, I'd talk to the school and a big bold hard-to-miss cctv sign.

Original poster
I8toys · 28/01/2020 17:26

Those that live near a school have to put up with many things from inconsiderate parents. I know I choose to live here so I have to put up with it but not kids peeing in my garden. The school reminds parents that we the neighbours should expect a little consideration. No-one else would put up with pissing on their bushes.

OP posts:
Original poster
I8toys · 28/01/2020 17:29

Plus my dh who is the most understanding man and not as highly strung as me said what about the kid's privacy - it was full pelt school run - there would be everyone walking up and driving around the school.

OP posts:
ddl1 · 28/01/2020 17:29

If it happened only once, then it could be exceptional circumstances: an emergency with a toddler or due to illness. But since it's happened repeatedly, it seems that you have unpleasant people in the neighbourhood AND a poorly protected garden. You need to invest in a better fence, and to inform the school about these incidents! If you have 'Neighbourhood Watch' or similar in your neighbourhood, inform them as well.