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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if this is too early a bed time

50 replies

starlight86 · 28/01/2020 13:50

So my 6 year old DD and my 5yo go to bed at 7pm on week nights generally because they go to school.

However my 6yo can lie awake for hours.

She eats well but is quite pale and skinny and always complaining that shes not well and i think its lack of sleep, well thats what i keep telling her anyways.

No issues in school or anything and a generally happy child thats also very advanced for her age.

Am i putting her to bed too early? What time do you put yours to bed?

OP posts:
livingthegoodlife · 28/01/2020 13:51

We aim for 6.30. I think 7 is fine and def not too early.

Originalusernameunavailable · 28/01/2020 13:52

My DSs are 5 & 7, they are in bed by 6.30 watching their TVs then it’s TV off at 7. So I don’t think 7pm at her age is unusual.

Myyearmytime · 28/01/2020 13:53

Give her books to read .

Poorolddaddypig · 28/01/2020 13:53

I think it’s far too early, but I live abroad where kid would go to bed later and have a nap after lunch (schools have an hour long nap time for all ages and staff!). Personally I think the crazy early UK bed time routines are really not good and lead to sleep issues for kids, by forcing kids to bed far too early and making bedtime a battle.

Caspianberg · 28/01/2020 13:54

For me it would be too early. Is she supposed to sleep until 7am at least? as 7pm-7am is maybe too long for some.

If she isn't going to sleep anyway and is just laying there, maybe try 8pm and see if she falls asleep quicker? 7-8pm she can do puzzles, reading, quiet drawing, all supposed to calm down yet encourage an active brain to tire them out.

Poorolddaddypig · 28/01/2020 13:54

Where I live people would think you were insane if you said anyone was going to bed for the night before 9, and I agree! In summer 7 could be broad daylight! My parents used to force me to bed at this time and I absolutely hated it and wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway.

Sirzy · 28/01/2020 13:55

If she is struggling to get to sleep at that time then it wokld suggest it’s too early or the routine isn’t working for her. I would try pushing it back half an hour or so and see if that helps.

pollyputthepastaon · 28/01/2020 13:55

@Poorolddaddypig I’m intrigued! What country is that?

Original poster
starlight86 · 28/01/2020 14:00

I suppose the main issue i have with my oldest is she is never tired. I swear she could go 24 hours straight and be neither up nor down.

She is generally a well behaved girls (with a few wee quirks) and happy and healthy but she is like a robot, never sits still, and literally has to be told to go to sleep.

For example it was MILs 70th on sat and it was just us in the house with them, we got some food etc and chatted while my 2 were on ipads, colouring, playing games together etc and we didnt leave until midnight, me (5 months pregnant) and youngest DD were falling alseep in the car but oldest was still asking questions about the bloody stars and saying "remember the time we....."

Me and OH are like can you please just chill out.

OP posts:
mauvaisereputation · 28/01/2020 14:01

I think 7pm is ok in principle, but I guess you need to work out why she is lying awake -- is she not tired, is she worrying, has not sleeping become a habit, is the room too light, can she hear sounds from downstairs? If she is genuinely not sleeping til late and its not something in the environment that is affecting her I personally would consider shaking up the routine and keeping her up half an hour or an hour later to see if it helps her get into a better groove. Also, if she is generally listless is it worth seeing a GP to rule out other problems?

MintyMabel · 28/01/2020 14:02

Is there any reason she can't sleep?

7pm is absolutely fine for that age as they should be getting around 12 hours sleep.

TreestumpsAndTrampolines · 28/01/2020 14:03

Mine have always gone to bed at 7:30 (well, once they went to bed) - now they're 6 and 9, and the 9 year old is allowed to read/watch ipad for another 30 mins in bed.

They do wake up at 6 no matter what though - I don't think the eldest has ever slept in, and the youngest only would if up late and he's in bed with us, so if they don't go to bed fairly early, they're knackered the next day by half 4!

They're good sleepers though - I don't need to worry if they have a late night because we're out, they cope quite well.

Sirzy · 28/01/2020 14:04

The party could have been that she was over stimulated and a lot of children will struggle to sleep after that.

Do you have a clear sleep routine with plenty of downtime before bed?

BrimfulofSasha · 28/01/2020 14:05

I'd look at her sleep hygiene.

Ban TV/Ipads before bed. make sure the last hour is calm . in bed at 7. 30 mins of reading and then lights out.

My DD wasn't a big sleeper when she was young and would wake multiple times....she loves her bed now.

shamelessfamilyoverroad · 28/01/2020 14:05

Mine went to bed at 7 until they got to 7ish. They didn't go to sleep straight away so I would say by at least 8 they were asleep and awake at 7.

MyEnormousTurnip · 28/01/2020 14:07

Do you have to wake her up in the morning or does she wake naturally?

I’d take her to the GP for being pale and complaining of feeling unwell for a prolonged period to be honest.

CremeEggThief · 28/01/2020 14:07

I think 7 is too early for a 6 year old, but I never sent DS to bed before 8, unless he was ill.

Why not try 7.30 to read and lights out by 8?

BillieEilish · 28/01/2020 14:07

Incredibly early Shock

Original poster
starlight86 · 28/01/2020 14:08

@mauvaisereputation

A lot of time she will come down the stairs and say she doesn't feel well but i think thats more an excuse, because she certainly doesn't exhibit any signs of being unwell.
At the moment her room is dark with the door open a little, sometimes the bathroom light is on and other times its not but seems to make no difference at all. We are generally a quiet house so other than general pottering nothing much goes on at night.

She is a definite worrier, so for example she can come down the stairs hours after bedtime and be like remember its gym day tomorrow, or remember ive to take this into school but again i think thats stalling/attention tactics.

Do i sound harsh?

OP posts:
Whynosnowyet · 28/01/2020 14:09

Ime letting her stay up later than the younger one is significant in itself. Maybe 730...

Original poster
starlight86 · 28/01/2020 14:09

@MyEnormousTurnip

I dont think ive ever woken her, she wakes up naturally around 7am regardless of the time she goes to sleep.

OP posts:
BillieEilish · 28/01/2020 14:11

She needs to be awake for another hour, yes, you sound harsh. She is not tired.

If she's a worrier how miserable to lie there worrying Hmm

Original poster
starlight86 · 28/01/2020 14:12

@Sirzy Just wanted to clarify it wasnt a party.

Literally MIL, FIL, BIL and then me, oh and the kids. We just got chinese food and chilled.

OP posts:
mauvaisereputation · 28/01/2020 14:13

My DD is younger than this so I don't really know this age group... My instinct is try to change something in the routine so that the habit of getting up or staying up is broken? And saying she is not feeling well or worrying about random things sounds like general anxiety so possibly see if you can think of a routine to soothe her or try to make time to just talk though any random worries she has with her??

Bluntness100 · 28/01/2020 14:15

If she's lying awake she's likely going to bed too early. Kids are no different to adults in this. If uou go to bed to early you just lie there feeling frustrated you can't sleep.

Personally I'd increase it to eight. See how she goes.

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