To ask if this is too early a bed time

[starlight86]

So my 6 year old DD and my 5yo go to bed at 7pm on week nights generally because they go to school.

However my 6yo can lie awake for hours.

She eats well but is quite pale and skinny and always complaining that shes not well and i think its lack of sleep, well thats what i keep telling her anyways.

No issues in school or anything and a generally happy child thats also very advanced for her age.

Am i putting her to bed too early? What time do you put yours to bed?

Personally I think the crazy early UK bed time routines are really not good and lead to sleep issues for kids, by forcing kids to bed far too early and making bedtime a battle.

This! I agree.

@BillieEilish When i say worrier i dont mean its affecting her daily life, shes likes to be organised and remembers tiny details, shes very bright but also quite a serious person.
We chat about school and life every day, she has a good wee group of friends, she has brought up nothing concerning recently that makes me think shes worried about anything other than forgetting a water bottle for example.

Does she need a little work out before bed, or activities, going to the park, scouts, swimming?

So before bed spend 10-15 minutes with her making sure everything is organised for the next day. Make sure she knows everything is ready to go.

So currently our routine is as follows.

3pm Picked up from school by grandparents. They generally take them to the park or do arts and crafts if the weather is crap.

5.30 i get home and start dinner and the kids arrive home.

6pm dinner is served

6.30 Homework and or a bath

7/7.15pm Bedtime

No, I understand OP my DD is the same, but honestly 7pm is too early IMO. I think 8pm would be fair, a special 1/2 an hour just you and DH and a bit of TV, away from sibling and then half an hour with a book then lights out for 8pm.

For context, I am totally British but live in Spain. My next door neighbours 2 year old goes to bed at 10pm.

They all do. They have it wrong IMO (judging from over tired screaming) We have it wrong, 7pm is crazy early. 8pm for 6/7 is perfect.

@Sirzy Thats a good idea, thank you x

So, she only sees you for very little time. Give her a 'special' half an hour and then 1/2 hour relax with book.

Does she share with sibling? That could be a problem.

@BillieEilish Yeah you are probably right tbh, at the weekend esp the summer im really easy with bedtimes and generally really relaxed about it, i just dont want her getting tired at school but then she is never tired so.....lol x

Good luck OP, you'll sort it.

I would get her iron levels checked @starlight86 There is a link between iron deficiency and insomnia. It would also account for the paleness

My two older boys went to bed at 7pm for years. Ds3, at that age, didn’t go till 9/9:30. He just doesn’t need the same amount of sleep. He’s 13 now and goes up at 10 ish on a school night. He then listens to audio books for an hour or so. He’s very academic and doing well at school. He just doesn’t seem to need so much sleep. I would try putting her later.

Mine go up at 7 for quiet time. Lights off at 8. They are 7&9. Both are allowed to stay up later until 9/10pm on the weekends. The youngest will have a lovely lie in, but the oldest is up at 7am if not before regardless of bedtime.

I wouldn't want my under 10's downstairs until 9pm every night as I'd have no evening. They both have to be up at 6.30 in the week as we leave the house at 7.20 to drop off at the childminders so I can get to work for just after 8.

Maybe give her some quiet time options - mine are allowed to play quietly (together or separately), read, build lego etc, but not TV or iPads during the week. I'm relaxed on a weekend with the iPad.

@Wannabegreenfingers That sounds like a good plan actually.

Will try that tonight, put her to bed at 7pm and give her some books to read for an hour and then lights out at 8pm?

I aim to have my 5 and 6 year old up stairs in bed by 8 clock, the oldest however rarely goes to sleep till 9pm and just plays in his bed. he then wakes up at 7. I have being worried it's not enough sleep but he just isn't tired enough to fall asleep till 9.

I think she would be fine to go to bed later, especially as she wakes up naturally at 7am. How about getting her a bed side reading light. Bed at 7.30. Read until tired. You could turn the light off if she doesn't fall asleep. Think that is a calming / relaxing way to go to sleep and takes the pressure off 'trying' to fall asleep.

My 5 year old goes to bed at 8pm and could easily stay up later. At weekends it's closer to 9pm. Any earlier and it's just a battle.

My ds wouldn’t be able to sleep at 7pm unless he was really ill. Struggle to get him down for 8, and he is often awake for a long time after that.

He’s like me I think - he sleeps in on weekends and is hard to rouse in the week. I think if you’ve a night owl you just are, and any amount of effort to get to bed earlier can be futile.

We had a similar problem with our eldest (she's 9 now but was doing it at age 7) not going to sleep at bedtime after we had read to her and she would still be awake at 10pm when I went to bed.

She goes up to bed between 7 and half past, has a chapter or part of a book read to her, then lights on until between 8 and quarter past. She can only read or draw/colour during this time so as to not wake her younger sister!

Since this she now goes to sleep better than before unless she has something that is worrying her.

I agree with putting bed time back a bit. If you're having dinner at 6:30 then they're in bed by 7 - 7:15 it seems a bit rushed.

My evening routine is dinner at 5:30, bath or shower at 6:30. Then the oldest one (9) reads her school book to me then I read to them both (youngest is 4). 7:30 I take them to bed. Youngest is out by 7:45 - 8 oldest usually falls around 8:30. She just sits quietly drawing or reading or something.

My daughter, who is now 10, almost 11, is very much like this.
Her bedtime is 9pm, but the rule is that all electronics are off at 8pm. This gives her time to switch off from the deluge of flashing images and information before bed. I allow an extra 30 mins in bed for reading, if she so chooses, although sometimes she will colour in, instead.
I check temperature of the room at bedtime as she seems particularly fussy about this; sometimes I give her a hot water bottle if its particularly cold. She also has a blanket in her room which she can use if her duvet is too warm/ too cold.

Biggest help for us was giving her a notepad and pencil next to her bed. She is an overthinker. I've told her that if all the thoughts in her head are keeping her from relaxing, then she can spend 5-10 minutes writing down all of the things in her notebook. That way she gets it out of her head onto paper, and she can think about it in the morning. Has really made a difference.

We used to do 7 for our nearly 6 year old but we moved to 7.30 recently.He sleeps better for it.

I think 7 is a bit early, my 5 year old dd is never tired! But 730 we put pjs on, do teeth, read books and then turn off lights for around 8. Can take 15 _20 mins to go to sleep. But if I put her in any earlier she cant sleep. Maybe try a bit later, but not too late, if mine goes after 8 she gets over tired and cant switch off

Will try that tonight, put her to bed at 7pm and give her some books to read for an hour and then lights out at 8pm?

Read to her. That helps my DD sleep.

My eldest (now 12) was okay at bedtime, I’d give her a book to read, tuck her in and it’d be across her face within 5 minutes and her snoring 😂
Second, oh my good lord. Up and down until 10, 11 at night. I’m hungry. My leg hurts. My eyes feel funny (then close them and go to sleep, child ). A combination of not being able to wind down quickly enough and not wanting to miss out I think! A friend recommended sleep stories, audiobooks, whale music, whatever. Ambient lighting.
First I left an old phone in his room with music playing... found him playing a game on it I’d forgotten to delete, wee turd. Then we changed tactic and just gave him a little Bluetooth speaker we bought off Amazon for about a fiver and streamed the music from our phones. I also remembered something I’d read about blue light on screens affecting natural melatonin production, so we stopped iPads and computer games after tea. One, the other or the combination of the two worked wonders!
Went straight in with that with the youngest, haha. No idea if she’d be a naturally good sleeper or not but after our son playing silly beggars I wasn’t taking the chance
7pm is perfectly acceptable for a 6yo, but she might need time to wind down.