I’m really confused, allot of this post may be quite contradictory but please stick with it and help me because I really don’t know what to do.
I have been with my husband for 10 years this year and it’s really made me start questioning my relationship with him.
We have two children, a boy aged 4 and a baby girl aged 8 months.
When my boy was 3 we separated for a period of 6 months because he kept choosing his mates in the pub over us. We got back together, overdid it on the making up and now have an 8 month old.
He has now gone back to his old ways, so far since December he has let me down 4 times. He will go to work and I always give him a ring at 5pm whilst I’m on my way home to see where he is and if he needs a lift. I would say at least 3 of the 5 days he’s in the pub, I’ve told him over and over again that I don’t want our kids growing up with a dad that always smells of alcohol and I don’t want a husband that smells either.
Every now and again (4 times since December) he’ll just go awol. Leave me with both the kids, tell me he’s coming home and just not turn up.
The straw that has broke the camels back this week is him going to the pub on Friday even though I asked him to come straight home because he’d planned to go for a couple of drinks on Saturday (which is fine, it’s planned and I can sort the kids out). I finally get hold of him at about 6:00 and he’s in the pub sorting out his wages with his boss who he has actually been with all day!
I suggest he stay for a few instead of Saturday to which he agreed to be home by 9:00.
I get a text message about midnight saying he’s walking home and he’s spent every penny of his wages in the pub.
I am furious, and the worst part is that it’s now Monday and I haven’t even had an apology.
I do the lion share of everything, I look after the kids, do all the cleaning and pay all of the bills so we need his money for food, petrol and basic living expenses.
My question is, am I unreasonable for being annoyed at him going to the pub most nights? I spend most journeys home anxious that he’s not going to be in when I get back, if he isn’t, whether he’s going to turn up at all.
He says that he’s been working hard all day and fancies a drink which, when put like that, makes me feel bad but I don’t get to go for drinks because I’ve got responsibilities. Maybe I’m just resentful that he has more freedom than me....HELP!